+._/ 我的皇宫 \_.+ ___* 永远快乐

End of this blog =)

2006-12-31T21:55:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, time to reveal my new blog link liao. hahahas.

I've shifted to HERE !!!! hahahas. it's a much easier add to rmb =) time to say goodbye to this blog. but i will visit "you" whenever i free de =x hahahas. Im really already starting to miss the time i had in year 2006.. and i really.. miss my zhu... oh no.. not mine anymore.. hahas. i just miss him and everyone that brought so much joys to me in year 2006... i love him and everyone so much that.. i dun even wanna think abt how's 2007 gonna be like without them for a period.. dun care. must meet out =D alright. it's really time to say goodbye.. drop by to my new blog bahs. will blog either this midnight or tmr ^^ tatas~!! all de best! LOVE AND MISSES!

[[ahvone]] - [[2006 the best year in my 16yrs of life. really.. sweet 16 =)]]

my love to you

2006-12-30T22:57:00.001+08:00

Only you and me -

I've decided to write msg to "zhu" as my last entry to round up my this blog. Tt's because this yr the most blessed n happy thing tt happened to me was being able to find "zhu" Our little story. An incomplete fairy tale, a tale just like my blog's song... =]

We started off as just being normal fren. ppl ard us teased us tt we r a couple. Initially it wasnt true n tt we feel tt it wasnt even possible. maybe because "ri jiu sheng qing" somehow feelings developed. I tried to run away yet it was in vain. I tried not to believe tt i've feelings for u but the reality isnt so. "shldnt hv started in the first place" yet we did. Sometimes i really think back. Our break-up izzit my fault. Even thou de reason we break up was "it" but.. hmm if i didnt say to u "shldnt hv started in the first place" maybe u wun even wanna break-up with me. We may still con'd... But somehow or rather. wat suppose to end will come to an end. Today dun break-up, other day will also. affinity comes to an end means end. I guess we wud have break-up even back then i hv not said those words. But it was a pity, our days tgt was rather short. hahas~ but im contented already.

Yr 2006, knowing n having u was smth magical. I've nv expected both of us to get tgt. Somehow i hv de feeling tt 2006 gonna be wonderful, but it will just come to an end. Who knows im really tt accurate. Neverthless, im still really glad tt u intruded into my life when i didnt expect. If it wasnt because of u, im still just having nth. Least i once had u. Those days we had, those words u said, will 4ever be kept behind the doors of mine. there are too many things tt i wanna say to u but i cant say here, but im sure u hear me already =)

Thou we can nv be lovers again but both of us believe tt we both in the first place shld only had been best friends, just that like u said... we accidentally yong bao zai yi qi... n i know wat we used to promise will not be broken. it's just tt we needa make it come true in a diff way bahs. hahahas. nevertheless. promises between us are not meant to be broken =) n i will always love u... this love wud be turned into friendship de love..^^

Duno when u will pass by my blog to read again but i believe u will come sooner or later. Now that everyth has come to and end. Just like the song lyrics, I wish the both of us kuai le =D n of cos i wish u xing fu too! as long u xing fu, no matter wat we had gone thru is worth it. n tt we gona be best frens till old =DDDD hahahas. wo men shi shuai bu liao each other liao de lahs xD kekekes. Really wanna thx u for everyth tt u have given me. I really feel very xing fu le. Plus having our buddies tgt, im so blessed =DDD Wo men hui yong yuan zhai each other de sheng bian de ^^ MISSES & LOVES! take gd care of urself.. im always there for u =) Our frienship gonna last de! =D n of cos with our buddies xD i will be ok, trust me.. ciao~!!! let's ying jie 2007 =D tatas~

[[ahvone]] - [[Yin wei you ni he da jia, suo yi wo xing fu!]]

Chalet pics

2006-12-30T20:14:00.000+08:00

ALMOST FORGOT ~!! HAHAHAS~!! PHOTOS TIME xD enjoy bahs. but sorry arhs, not really alot, because others were too random. It's a pity that i only realise that the photos taken were really few. If there's gonna be another chance i sure will take loads of pics de. hehes.

The Drenched ppl. After helping my dad with the shelter for BBQ. But that wun stop them from playing cards =x hahas

My ke ai de mei mei~!! Miaoru
The kawaii catty that's always at our pit area the whole day. I still saw it the next mrn!
The handsome andrewly =x N ke ai miaoru mei & siao me xD
Andrewly kana pinched by me =x
Friends since primary sch =D
WOOOOTZ~ nice right~!! i was BBQ-ing with them =D
THE SI BEI GUAI LAN CHEN CHUAN =x
MY BABES ~!! Nicola mei + miaoru mei + me
The ugly me xD taken by Choy =.=
The crazzies? hahahas i seriously dunno wat they doing
After my parents left. Lols~ she cute rite =D
The funny looking tiles that i discovered. Hmmm maybe there was a bomb in there =O or maybe treasures =DDDD kekekes
IRIS~!!! Garden terrace I. hahahs
The receptionist =x
-THE END- *i miss 26-27/12/2006*

End of 2006

2006-12-30T15:42:00.000+08:00

End of Chalet; Over & done with -

Genre - Chinese Love song
Artist - Huang Ping Guan
Title - Peng you bian qing ren zhai bian peng you

Hello~!! im back to bloggin but this entry gonna be d 2nd last for this blog link. After this entry gonna post an entry to "him" to round up this blog. But i wun delete this blog xD Will tell u guys my new link when evth is done =D

26/12/2006 Beng Hwee's chalet was a great success n tt now it is over n done with, all tt's left are memories n nostalgia. haha~ Chalet was really fun n memoriable nahs~! Glad tt my parents went down to help, if nt i guess we wun hv as much fun as we had. Thx daddy n mummy~ Love u!!!

We separated into two grps, Miao beng and dan one grp, me choy n tth one grp. Lols~ my grp incharge fd. Then when we reach aloha loyang we pengz~ cos there can cook ><" all d cookin utensils provided. DUH~!!! if we know beforehand, my mum can cook fried rice there instead, it wud be HOT -.-" hahahas. but nevertheless, d fd are still very delicious!

Then after settling d BBQ pit (it was raining tt day), all of them were wet, they went to play cards -.- Lols~ then abt 30mins later andrew, cheng chuan n moses arrived. Followed by Ivan n a surprise guest, NICOLA~!!! lols~ cos she told me she cant come ><" lols~ but it was really pleasing. Junwei didnt come -.-" Den my 2 buddies came d lastest. Hahahas. We started BBQ without waiting others =x HUNGRY. Sm of them really weird, they rather play than eat =.=" 1st. hahahas~ I didnt ate much, cos wasnt well, but i enjoyed BBQ-ing xD

D most funny thing was when d 6 of us BBQ de experiences norhs. Neither of us hv very gd experiences, so d fire kept on almost went out. Hahas. Den duno who cooked d fd till "chao-ta"(dad say like biscuit) sm not cooked xD hahas. Mummy said miao ate d most. Lols~ but rather true nahs. But least she happy =D others dun wan cook themselves their prob. haha. So miao after eating went to d rm to rest w nicola n ivan. hahas. Then my turn to play xD i went to d pit to BBQ. then suddenly d rain very heavy ><" the water came right down at me. So d guys started to help me lo. Haiyo, sotong me. I was sick, so they dun let me play too much -.-" hehes. 1 very funny thing is tt my mum bought de "mai ya tang". Normally we bought is watery de. Who knows Tt day turned out to be hard de!! LOLS~! I was rather inpatient so sm of my fd no hv honey d taste xD The best fd was mum's fried rice, chicken wings, Tth's mum marinade de stingray n otah man~!! but these two were spicy, then sm1 dun let me eat too much, but i still eat xD kekeks.

Soon ppl slowly start to go hm n d leftover ones were playing cards n mahjong xD I duno how to play so i just packed up a lil w dad n see them play. Mum played mahjong w Choy, beng n daniel. Me miao n tth noe nth abt it, so we simply just looked at them play n took turns to go bath. haha. dad even taught daniel mahjong skills =x kekes. Dad n mum was really funny tt nite. I guessed ev1 enjoyed alot. They played till 2am then my parents left =) thx daddy mummy~!!

Then we started to pack up n d rest went to bath. After tt we got into a rm to relax ourselves. Listen to music, talked crap n then some of them played chess n mastermind. Then choy brought wine =D so we all drank. Not really alot nahs, just abit nia. I 1st time drink wine, but not alcoholic drinks nahs. Miao 1st time drink then she chiong abit. XIA SI WO. hahas. then in d end she got a bit high, but she says she actually always lidat de. Lols~ But indeed she was high nahs, tt's wat beng choy n me see. haha. She was really happy =) im glad. Then choy finally cant tahan see her chiong wine then he confiscated it. lols. i was resting on bed, relaxing, then 4get to take pics =.=" so wasted nehs~ hahas. so we fooled ard until 4.30am then went to bed. Miao was d only 1 tt slept well. The rest didnt really slept well n i didnt slp too xD

Hence, d next mrn i super shag. lols~ but still i was very happy nahs. d v stupid thing is tt i still can go watch movie thou like half dead xD hahas. watched "Death note; the last name" super nice. Must watch hor! hahas. supposely miao can go watch w us de, but went she reached hm her mum forbid her to go out again =( awww. Then beng got dinner at night. so tt's d end of chalet trip =) im sure we will all gather tgt again. Dad promised me tt he will organise a chalet some other time n invite them all over to play =D Hope when tt time comes, ev1 will be present, then all of us will reunite again =DDD

This yr time really flies, n tt it was 1 of d best yr i've ever got. Those moments w my besties, buddies n all. It's a magical yr. A year tt's gonna be kept in my heart 4ever. Now tt this yr is coming to an end i hope next yr will just be a more fulfiling yr. It wun ask for a better yr, cos no yr will be a better yr w/o "him" n my buddies. I only ask for fufiling =) My start of a new yr is already gonna be a boring one. Cos i nv go out celebrate. just gonna stay at hm ... so hope those gg out enjoy de must enjoy to de max. Alright, gonna post a last post to "him"n bye bye to this blog... arrivederci... =)

[[ahvone]]===[i thank u guys for everyth this year. LOVE]

NIGHTSTALKER

2006-12-19T02:17:00.000+08:00

Outings Outings N Outings =D -

Genre - English
Artist - Augustana
Title - Boston

DOMO~!! hahas i know super long nv blog so here im norhs xD hehes. 1st thing 1st, i've updated my blog. Main pic nv change thou =x Bt those small lil pics at d sides mostly changed, proflies changed N links organised too. Hope viewers will like them ^^

Alot had run thru my mind lately, things tt had happened since june. Those wonderful times which i nv expect to hv yet i've got it. Yet Happy moments r owaz short. Now all i can do is reminicse upon d past but still hv to look ahead of my life =) Time waits for no one n is always cruel so i needa b strong =) I really miss him, even thou we r within reach. "The worst way to miss sm1 is when he/she is jux right beside u yet u cant love" Now i understand this pain. Hahs. Unpredictable.

For some reasons i get to know wat's my positive assert/capability = help ppl make-up N dress up. LOLS~!!! Hahas. Maybe 1 day this gonna b my main career N being an animator as part time. Who knows =P But for all i know i wanna achieve 3 BIG DREAMS. Being an animator, make-up artist N ladyboss =) Sounds rather ambitious but tt's my love ^^

Happenings since last wed =x hahahas Slight chances but still as fun as expected to b:

06/12[Wed] - Drama marathon w miao, N she had dinner over at my hse. hahas. tt day i was pretty sian so didnt manage to company her much, sry nehs >< hahas but glad she still had fun =)

07/12[Thurs] - Went to bugis only w mum cos sis cant make it, she was working. Shopped from 12plus to 9plus. Hahas, bought kinda lots of things. Clothings, accessories, shoe. 4got to buy make-up stuff =.= hahas. But it was really fun

08/12[Fri] - Went to saloon n got my hair done. Was pretty scary lahs. Scary cos of d long duration i stayed there. 1st time stay so long in a saloon. 2pm - 10pm ><>< hais. BO BIAN~ but im pretty happy w my hairstyle result. Thou Mr Choy say like ah lian -.-" Red NOT = ah lian mahs ~ =P Blehs. Opps~ lidat suan bu suan bad mouth har? hahahahas~ Red my fav color mahs =D Wanna highlight purple but cant. Cos nid bleach to make de purple appear, but my hair very dry le, will damage my hair farther. hahahas. so now doin treatment. hahahahas~ Had a super nice chat w d hairstylist =P *secret*

09/12[Sat] - No drama marathon, rot at hm, slack N watched anime/comic dao shuang shuang~ =D

10/12[Sun] - Went bedok w mum, only manage to buy a t-shirt. Cos nth much, couldn't find nice heels =( hahahas. But was rather nice lahs, just jalan jalan lor =D

11/12[Mon] - No drama marathon, instead went to change new hp =DDD was super happy tt day. hahahas. finally got wat i wanted. Appreciate! hahas. Mum N dad changed phone too. Helped them N myself to upload things to d phone till 2am lidat. Den i only manage slp at 4am. hahahas. worth it, cos ev1 was super happy ^^

12/12[Tues] - Suppose to go dance but didnt, cos of d previous nite. In d end rot at hm watch anime, dramas N comics =D

13/12[Wed] - When out w Choy, Miao N Daniel to find chalet location. Met up w TTH at nite for dinner cum supper. Cos Choy miao n me went to watch THE HOLIDAY. Rather nice movie lahs, thou kinda lovey dovey d. hahas. But v touching =) Manage to find d location of chalet, but d prob is tt eh... WHAT IF IT RAINS?~!~!~!~!!!!!! Rainin season lehs. oh well, sure gotta hv a way out, now still managing =) luckily dad N mum helped me pretty much. THX MUMMY N DADDY~ Oh ya, saw Wei-Qi too, rather pleasing =)

14/12[Thurs] - No drama marathon N din went dance also =x cos slp at abt 3plus de previous nite =x hahas~ Cant rmb wat i did, most prolly rotting la, hor? kekekes

15/12[Fri] - Went to d magic show, "MAGIC OF LOVE" at expo, organised by FBCC[church thing], w Choy, Nicola n Ivan. The Magic show was really fabulous N touching. I really enjoyed. Thx guys. Hmm went to eat at sembang bedok. Hahas. alot funny things happened after tt. Was v happy =)) N i came to realise...Shldnt hv started it in d 1st place...Yet we started...Hence, I accept d result of us td, i will do my best to b strong, yet i still luv u in my heart. A diff kind of luv... =) The kind of HATE-LOVE... I dunno if any1 understand this meaning LOLS~ as it be =P AIYA~ a pity nvr take pics with them that nite lahs. haiyo ><

16/12[Sat] - Drama marathon w miao =DDD FINALLY >< omoz overslept tt day =P hahas But a pity she couldnt stay long. We took a few pics tt day. We promised to take more pics this wed =D hahahas. smhow i love miao so much =D hahahas Loveable =) i love to be w her in outings or wat d. just fun norhs =D Love u mei mei~

17/12[Sun] - Planned Chalet things for d whole day[SEH~]. Plannings are all OK. The ONLY PROB is WHAT IF IT RAINS ><><" dong~ Boohoohoo~ Sunday so many shows, but missed d shows >< Aiya nvm sua~ WORTH it d. hahas~ In d end also 3plus then slp -.-

I duno y i recently like cant slp early lidat. Yarh, smth on my mind which i choose to close it at d back of my door =x hahas. BO BIAN im at night more active d. hehes td dad nv work so accompany us~ so happy! n dad help me w bbq stuff also. kekes. Tmr meetin up wen qing ah gong n huimin for awhile. Den go out on wed. I like so busy =x those working den call busy =x hahahhas. Wanted to draw but din manage to, maybe after blogging i will =x Sounds crazy? Sorry lahs, im nvr normal =x hehehes. drawing is my life =D okok, no matter wat, live everyday happily. Tomodachi owaz d best =) Gdnite all, paiseh arhs. entry so long. Raining season, all better tuck under ur blankets to keep warm, dun catch a cold ^^

[[ahvone]] = [[It's Just diff, i accept the diff in us..after chalet, new frenship, end of us]]

ureshii~

2006-12-05T22:54:00.000+08:00

Feeling ultra times better -

Hey~ I'm back to blog again =D hahas. n i wanna say tt im really feeling much better now, sry for de entry this morning or rather ytd midnight. hahahas. Really wanted to delete tt entry, but i didnt cos i think tt's really how i feel so im just gonna leave it there ^^ since now im ok, everyth jiu ok le norhs. But do still tag or wateva de. kekekes x))

Went back to Tpss for dancing. Kekes, really had fun, esp with Miaoru, Nicola n some of de juniors. Oh~! with Syaiful too, my super dance lamer friend. hahahahs~ I think today i laugh out alot cos of his stupid actions man. kekekes. afterall must thank him too xD n of cos my ke ai de nicola mei lor. Noe i made her kinda worry man >< Lols~ we are late queens =x kekekes~ Im really so happy today, cos i danced again, but sad nahs, not participating anymore. Nostalgia over de past when we all were dancing, esp with Bai lao shi. I miss him so much. Even going for lessons will also recall his everyth... I wonder how is he le =) Sure gotta be fine. Bai lao shi wo hao xiang ni, da jia dou hao xiang nian ni.. Dancing is really great, it's nv easy, i decided to dance for as long as i can. Even go poly also wanna dance. I noe gotta be tiring, but i still wanna dance. Hopefully i can get in norhs =D

After dancing, Miaoru came to my house to watch "Ai shang qian jin mei mei" LOls~ a comedy =D hehhehs, she coming over again tmr. WHEEE~!!! Fun lor, we got so many dramas wanna watch man. Or rather i've so many anime and dramas to watch, n i cant wait to draw draw draw =D hehehs~ i very hyper =x For the rest of this wk n next wk i've so many plannings =D I dun wan happy also cant liao. hahahahas~ YAY~ i very happy now. Lols~ i sot le =x

Tmr - Drama watching marathon with miaoru

Thursday - Outing to bugis with Mummy and jiejie maybe will tag along

Friday - Going Saloon with Mummy to rebond & cut hair [scare scare. dunno wan cut wat hairstyle]

Saturday-monday - Maybe drama watching marathon again

Tuesday - Dance

Wenesday - Outing to find chalet location

Thurday - Dance

Friday - Special day =) No lahs. hahaas. meeting Nicola and friends =)

OH YA~!! Last but not least, thx Shi lao shi for borrowing us de portable radio for chalet. hehes~ yay yay yay~!! lalala~!! okay~ i going to rest liao. take care peeps. tatas~

[[ahvone]] = [[Happy, ureshii]]

True friends?

2006-12-05T02:19:00.000+08:00

I need someone to be there to make me smile -

Pouring out my unhappiness cos i can't slp. I feel like i'm losing my true happy smiles.. I'm still rather lost, i feel like i'm sm1 ppl love to take in possesion n discard whenever they like. As thou im like air..follows de wind wherever it takes. I dun wanna tell my parents wat's going on, cos i noe they hv their own worries.. Thus, i hope to settle myself. I know they are aware im sad but as usual, they wun probe when i choose to keep quiet. i know im making them sad too. Hence, i really wanna gain back my true smiles.....

I realised i cried for no reasons, tears just flow. I duno y, but i guess my heart is really wounded, thou i feel as thou im ok. Maybe.. i really shld learn to be fully independent. I'm sm1 who will be lost if i lose dependence on de sm1. n tt's what happening to me now. Ppl enjoy holidays, i like suffer holidays.. Wth ><"
I really wana live each day happily. Just hope sm1 will slap / shake me hard and ask me to be truly strong and stop floating like a lost soul. My crazy laughters became bitter laughter. My smiles became hidden cries. Is it really so hard to stand up n be strong again? Is it tt im not trying hard enuff? I need a friend, sm1 to hold me up and support me strong, even thou im afraid to be dependent. But i noe i can only regain myself when i noe there's sm1 who supports me in things i do.

Im such a failure in both bgr n friendship. Nv hv a proper bgr.. n nv is consider a best choice as friend.. Bgr at my age i sorta able to slowly learn n understand. But in friendship I'm like also a unsuccessful friend.. I dun make my friends smiles more.. instead worry more.. Havin me as a fren is like more of agony than happiness. Maybe im really sm1 cant be trusted.. Maybe.. im just more suitable to be kept shut at home.. Maybe.. I'm not worth for anyone at all.. Maybe im born to be just for my family... But im blessed =) cos i got a 2nd chance to live =D

Maybe i'm nv a gd friend at all.. I only hurt my friends.. Leave me b4 u gonna regret... Cos i cant garantee im able to bring happiness to my friends.. Because.. im a bad friend.. i dun think anyone wanna stay long with me.. because my helpings will only end up as a hindrance to my friends..

This kind of reluctance... who really understands... I cried both in n out... Who will wanna be born to be unable to bring happiness to de ppl ard them, esp their friends... who understands mine feelings.. who understands wat it feels.. to be feel like a jinx... who understands how much i wanna cherish every friendship, tried to last every friendship but end up betrayed or misunderstood... who understands this kind of pain... I dun wan pity.. i dun wan apologies... i want friends who trust.. dun nid 24/7... but least just give basic trust. I give my trust despite countless of smiliar situation. Am i stupid to trust others fully over and over again? My dad say im.. But i just feel that my trust will bring others happiness, but why doesnt others appreciate? Instead make use of it? =

Words are powerful.. but y always most powerful at rumours or influence.. If really treat me as friend, give me basic trust.. If i noe u dun trust me as much, how i give u my trust even if i wanted? Believe my words n not doubt them n then end up half believe half dun believe... cos.. im in pain.. im really am... I can forgive, but i cant forget. Words are powerful that it hurts de soul.

I wonder is God giving me tons of tests to pass.. Nay~ i not in depression =.=" but i just really needa let out my so-called grief...wahahhahas xD hoping sm1 will understand my feelings. No matter what, life carries on, n i will acomplish wat i wan, there's too many things for me to learn.. i guess, i can only take a step at a time now. cos i no longer noe are my frens really still supporting me.. Let alone reading my blog, my tots... if u are, tag me, msg me, i will appreciate it. It may seems not significant to u, but least it is to me.. Cos i admit, im a lonely soul afterall. Hence, i need warmth.. =) Nites...

I will be positive and truly happy, not fake it, at my best =DDD

[[ahvone]] = [[Friends are great,I love them like my kin]]

Tomodachi my inspirations!

2006-12-03T03:08:00.000+08:00

Tomodachi for eternal as it resides in the soul -

Genre - Japanese
Artist - BoA
Title - Winter Love

Hey all~!! =D I now it's really "early" Lols~ I noe u peeps will say im crazy if u noe de reason for me staying up till now is cos i was drawing instead of slping. kekes x) i noe it sounds like im mad but im over the moon for this madness xD Cos i FINALLY draw smth after 3wks! Was so afraid not to produce a single one. hehhehs, but since now i started holding my pencils again, i guess i will draw lots. Drawing is not just my hobby, it's a kind of passion, pleasure which i put my soul in them =) Seriously i dont mind to just stay hm to research on drawings / draw. Somehow i slowly regain my own style in drawing, but im definitely still learning, n i promise myself to accomplish my dream as an animator even the path ahead gonna be rocky n hard to carry on. I will hang on, pull thru n exile, cos i love wat i do =)

A lot had happened since the end of O levels / start of holidays. Pleasant as well as very unpleasant ones. More of the unpleasant ones thou =x But for once im glad all these unpleasant things are happened, as i came to discover, it's time for me to grow n learn much more. I may be a kid at heart, but the soul must learn to be an adult. Hehhehs.

I'm rather weak, falling sick for 2-3wks since holidays =.=" Really down with luck cos it really ruin alot of my plannings. But oh well, least i fall sick now n not during my Os. hahahas~ Must really learn to take gd care of my health >< wish me speedy recovery =P

Woohoo~! I realised this yr i didnt hv much friendship probs!! Grats to myself n thx to e might ones looking over me ^^ I guess it's my 1st yr not having major friendship probs =.=" All this while, things are really great, i've great tomodachi as memories. Althou recently there's dispute inside our grp of friends, somehow, i duno y i didnt overly vexed, as in i dont really broad over them. Not tt i dont care abt my friends or what had happened. Maybe somehow i learnt to really just let things be. For somehow... things will be straighten out as it goes. The more u try to salvage, the more complicated it gets. I do wanna help, but im learning, to just keep myself calm n handle things wisely when it gets ugly. For all i know, i'm learning, n tt's wat i wanna do for this lifetime. Learn, share n pass on my views, hoping i will hence, help souls somewhere, somehow =) Everyone is born for a reason ^^ So tt's y u, me, n everyone is here.

Last but not least, what i really wanna say to my bunch of gd friends : It's not easy for all of us to get tgt n b each others' memories. It's fate tt brought us tgt, n affinity tt breaks us up when time dues. I dun care when our affinity will end. I only care how we spend every single moment we hv tgt as FRIENDS. cos of wat i had gone thru over n over again, i strongly believe, there's nth called "Friends will nv quarrel". For we care tt's y there's dispute. For we share tt's y we are happy. For we love tt's y we quarrel to correct things. Because we truely love n care for the friendship tt's y we will quarrel n try to make things better / make everyone better. Because, we are friends... Even if neither believe what im trying to express here, this is what i gonna believe till my heart stops beating =) I love all my friends, because they are my inspirations!

TOMODACHI =D

[[ahvone]] = [[Fate Vs Affinity, i choose to stay by fate]]

想通啦~!!!!

2006-11-25T12:46:00.000+08:00

In every meeting there's gonna be a parting -

Genre - Dance
Artist - Samantha Jade
Title - Step up

HELLO~!!! I'm back! Alive and kicking and smiling of cos ^^ Honestly from the bottom of the heart i already feel much better, so you people out there, can stop worrying for me already =D Somehow i sort things out already, will further talk about it later =) First thing first, i wanna thank you people for supporting me when i feel like i was drowning xD but luckily got floats lahs >< hahahahs~!! And also, I will only be shifting my blog at the end of this year. Signifies the round up for my 16years of life together with secondary sch life, and then im gonna start anew to pursue my dreams whole-heartedly le ^^

Secondly, one of my good friend's mother passed away, my condolence. I know she will be strong and fine. Knowing this it makes me understand more on... what is called "LIFE IS SHORT! LIVE IT!" i truly understand it now. Our life may just end anytime, why not just pursue what you truly wants, no matter it gonna be failure of success. You never know until you TRY! but of cos in a positive way hor! ^^ hehes. Likewise, for BGR hur.. dun keep quiet. Nothing will work if you dont SPEAK! Words are like magic, trust me =) Does bgr shucks? To me definitely NOPE, but must always have de heart to prepare anyth not so good lah. hahahs. you get me de right xD hahahas. But overall, we are only human, shower your love, love it, love to the fullest with all your heart bahs ^^ remember my new quote "YOU NEVER KNOW!" wahahhahahas! All the best to the people out there, success or failure, live it! to the fullest =D

Lastly, i've sort out my feelings le nahs~ hahahahs. I must thx the show of "天外飞仙" scriptwriter! hahahahs. The words that were said made me think thru and understand wat ZHU told me at the first and second day when we broke up =) To love doesnt means to be literally there. And to love is not an action, it's really all about the heart, you need not proof it, you just noe it =) I know i have to accept that we are already broken up le, and that maybe lidat also not bad, least we gonna love each other forever ^^ Uh huh~ i gonna believe ur every single word that you had said before. I know our hearts are still connected, just like what you told me before, always will be connected ^^ I only know althou we cant be literally be lovers anymore, least the feelings are genuine and forever and also FRIENDS FOREVER =DD *ai shiteru~*YAY~!! 我想通啦~!! =D

[[ahvone]] = [[我会开开心心过每一天~!! ^^]]

Our love, so genuine yet short lived, but no regrets =]

2006-11-19T02:36:00.000+08:00

My Story With My Once Perfect Man For 170 Perfect Days -

The day we found each other was the day you taught me how to love. I didn't expect you to be the one who was gonna bring live into my life. Never did i expect.. you to be the one who will make me vulnerable but yet stronger as days passed. We started off as being close friends, we were confidants.. Never did we expect to be in loved. It was wrong right from the start, we both knew it, but yet we still carried on. Days were great, we played the game of "when did i know you" on 13/08.. that was the "2nd" day i've gotta know you, that was also.. the start of us. I counted days as they passed. So well so perfect so magical. I thought there will be a 100 day.. 200.. 300.. and more uncountable days for me to go on.. Yet it stopped on the "98th day" also, the 170th day since we found one another.

None of us wanted this to happen, i dont blame you or anyone or the holy ones. I believe in fate and destiny. It was fate that brought us together. Yet destiny wants us to end here. I know that people who know what had happened between us, found it foolish to break up for such reason, but i've never really felt the same. I dont wanna you to have the guilt in you, carrying the name as a sinner. Even if u are willing to be one, i wont allow you to do so. Precisely because i loved you so much, i didnt wanna you to be in any ways unhappy. Every individuals has his own belief, you have yours, i've mine. I respect yours and accept it. Initally i was very unstable, i find that having your love alone was not enough. I wanna more, i wanna be with you. But now that it has passed for nearly two days, i came to understand. It is enough to have your love. The love that i've never gotten in any relationships for 16years.

We cried, we wanted to get back, we wanted to just forget everything and be together. But it was impossible, we are obstinate, we know that even we are to get back, it will be different, cos neither of us will be as happy as before, for what we will see is each others' guilt and sadness. I believe, if we are really meant to be, we will eventually be together even after many years. And i too believe that even if we didnt break up now, we might still eventually ended up separate, because our affinity comes to an end. I came to realise, maybe this way of breaking up was better than how normal couples quarrelled and break up. Because least we know our love is genuine and that we will wanna to be each other confidants, the best one, for this lifetime. And what's left are all perfect memories.

I saw those eyes of yours, the sadness filled in your eyes, just like mine. I heard the cryings in your heart, just like mine, breaking into shattered pieces. I know we are both in the same agony, and i came to realise it was even cruel for you to break on that night when it was supposed to be a happy occasion. This date of every year will just bring you even greater hurt. Was that how you wanted to punish yourself for breaking my heart? Or was that ur fillial piety? I don't know and I won't prob.. I only know.. I've never seen you this heart-broken since the day i have known you.

The days we had was short lived yet the sweetest in our 16 years of life. We know that we will never be abled to forget one another and our love, unless memories failed us. *Haha, what a funny thing, I'm having Deja vu even writing this... I guess somehow things are destinated =)* I came to know what i really want from you, just 6simple things. I wanna you to be safe and sound, happy and blessed, peaceful and be loved by someone who's able to bring out what i wish i could bring to you. I can't be the one who's gonna bring you all these, but if im able to see you in such a way, i will be just as happy as being with you. I know we will both be hurt if we see each other having different partners.. I know it is cruel, but i want you to remember, your happiness is my happiness, and my happiness is also yours.

That was our first, you were shocked, and i did it by gathering all my courage.. I did it because i know I will regret if i didnt make our wish comes true. It was not the most perfect, but it was perfectly just right as a reminder to the both of us that we were once so happy together. I don't know will we be able to find someone able to give us this same feeling, but I know it will be hard for me to find someone who is so willing to accept me whole-heartedly. You were my once perfect man that i wish to have forever, but i know the time is up, i've to let go, i will and i must, in order to see you be once... that happy again.

I didnt really have gotten the chance to be your Miss perfect, and you didnt really have gotten the chance to be my Mr right. Although I'm no longer literally yours, in my heart.. i still see myself as part of yours.. Half of my heart has been given to you.. It hurts, but as long you have the 6 things i wished you will get, the hurts will eventually vanish and that i will have One and a half heart. A fully happy heart, and a half heart that's sharing your joys. Though i cant be literally yours anymore, i want you to know, i will still wanna be your best girl.friend, your best confidant, and i know, you too likewise will think like how i've thought.

It's an end, but a start to a strong friendship, im contented and glad that least i came to discover this friendship and once a relationship =) Just before we really gonna be just friends, make our last night as though we are really still one another's... After that, I guess our brand new life will really start. I don't know when im gonna start bgr again. Maybe never.. until.. i've accomplished my dreams.. And i give you my blessings on finding a much better girl than me, have a perfect relationship and have the 6things. And i still strongly believed, we can always still love even without being together ^^ I loved you, my Mr Once Perfect Man.

[[ahvone]] *** [[Simple is best, Monokoro Booboo.. ai shiteru]]

7 letters "FRIENDS" ^^

2006-10-20T12:48:00.000+08:00

Open informations about me ^^ -

Hey all, first time blogging about personal information =.=" but because my best friend, Huiminz has wanted me to do so, shall do her this favour. It wont really take up much of my time i suppose =D

7 RANDOM FACTS about me:
* Quite conscious of how i present to others
* Can't resist sleep xD
* Very blur
* Bad-tempered
* Stubborn
* Soft-hearterd >.<
* Ambitious =)

7 THINGS THAT SCARES me:
* Insects that flies!!!!
* Partings
* Being alone
* Being acccused
* I would be scare if i see spirits! OMG~!
* Feeling lost literally or emotionally
* To lose the happy life i have

7 FAVOURITE MUSIC at the moment:
* Perhaps Love
* Merry christmas Mr Lawrence
* Shining boy and little randy
* Yume
* Four seasons
* Qing shuo
* Because you live

7 PEPOLE i FANCY:
* Daddy
* Mummy
* Miaoru mei
* Sunzi TTH
* Beng
* Choy
* Huiminz
[Fancy? What a weird way to say, I love all my friends =D Even though your names are not there i know you people will understand, because what i truely felt is in my heart. You people know i love all my friends ^^ And i put their names as it happens at this moment of my life =)]

7 THINGS i SAY MOST:
* Sciences SUCKS
* Huh?
* Orh, Okay
* bye bye
* Tatas
* Then
* So

7 THINGS i LIKE MOST:
* My home
* My handphone [Though old liao xD]
* Memories with my precious friends
* Sunset
* Star-gazing
* Dancing
* BBQ/CHALET~!!!!!!!

7 PEOPLE going to DO THIS Next:
* Miaoru mei
* Nicola mei
* Ivan lio
* Sunzi TTH
* Daniel
* Xinyi Jie
* Niki

Hurhur =.=" finally done. Hmm alright, i'm going back to my revisions. Hope you guys are entertained by my blog =x Hahahs. Everything is in 7, 7 rawks~!! Because is my favourite number, lucky number xD By the way, even those 7 do not feel like doing this, is okay nahs, just an alternative, everyone is free to do it if they want ^^ tatas~

[[ahvone]] *** [[He wo yi qi kan xing xing~~]]

不想再沙荒了 ^^

2006-10-19T16:16:00.000+08:00

It's easy to lie but the guilt stays on -

I hate to lie but i lied. Ironic but reality, wasn't really forced to do so but just my own cowardice act. Promise to tell the truth one day, i don't want a truth to bring chaos, i just wanted to find a way to have less chaos. Though things are alright now but the guilt in me linger on for the more others felt guilty about the incident it only makes me feel even guilty.. No one knows what happened, only baka zhu know, but if anyone wanna noe wat happened i may tell, provided if im not busy.

But because of what happened, i learnt things again. "In every mistake made the responsible lies on ourselves. Knowing the mistake made, shall never repeat it again. Lieing is against trust, so don't betray the trust in anyone. There may be white lies at times but one day shall always reveal the truth of the white lie. Since what done has been done, shall not broad over it too much, life goes on so must be happy =D" And now how much my parents love me despite of what, that's why it only makes me more guilty for making them guilty over matters that are not real T_T Hence, i pray for forgiveness and understanding norhs.

Since what done have been done there's no point continue to feel bad about it i guess. Hahas. Alright, so should add alot of oil for Os liao lahs. And the rest of this year must be happy happy de norhs. i have loads to do and accomplish!! JIAYOU MAN!! WHOOOOSH~!! lalalala~! That's all for the day.. thanks for everything to everyone and really miss all of you a lot, i don't know why too =P Take care all~! P.S i wasn't really sick back then, i just have matters to attend to >.< sorry for making you guys worry. ciao~

PRINCESS HOURS RAWKS~!! yay~ finally watched finish, so touching and wonderful ^^

[[ahvone]] +++ [[Yo ni wo zhen kai xin, sry for making you worry too =P]]

Your confessions, our love ^^ ai shiteru!

2006-10-17T21:12:00.000+08:00

Cherish the present forget the past predict not the future -

Song on blog:
Genre - Korean drama Princess Hours
Artist - J & HowL
Title - Perhaps Love

Minna Konbanwa nehs. Hi all, have been quite some time since i had updated. Hahas. Quite a lot had been happening recently, somehow feel like everything is like a dream, way to pleasant bahs. So pleasant that i start to fear as i dont want to lose it. But i know i will eventually lose it. Thus, i know all i can do now is cherish the present forget the past and predict not the future =)

Thanks for entering my life and make a difference in my life, being the special one. What you have given me is smth which others can never give me =) The time we had and have left are short, hence the more i wanna cherish ever single sec with you. Things may not always be the way we wanted, all i wish for now is our separationn will not be so soon. Even if we have to part now we must mark beautiful memories so there will be no regrets. After Os as promised =D I love you too =PpPp

Haze has been gotten much terrible, so all of you must take care alrite ^^ i've nth much to update either. Just wanna say that im really happy with my life now and im glad for everything. Im a happy lil pig xD Having my family, my pig, my buddies, my pals and everyone makes
me a very fortunate and blessed child. I love you guys! So do take care. All the best too =)

P.S Fiona Ong thanks for the catch up today, you noe i noe jiu hao ^^ Dont be bothered so much abt the "her" you mentioned alrite and stay happy happy with ur man =) love u as always!

[[ahvone]] \~.+.~/ [[I love every single time by ur side]]

Now i know how much u guys mean to me T_T

2006-10-11T15:29:00.001+08:00

Facing harsh truths bravely and to be alittle optimistic -

Song on blog:
Genre - Japanese Melody
Artist - Ryuichi Sakamoto
Title - shining boy and little randy

Hi everyone! Someone wants me to update my blog so here I'm to fulfil it, but it's so weird as someone dont get the chance to read my blog often! O.o Oh well~ Hahas. Yay~ 'O' levels are coming~!! Im excited as well as nervous, Im not sure why im so excited. Hahas. There are so many things i wish to do after 'O' levels, and hopefully i can get a decent grade to enter the course i want. I do not want to waste any of my time before this year ends. Neither before 'O' levels nor after. Before 'O' levels of course is to study and after 'O' levels is to enrich myself everyday =) No more mundane life! *grins*

Wheeeee~!!! 26/12/2006 BOOKED!! wahahahahhas! WE HAD BOOKED A CHALET FOR BENG'S B'DAY! hehes, so happy! Although the date sounds far away, it will come in no time, just like 'O' levels =P It is only a 2day 1night stay from 3.30pm to next morining 10.30am. I know it is short, but i think precisely because of this, then we can enjoy everything to the fullest for we would want to spend each second meaningfully =) Hope that day will be joyous and memoriable!

Like my pal, Ivan, I hate to think of what's going to happen after 'O' levels.. because it signifies separation.. I most probably wont be able to see most of my friends, i suppose. This is really hard to admit but the truth is that we will all eventually part. Nevertheless, what's most important is those memroies left behind. Since it is known, so the more we should cherish and make our memories worth to be kept ^^ I truely hope we need not part but though shall not be greedy, it has already been a great blessing to get to know you peeps least in this lifetime!

I never knew how much i love you people until i started to plan for the chalet. I never know how much i love you people until i start to prepare for 'O' levels as the end of this year draws nearer. I never know how much i cherish all of you until i start to realise we will all eventually part and thus, i feel the sadness. I never knew all of this.. until you people came into my life and make a difference.. I wont name the people, because i scare i miss out names xD but im sure all of us know it deep inside our heart, isnt it? =) I truely love you guys, thanks for making feel like Im one of the happiest and luckiest ger alive and even thoush im not the best u people treated me like one ^^ Love & Cherish! Got to go for now. Take cares!

[[ahvone]] /+.+.+\ [[If only time allows us to go further...]]

hazy hazy ><

2006-10-07T21:48:00.000+08:00

Hazy hazy -

Song on blog:
Genre - Cantonese
Artist(s) - Zhou Li qi & Zheng Jia Yin
Title - Qing Jiang [Please say]

Hello friends! Here I come again xD Hahas. Just came by to convey my concern to everyone. Recently the haze has been rather terrrible and had caused much disturbance to everyone. I really hope everyone is okay, so do take care alright? Everyone must drink lots of water even though you may not like it, you need it to keep healthy (^ - ^) Really hope the haze will be gone soon! Hahas.

Alright nothing much to update so that's all~!! Love all my tomodachi. Ganbatte neh genki desu~ Hope this year's secondary 4 students can pass our Os with wonderful gradings =D tatas~ Arrivederci

[[ahvone]] /+.+.+\ [[I only wish to be by your side]]

It is all a bliss afterall

2006-10-01T10:43:00.000+08:00

Plain nice weekend -

Hey all~ Here to spam my blog again =D Woke up rather early today as yesterday night was really tired. Tried to keep myself awake but in the end i fell asleep before 11.15pm. I rarely sleep so early, least to me is early nahs, during the weekends. Hahas. Had tried to solve one problem since 9am till 10am today! I was trying to figure out why i cannot view photobucket webpage! Before i reformated my computer i was still able to do that. But right now when i entered, it is just a blank page, truely hope someone can help me! I'm DESPERATE for that, for all the pictures are in there~!!! T_T sadded...

Went for study group yesterday with the usuals w/o Beng.. Lols, someone missed him badly xD okay okay we all miss him but some one miss him more =x Uh humph~ wahahahs! later i kana beaten up! Anyway it was so sians, because i had to force myself to study chemistry and Amath!! Oh god, that's like tortures to me T.T Hahas. But is better than staying up at home and doing nothing, i suppose xD Drew an illustration as well, not done well, but i guess in every flaws there lie a beauty =]

Went to "fren's" blog, and i realise something worth to be reminded to others. By the way, unknown people were spamming on her tagboard nahs, that's like do duh duh duh~! I'm sure she is fine with all her friends knowing her well =) Anyway i know i had said this countless of time but yet i know it is easily being forgotten, even i myself will too.

"People comment of us negatively because they don't understand us well. This kind of words should not hurt us for they are just words that had not been gone through brains. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has flaws, what's so nice about pin-pointing others? Nobody is perfect, unless you are call nobody then i guess you have the right to comment. But i guess humanity will teach you, commenting on others only reflects more about your own negativity. So let's learn from one another instead of being upset about one another =) It's a beautiful world... yar? There are still loads of people who constantly think of us and care for us even without us realising. We should all be happy, thou shall be sad but not for long! =D"

Miaoru mei's words made me think. I realised i didnt know what i want between me and zhu. maybe she's right, over the time i may know. But by then... i wonder will things already be so different. All i know now is just cherish the days with him and friends. I don't like zhu to be sad i don't like zhu to bottled up the worries in him. Are we both so used to having each others' companion that we slowly take it forgranted? We eventually may part... you know... don't you? Neverthless.. I'm happy for whatever it is =D We can't predict so i can only wish.. we are at least friends for as long this lifetime prolongs.

[[ahvone]] _+-._.-+_ [[A big thanks to all who had cared and love me, it's my pleasure]]

Thanks to the I&N couple -.-

2006-09-29T15:42:00.000+08:00

Rather down week = -

Song on blog:
Genre - Japanese Anime [Full moon wo sagashite]
Artist - Changin' My life
Title - Myself

Hey friends, I'm here again =D Wasn't feeling too good this week for I had received back my prelim results plus some personal feelings affecting my mood. Hahas but overall I'm still fine nahs, I must learn to control my own emotions rather than to allow it to affect me adversely =)

For those who scored well in their prelims, congrates =) For those who had not sone so well, like me myself, xD don't be too depressed. Let the feelings linger for a day or so then pull ourselves up together and prepare for the battle with Os. Hmmm right now I don't bother much about others results, I'm only concern about HOW am I going to buck up in ONE MONTH's time! Hahas, so where have time to think of others?!? I can't even maintain myself already xD Hahas. So really got to put in much more effort! GANBATTE T.T

Personal feelings mahs, must thanks to the I&N couple norhs xD Lols. I not being sarcastic nahs, as in I'm not angry about what they did, but to me it will just be better for everything to happen at it's own pace right? Aiya, what done is done so never mind about that. Moreover, i need to thank you both, cos baka got to know earlier. But somehow... mood is not right... Hmmm I guess i need time to adjust to my lifestyle =] Now i don't even know i want to blog about baka anymore. Arghs~ what-to-eva xD

Okay~ I going to prepare to revise liao, bye bye! To my buddies, pals, friends, bakas, pigs, enemies all the best for Os lah har~ hahas. I sot liao nahs xD buai buaiz~!!

Follow your heart, listen to it... They are the most true feelings you have..

[[ahvone]] ^-.+*+.-^ [[Just when you think things gonna be right it may be not]]

Confidence is one of the key

2006-09-25T20:05:00.000+08:00

Found time to interact -

Hey all, just revised some physics work. Now is break time so came over to interact with my readers =D 2more days and prelim will be over lo. Even though the results may eventually be unpleasant for the eyes, dont let those discourage us to move forward and excel for Os alright? In fact, let them be a reminder and urge for us to do better!! Hahas. Long time since i write my "philosophy" =P Wonder ridzuan said de those unknow visitors still visit my blog mah ^ - ^ Nevertheless, i hope everyone is doing much better and happier!

Nothing much to encourage, except to those who are stress with studies. Hmmm, i believe "self-talks" are really important. If in your mind you tell yourself what you want to do and achieve, you have already half succeed. Never give up on a battle that has never even started, dont "stab-in-the-back" with your own positive mindcepts =D

Okay, i admit i was slighly naughty xD i continued to watch my animes this afternoon. Instead of studying physics nahs. hahas. But i manage to find time for both. There's no point last minute work, so im just going to do whatever that is within my limit. Mdm Lim had given me encouragements i should bear in mind and aim towards my goal. Should give myself abit more confidence =) Ahead of me is a rocky path, unstable and tedious. But i will not give in because of the toughness. Even it means to be extremely difficult i believe i will still eventually make it! It's just the matter of perseverance and determination. Really must put in LOADS of effort after my prelim, no time to fool around le. GANBARIMASU~!

*- Your words made me think, you asked me to search myself, the answers to your words. I may not have given you my fullest trust but deep down i already believe what i believed in. I only need your confirmation at the end of the day. Your words stay in my heart, im only waiting for the day that you would be prepared and dare to tell me what you truely want to say. i'll wait =) Right now i just ask for you to be happy and allow me to share your burdens. Je t' amour.. Genki desu~!!

Aren't they cute~!!~!! hahas. Watch Full moon sagashite and you will know why these cuties exist xD -meroko & takuto pretending as soft toys-

[[ahvone]] *^-.\/.-^*[[I hope people around me would enjoy each day with happiness]]

Back and alive ~ xD

2006-09-24T14:04:00.000+08:00

I'm back and alive -

Music on blog:
Genre - Chinese love song
Artist - Sweety
Title - Wo hai shi xi huan ni

Hey all~!! I'm back to blog. Hahas. Wasn't able to come online due to certian problems of the computer. Something wrong with my msn, so i won't be visiting msn as well. Anything can always email or tag my blog okay =D thanks loads. I had edited some pictures on my blog, not much change but hope u people enjoy =] Next time when i have photoshop then i will change my blogskin alright. Hehes. Meanwhile wish all my friends happy everyday and study hard!! Prelims are over/gonna be over, so no point feeling lousy over the results. Most importantly is know the weakness and hit right on the spot for Os ^ - ^

By the way, me and my mum are doing well, sometimes we do still quarrel but i guess we just need to learn to give each other a breather. Nevertheless we love both each other and this we both know it clearly deep in our heart =)

I'm an animation freak xD, so introduce an anime which i found. Actually i came across this anime like a year ago, but i only get to watch it last night. It is call "Full moon Sagashite" a.k.a Searching for the full moon. This anime is hilarious hahas!! What i found very worth to watch this anime is that, it reaches out to viewers on "never to give up the dreams we want to achieve". It is a very motivating, at the same time entertaining anime =D the characters are very loveable too~ Alright, go and search more about this anime if you are interested! Can be watched at Youtube as well~ that's what i'm doing currently. ENJOY~!!

Ah~~~ Not forgetting to say i love all my buddies and friends no matter what had been gone through =] Miaoru, im sure we all enjoyed ur presence just like how you loved it =D Even one day we this group of friends may not eventually keep in touch, i'm sure we will all remember once we were so close. Well~ I STILL choose to believe if we put in the effort to sustain friendships, it can be eternal~
Alright that's all for now folks xD take care enjoy life!! Ciao

One of Full moon Sagashite picture

- Mitsuki & Eichi -

[[ahvone]] \.-+-./ [Because i love you and everyone]

Mother, i will find u back one day

2006-09-07T18:15:00.000+08:00

What a downs week and day-

Just quarrelled with my mum again, yes AGAIN~!! I respect n appreciate her as my mother, but tt doesnt means she has de right to dui wo si ok~! yes, u are a mother, u hv every rights to control n scold me, but there's smth call a daughter's n a person's right. All u do is rant back at me, when do u allow me to speak?

Is not tt I love Dad more, tt's cos u dont understand me well. If u ask me what's stress, i'll tell u, understanding u is more stress than to complete loads of work in one day. I really hv loads to let u understand, but there just isnt a chance. Yea, i know u love me, i know u care, i know u did a lot of things for me. I hv eyes i can see, im human i can feel, im ur daughter i observe u. But y do i still cant feel ur motherly love? Maybe u just dont understand me as well as u tot. Dad is diff, he know me too well. One word he knows exactly how i feel, so tell me how can i but closer to Dad?

u said I only see ur negative side n not ur positive side, let me tell u, u are so wrong!! I've always told my frens how wonderful is my mum, dont believe? ask 10 of my friends n u will noe tt 8 will give u e answer "Juvone really wanted to know her mother better". Right now i hv no extra energy to care abt wat u wanna scold me, right now i hv no extra energy to care abt BGR, right now i only hv e energy for studies n no other things. I just wish u would gimme a breather for now.

I apologised to u because u are my mother, but tt does not means u are right n im wrong. I still believe im not totally wrong, not cos i dont want admit, but cos i really see those matters as just minor problems. Probably it's just way too hard for u to understand me n for me to know u. Maybe it's true, a family member may afterall not be the one who know u e most. For in e end e person who will understand u e best is still yourself, ourselves.

I just hope there will be a day whereby we do not quarrel, will understand each other fully, be a pair of mother-daughter whom possess genuine love. But when will tt day come? Althou i cherish family ties loads, but i WUN sacrifice my future for tt. Lost e opportunity in studies, n i'll be gone. Be my guest to gimme attitude. Be my guest to complain. Be my guest to be curse me. Cos i'll tolerate...Im ur jinx right, be it. I know u just cant be happy of wat i do. Cos from the day of my birth, u had already believed...im ur jinx. It's my fault for making ur looks change, making ur life miserable. Fine be it..i no longer..can do anyth. u told me u love me, fine i accept it. I'll still return u tt love of care..But the truth is still we dont know each other, it's sad but true. n i surrender to this truth on this day. I give up for now, im really tired trying to make u understand, trying to mend our relationship when it didnt works anymore. Im tired mentally..trying to pull u back to my side. I had lost you long ago, there's a wall in between us.

Dont pity me, dont be sad for me. Probably is karma, i dont know. All i noe is tt, i had done my best to salvage our mother-daughter-relationship. I vow to salvage this relationship again when im mentally n spiritually stronger! I vow to bring my mother back to me, n i will, i wont give up. But right now i cant for Im mentally and spiritually drained too..i need to find myself in order to find my mother... i wont lost hope, im positive =D

P.S purposely made the color lidat, sorry xD

[[ahvone]] --- [[Everyth will turn out right, i believe]]
-sotong signing off

学着过没有你的每一天．．．

2006-09-05T12:52:00.000+08:00

Im only human, only alil ger-

I guess...i shldnt had cried so much last nite, now i've a headache. Serve me right. In e end did not manage to go lit lessons, yea serve me right again...2reasons i cried =X but most probably im too emotional le bahs...

Ytd saw e news whereby e "crocodile files" tt guy died, i dont know y but i just cant help but cried over it. I rmb those days where i'll stick right in front of my television to watch his shows. n my bro 'll be there saying, "hey ger, faster come, crocodiles file lehs"...tt were e days, learning abt reptiles..amazed by his contributions. From e news i gotta noe he has 2daughters..both still so young. This made me wanna cry even more, 2kids lost their father in just 1 day. So sudden...so unexpected. I put myself in e gers' shoes, i cried. But now tt he's gone..i guess God must has love him loads, tt's y He took him away, to let him return to His side. May he rest in peace n may his daughters be strong.

I may look strong on e surface but deep down im still just a lil ger...I cried too..Tt's my only way to heal my wounded heart n spirit. It's tired to cry, i dont like it, but only when i cry then i feel much better. Sometimes when u gotta face e truth u just 've to, even if it means it'll hurt u deeply. I guess...it's my turn now, i noe we cant be tgt, i noe wat i want u cant give, me i noe...we're from 2 diff "world"...we'll nvr meet, just like out backs facing each other 4eva. Dont worry, im ok. Just tt i need some time to re-adjust my lifestyle ^ - ^

I cant be too dependable on u, cos i'll rely on u n then nvr wanna leave.
I needa make myself slowly walk out of ur world, cos i nvr wanna be so sad.
I'll tell myself i needa move on even without u, cos we'll eventually part.
I must know tt i've to face e truth, cos waiting 'll not bring me any closer to u.
Or...will i be wrong for everything?
Dont ever feel guilty for making me feel sad.
Dont ever feel sad n remorse for making me cry.
Dont ever say sorry cos...im willing to accept all these truths.
I'm glad u were here for this period of time.
I'll rmb ur promise to me, there are still valid, isnt it? =]

[[ahvone]]^^^[wo hui xue zhe mei you ni de ri zhi qu shen huo]
-sotong signing off

because im lucky ^^

2006-09-04T02:21:00.000+08:00

Im one of the luckiest human-

I truely believe im a very lucky person. hehes. Listen to my rants again. come come come xD

I shld hv been dead but i manage to come to this world, e doctor told my mother i could hv died in her womb if i were to be late for another minute. aint i lucky? ^ - ^
I came to this world being healthy n normal when there are countless of infants born to be not. Aint i lucky?
I hv loving n understanding parents when most teenagers dun get to hv. Aint i lucky?
I am able to walk, run n dance, my parents told me tt one of my legs were twisted in but it got well as i grow. Aint i lucky?
I hv few frens but they are all true frens, as compared to those who hv loads but nvr noe who is true to them, aint i lucky?
I am provided with basic neccessities n even some luxuries when others might not even hv e least proper place to slp. Aint i lucky?
I am given education when countless of children dont get to. Aint i lucky?
When i made mistakes i get the chance to learn n recieve support from others. As compared to those who were lead astray n were not given a chance, aint i lucky?
I need to wear spectacles but as compared to those blind, aint i lucky?
I am not very stunning but as compared to those who didnt grow well, aint i lucky?
I hv loads of ppl who kept entering n leaving my life, but they made an impact that makes me learn n pass on positive msg for others. Aint i lucky?
I am able to live up to this day n if i get to see another day, aint i lucky?

I just wanna tell u ppl out there, we are all lucky, dont think we are unlucky. Think of all those things whereby it makes positive impacts on us, be happy they did. We are all lucky. Being alive n able to see another day, this is already a very lucky thing, n definitely worth to be happy abt. I understand tt some of us do feel tt being alive is a torture as we needa go thru tremendous sufferings. I noe i noe, i truely noe even i haven really experience them b4. But let's think this way, why dont we stay alive n make contributions to the world =) Now everyth may just seems so pessimistic.. but think postively, there must and will be a way out, there will be a day whereby things go right. I noe it is easier said than done, but if im able to say, it means there are such facts tt do happens. Look ard u, rmb e history.. ppl who suffered made contributions for e ppl who are alive today, isnt it? No matter wat i truely feel tt we are all lucky =) it's just e matter of how we look at it. I've decided to understand how fortunate im n lucky of me n tt i shld hv cherish n treasure everyth i hv even more. Knowing tt things will part n leave one day, i still wanna do tt n precisely tt's y e more i wanna do it. So, what abt u...... ^ - ^

[[ahvone]] *** [[Celebrate live, cherish ur surrounding, be grateful]]
-sotong signing off

快乐每一天 ^^

2006-09-03T16:59:00.000+08:00

Well and smooth -

Woootz~!! Finally can play AUDITION again, last nite waited for de patch but wait till can fall aslp. LOls, but im glad it's ready now xD. Ytd after returning hm from study group jiu started to edit friendster's homepage. Seriously it was hard for me, cos i've nvr done tt b4, it was huiying jie jie who helped me >_< smth ="D">

Sunzi TTH had a new hand-phone so ytd i spam his camera phone. wahahhas!! n really thx loads for uploading so many pics n all those dumb dumb videos xD it was indeed fun yea. All these pics n videos are gonna be our buddies' memories =) n as promised, even after we all will not meet up often, de photobucket pics will serve as our connection. We'll keep each other updated with our pics stored there. If u all wan, jiu change de pw just for specific buddies norhs. kekes. But i doubt the others will care abt it xD as nong as we these few buddies can keep in touch jiu hao le =)

It's not tt im unhappy, in fact, nvr in my 16yrs of life i've been this happy, or rather i say i was so contented tt's y im happy =) But smtimes i tend to be afraid, everyth seems too happy to be true, im afraid i'll be complacent n tt all this will be gone, tt's y i dare not be too happy. But now tt a lot of my frens kept reminding me to BE HAPPY, i realised...*with relate to e unknow poem which mdm yasmin had told*

When u are happy,
ppl tend to be jealous
n u may even lose this happiness one day.
Stay happy anyway.

Yes, i did some changes. hahas. But wat i want to say is tt, since happiness comes n goes, y still be afraid to be happy yea? If being afraid will still lose it, then y not cherish n spend this happiness to e fullest? So now i know..i shld always be happy regardless of wat. Being alive for another day is already a reason to be happy, n so i'll wanna be happy everyday ^ - ^ so now frens, dun need worry i'll be sad le. Even sad also wun too long de lahs, n im glad i notice this now =D So everyone, be happy!!

[[ahvone]] +++ [[Nothing is more blessed than being happy everyday]]
-sotong signing off

meaningful meaningful =D

2006-09-01T16:12:00.000+08:00

Just before going to study -

Miaoru forward a very interesting message to me which i would like to share with all of you, it's in chinese, so im doing some translation xD. *gtg study after this*

If cigarette falls in love with match stick they are both bound to get hurt.

Dont easily say "I love you" unless u are ready to commit. This committment will be liked a debt.

A mouse said "I love you" to a cat, the cat says "Go away". The mouse left with tears flow out from the eyes. But no one sees that after the mouse's left, the cat cried too.

There's actually one kind of love called "Giving up".

A kite will forever only sacrifices/endangers itself for one string.

Women tends to change easily, especially facial expression.
Men tends to change easily, especially affairs of the heart.

In the world of love, there's nth such as who let down who, only who does not noe how to cherish.

If you meet your true love, do not give up easily/easily just say u wanna leave.

Do remember to grab the opportunity of love tightly, but not to hurt each other in this love.Not forgetting... True love is hard to find. so cherish and treasure it =)

Hmmm. learnt anything? hahas. i sorta learnt something. Stop thinking about if Zhu is going to leave me one day, the days we had/have left are good enuff. It's something i should cherish and treasure. Though the closer/better he is to me, the fears grow greater in me, i know if i do not cherish and treasure back this friendship of ours im going to lose it forever. And i dont wanna do anyth that will makes me regret. *Your words last nite stayed in my heart. But... maybe im more selfish, i just didnt want those. Still, it has been God's grace and kindness to allow u into my life, but i noe the limit. I will slowly retreat from ur life. Why? Cos im selfish, i just dont wanna get hurt that much. But when i said je amour te to you. u noe wat i meant, do you? every post i've made, im also waiting for u to read, even it will take a long time i will wait.* =) SEE YOU ALL MY FRENS~~!! =D

[[ahvone]] = [cos i love]
-sotong signing off

珍惜我们的每一天^^

2006-08-31T23:53:00.000+08:00

Finally finish editing my blog -

WOOTZ~!! Updated a lot of things on my blog td. Just felt tt it was kinda plain, seriously cant stand it so i started to add pics, edited my profiles n my tagboard =D But i just realised... my blog seems kinda pinkish + reddish xD kekes. Cant blame me they are part of my fav colors. Do leave ur comments if u pass by my blog. I dunno wat to mend on liao, n im a noob blogger xD Do guide me along!! Btw, right side de pics are all my beloved xD if dont hv ur pic up there sorry arhs, most prolly cos no hv ur pics =( But nvm, u stay in my heart!! =D

In e end i didnt return back to my pri sch. Alot of reasons lahs. Cos i hv alot to worry in mind, so e easiest ans i gave was i dun feel lk gg back n tt i wanna go play. Sounds so bad but.. i guess no one understands wat's on my mind. Im lucky tt i didnt encounter much problems lately n i've nvr wanna meet face to face with those. kekes. But i must say unfortunately alot of my gd frens faced them. Smhow it became tt i faces those problems indirectly? I dun see them as a burden, just tt those really bothers me. I Dont lk to see them sad. Can God pls be less harsh on all these innocent teenagers?

Yes, we all need to be trained in order to be stronger, but havin everyth at 1 go might be really too harsh. Im in no place to plead for them but i i hope God's benevolence n heart of sympathy will shower more love on them. What goes round comes abt. I just hope whoever is facing difficulties now, pls dun give up hope n do stay strong. I promise to provide my very best as a fren. Hoping tt im able to lighten the least amount of hurt tt u ppl recieve. Humans are vulnerable, but we are created by God. Fate is within our hand, tt's wat i blif till td. Turn ur hand ard n u see ur fate, it lies in within ur palm. Everyth works on how the way u see it. It's all up to u =) i gave u my best of luck hoping each n every single 1 of u may grow stronger each day!!

Having u was 1 of e greatest blessing i've ever gotten. But tell me, if this blessing will be remove anytime, it is still a gd thing afterall?? I dunno, n i think i shldnt think anymore, for all i noe now.. e days we hv left is gg to be e no. of days of blessings i can still hv. Wat u promised i'll nvr 4get.. n i hope via versers =) honey for me to drink, nvr leave me any sooner, will be there for me whenever u can.. Thx for letting me rely on u.. even it means for just this short period of time. I will CHERISH u n our time.. thx n sry... T.T

within ur hands *- cherish

[[ahvone]]+.+[[Just gotta move on =)]]
-sotong signing off

一天比一天爱你 =]

2006-08-31T00:55:00.000+08:00

Sick for a month o.O -

Hey guys, im still alive xD i dunno wat's wrong with me, has been sick for nearly a month. On and off on and off T_T i got guai guai eat medi le ne~ Anyway u peeps out there must take care arhs, dun be like me lidat >_<

Haiyo dunno tmr want to go back primary sch mahs. So sians, less than 10 going back lidat. And seriously rather go play bball than go back primary school. Im never close with any of my primary sch teachers. Well, have a few lahs, but they all not there le. Some also cant recognise me lidat. Shall see about it tmr ^ - ^

It seriously starts to hurts without even realising when. You dun get me u dun noe me u just simply... dunno the feelings. When are u ready to open up to me? When are u going to let me noe? A yes a no or a wat? Waiting is no fun. I can wait but how long do i have? I dun blame u or neither do i want u to feel guilty.. i just want u to let me noe ur feelings.. is that alot? Maybe we all need time. I will wait. Never till de end, i wun stop waiting, cos je amour te~ =) I still insist to believe, cant be tgt still can love.. kekes.

A super cold nite, i need ur hug. Not just de words, i want it real. Burrr~~~ need my slp now, just the right time to have my medicine. HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY as well. ciao pals~ oyasuminasai~!!! =D

*- loving u more each day.. do you noe? Love not cos of gratitude but cos feelings grow. I need not ur love back. I just wanna noe how u feel. May I...? No matter wat, i dun wanna part with u. least not now =)

[[ahvone]] -- [[because im ur "slp pig" xD]]
-sotong signing off

I love u more and more each day =] (2)

2006-08-27T03:57:00.000+08:00

- continue...PART 2-

[Jacket Ger]: If u ever pass by my blog n notice im toking abt u, i seriously hope u consider abt wat im gg to say. u can get as angry as u wan with me, but dun u dare lay a hand on huimin, dont u dare hurt her for she cherish u a lot. I noe tt u confessed to e guy u lk & e guy was sorta unable to return his feelings to u, i noe tt hurts u. But being a young adult, shouldnt u control ur attitude? Moreover, i only got to see u ytd, i didnt even noe u. Was it nice of u to give me attitude when i didnt even irritate u? Juz cos i luv lit n ur crush studies lit u got upset? What's de fuss abt? I noe u are moody, u might be angry of how e way he treated u when u luv him so much. But can u spare a tot for huimin? I dont know whether u noe wat i noe. BUT, luv cant b force. If tt guy seriously dont love u n had made it so clear even by hurting u, is it still worth to luv him? i dunno, if im u i prolly 'll let go. Im sure u hv positive assets whereby other guys would appreciate. Even thou u left me a bad impression, i still hope tt u will recover from ur sadness n move on with ur life, we are all still young =) n dont ever let a guy spoil u & ur fren's frenship [eg. u and huimin]. right now u may not sense anyth, but once u noe smth, i dunno how u will react, i just hope u spare a tot for frens who care abt u. Now now, i wish u all e best in finding a better guy. Just a gentle reminder: a guy who hurts a ger on purpose, esp emotionally, will nvr be e right guy for u, there's no happiness. Im sure u noe he said those word on purpose.. he had made it clear.. hasn't he? Gd luck ger, god bless u & huimin love u this fren =D

[Niki/Miaoru]: Both of u are 1 of my precious babes in Dance club. I wan neither of u to be sad nor do foolish things. I hv said countless of time i'll always be here for u peeps. Yes, im fierce but if u noe me well, im soft-hearted, arent i? Miaoru i not so worry abt u, cos u 'll confide in me, wat i worry is tt... u & ur mother's conflict. After reading ur blog entry im really sadden n shocked. DOnt ever ever tot of doing those silly things ok. u may quarrel with ur mum, but she will definitely be the 1 who love u e most. Rmb, she bore u for 10mths in her stomach =) u are her flesh n blood, so dun hurt urself. u are hurting ur loved ones too. n i'll be 1 of them, so if u bare to hurt me then do those things.. i noe u wun, right? =) As for niki, wat i wanted to tell u had all been in e email. Anyth u dont understand, feel free to ask me alrite, leave me an email n i'll reply, probably late but promise i'll. Niki, it's not easy to encounter such things during 1st yr but bare in mind, tt's life. Smtimes things happen for no reason, it's all base on feelings. Tt's probably y those "frens" did tt to u. Dun rmb e unhappy things, think positive ok, in everyth we go thru, there's sure gotta be smth for us to learn. THis is an opportunity for u to learn, to be strong to be firm =) jiayou gers~!! i'll always be here for de both of u. Best of luck!!

[Huimin]: You shld noe wat i wanna say. So keep things short n simple, i care tt's y im worry n tt's y im sad. I noe u wanna be strong but in front of me u can be ur not so strong self. I wont laugh at u, i 'll cry with u. u are important to me as a very gd fren, i dont wanna see u suffer alone. I cant lighten ur burdens but can share ur burdens. i noe u are seriously having headache as u are trying to keep tt feeling to urself. But seriously just gotta put them aside, u hv all de time in the world after u complete ur O lvl. Hard to say dun think, but u can choose not to rmb =D So jiayou lo. hving such complicated relationships are frustrating but it trains u to hv firm stands, yea? hehes. Take cares!! love yar lady~

[ZHU]: Ya ya ya~!! u are e last person i wan to tok to. zzz im half aslp le, 3.++am n im still not in my dreamland n i dont even noe when will u read my blog.. zzz.. Oh well, hopefully soon enuff. There's lots to tell u too, prepare for my rants hor. "16th day" since we noe, is actually almost 2 n 1/2 mths since we got to be this close. Times fly hur.. W/o realising, i start to feel insecure w/o ur presence. As in... even if u are there i feel insecure. How to say ne? Jiu shi.. with u i lack the sense of security cos u CAN leave me anytime.. even thou i may not be prepared for ur leave. Smhow this kind of feeling isnt gd, n tt's wat bothering me for this wk. Partially im sick, partially im really tired, mainly im scared cos of this feeling. Still, no matter how scare i may be i face it =) If 1 day u leave me i wont blame u i wont be angry w u, but i'll cry... cos i wasnt able to leave u by my side? Yes, take it as thou im selfish, but tt's just cos.. i care, i cherish n love u. Right now i dont ask for anyth, except, dont leave me so soon. 1 day if u decided to stay, stay cos u love me back n not cos of pity or cos u dun want me cry. I need no pity, i only need ur affections. n dont ever say no 1 love u, u noe i do. I know there are times when im really stubborn [but oh well just lk u =X] n tt makes u abit pissed off, but wat i noe even better was ur giving in. Many atimes we almost quarrel, if it wasnt u giving in. I wont just take, i'll give out too de norhs XD Im really glad of u understanding me, n im trying to understand u more each day. It's not easy but im willing to. We are both sturbborn on opinions n arrguments, so u shld noe tt once i set my mind is a no no thing to ask me back off. Similarly, i 'll not dun want u unless u dont want me 1st. I noe i get jealous easy, pls bare with me n ignore my jealousy. I dont know y but im just born to be easily jealous. n tt makes me feel even unsecured. It's just lk tt nite when we play audition, i can be really hyper this min n get moody cos of uneasiness e next min. I dun wan be a typical ger in ur life, neither do i seek to be ur ger in ur life =.= I just ask for a special place in ur life. Im called "cute" by countless of ppl, for gdness sake god knows y.. i only see myself as comical lehs =X hahas (also dunno gd or bad thing). But when u said tt.. i suddenly just felt.. i dont wan be just another ger in ur list as cute. I dont noe u get my meaning mahs, hope when u reading this, ur EQ is high high de =X wahahahahas!! Smtimes i dont even noe which of ur words mean e truth, which of ur words are jokes, I seriously dunno. n even worst i dont even get ur meaning =.=" I luv to intepret lahs, but hor.. this kind of thing is a no no thing!! i'll seh de lor.. cos im slow. zzz this kind of thing how any interpret jiu shi gd game le =X kekes. But overall, we are still purely gd frens n im really glad enuff for tt. tt's already more than wat i shld hv. i'll nvr 4get ur words =) n promise, wo hui kai kai xin xin de nahs~ BUT allow me to hv occasions downs, im just a human/ger. hahas. If i ever jealous again. either leave me alone or... cheer me up, but dun let me misintepret u jiu hao. hahas. I very hard to pls right.. only u n my close buddies can tahan. LOLS~!! n thx for everything... je amour te~

~+._.+~~+._.+~~+._.+~~+._.+~~+._.+~~+._.+~~+._.+~~+._.+~~+._.+~~+._.+~~+._.+~~+

Now i can hv my beauty slp liao ><>

[[ahvone]] + [[Because my heart is meant to be love and to love]]
-sotong signing off

I love u more and more each day =] (1)

2006-08-27T01:23:00.000+08:00

A warm welcome to all visitors -

Song on blog:
Genre - Japanese[soothing]
Artist - SMAP
Title - Lion Heart
A very old song but nvr fails to sway my heart. I luv this song just like how i luv u ppl =)

It has been 2wks since i last dropped by, here im to blog again ^^ sorry to hv keep u peeps waiting. Now tt im back expect me to rant on & on, it's gonna be very NONG[long]. hehes. Now shall we start?

P.S i admit im not gd at expressing my luv on my facial expression, but if u noe me well u'll sense it. Im sure sm of u had already gotten it, dont u? =) Im not gd w words verbally, tt's y i pen down my tots, hoping tt 1 day YOU ppl will passby my blog to sense my thot, discover my luv. To each n every1 of u, i wanna distribute my luv to my loved ones n even ppl whom i dunno. Luv is unconditioned, if u wanna be loved, starts by loving others. Every1 hv e heart to luv, so show ur affections w ur own way =D THIS is my way...

Probably i hadnt hv enuff slp lately n was sick, so my mood was kinda moody this wk. I dont know wat's on my mind except afraid. *er... not afraid of prelims or wat, just afraid of losing ZHU*... seriously i lack the sense of security smtyms. Im just a ger afterall, wat do u expect from me? Anyway this wk has been a critical thinking wk n also alot of relationship problems, for me n for my loved ones. It truely hurts deep within to see ur loved ones sad or lost. I've always noe wat i wanted for my future, but this wk i especially came to think thru n made plannings. I noe THESE are e things i want, im not going to let it go, im not going to be a jack of all trades anymore. cos i wan them badly. I wanna be an animator, i wanna own a shop w shirts tt i design[meaning i must pick up nite classes after i finish my poly on moving images]. Does any1 hv any idea if after finish 1 course in poly, can i take up another course? Cos i wanna take moving images n apparrel design. hahas. The last thing i wanna acheive... is nvr to let go the person i luv, nvr ever am i gg to repeat de mistakes i had once made. Making mistakes do not make us a fool, repeating mistakes are. I'll hold on tight to every chance i hv =) I've came to understand more tt we SHLD always express our feelings when we hv them in our heart. Dont keep them, tell it all out. If u luv sm1, say it! it's 2006 already, dont be shy, shy n u will miss opportunities. Nvm, we all need time right? kekes, just dont miss the right time. All the best!!

Haven been feeling any stress is a gd or bad sign? i ponder on this quest upon thinking O lvls are only 2mths away. It might be both, cos im way too slack, but on the other hand i'll be more calm bahs? hahas. wateva izzit, let's give it our best shot. It's de final lap, we just gotta hang on & mark it with a beautiful pass~ All the best to 2006 O lvl takers!!!

Wheee~! 2 days ago[on fri] manage to catch up with jie jie online. I miss her so~~~~much~!! No words could explain how much i miss her. LOls. e time spend chatting was less than an hr but tt was 1 of e best ever. We tried to keep each other updated abt our lives no matter how busy we are. We luv each other, we miss each other, we just wish we were there for each other. But we both understand we hv our own life to finish, b3 we can get tgt ^^ we'll hang on till e end, we'll remain 4eva. She lives e closest to me, in my heart. n tt's when i hear my luv for her, everytime my heart pounded. Tt's how much i love my sis even thou we are not blood-related =D Im very glad for her. Somehow the life we are gg thru now are quite similar. We faced similar situations n quite on how we felt. So u see, even we are literally apart, we are still de closest. LOls. Amazing but true. n i'll nvr stop loving her, not even when my heart stops, she'll follow tgt with my soul. If i go first, i'll be her angel to protect her, n i noe if she goes she will be my angel. There's endless ways to show how i much i adore her, she is just lk my family member. hehes. Jie jie i seriously love u lots, just lk how u love me. Thx for everyth, u may not be e best in others' eyes, but u are 1 of e best to me, cos u truely love n care for me, I LOVE YOU!!

Woootz~!! ytd was quite pleasing but at the same time worrying. Went for study group with tth & cd, & coincidentally i met huimin[my pri sch best fren], jackson n their frens. LOls. It was really a pleasant surprise, i was estatic upon seeing them, just feel like hugging them but it's in the public, i dun wanna be seen lk a lunatic =X i manage to make 1 new fren, elizabeth[she's really a very simple ger & blushes easily, tt's so cute!!], huimin gd fren. She looks just lk jie jie's gd fren, yiying. Not just in looks but even character!! *now i truely blif in this world there are 7ppl who'll look almost exactly alike >_<* Then they started to say my pri sch fren hongjun, looks lk cd~!! diao~!! eh.. i seriously dont think so lahs, but mayb similar in de sense of height, body structure & wear specs? LOLs. i also dunno y they say look alike, every1 sees things differently, wat can i say? kekekes.
Ok, there's this ger whom is huimin so-called meimei, i personally hv no gd impression on her. Not ocs of her looks or wat. Im not trying to discriminate her either. I know almost exactly wat's going with THEM. It's not just lk a "triangle" relationship, it's more than tt, if translate from chi, it's almost "5-bondings" relationship. Seriously confusing. n i noe my ger fren feel really stuck in btw the mess. All coming 1 after the other, as thou there's an endless tsunami for her. I really hate the sight of seeing her in all this mess, she's nice she's sweet she's pretty, but can all these positive asserts bring her more happiness than troubles? Now i know, smtimes smth gd on e surface might not be tt gd afterall. Ok, i dont hv gd impression on this ger cos of her attitude[i cant named her cos her sch mates do visit my blog, so i'll keep her identity confidential] *let's call her jacket ger*

-entry too nong, let's keep all msges for de next entry-

Je amour te =] ... i truely do

2006-08-12T17:36:00.000+08:00

Finally blogging again ^^ -

Song on blog:
Genre - Japanese[soothing]
Artist - Koda Kumi
Title - Promise

It had been quite some time since I last blog XD ytd was the release of O level MT results. I'm glad for my own result but it hurts n saddens me to see my beloved friends' sad faces, especially those who were not fine but pretended to be all right. I just want to tell those who didn't do well, PLS PLS PLS DO NOT GIVE UP HOPE! It's not the end yet, there is still another chance. So pls do not give up. Give urself another chance to strive. I'm sure all of u can score better grade. No matter 1 or 2 more grades, it's still worth it. I'll always be the 2nd one to believe in u guys, because u urself got to be the 1st to believe in urself =)

Wanted to watch the hanabi(fireworks) on National Day but did not make it, because my parents wont allow. I had been going out on consecutive Saturdays for the past few weeks =x hahas. Well... it's ok, I saw it on television thou n it was really kirei(beautiful)... May Singapore progress to be an even flourish country ^^ I LOVE SINGAPORE, forever my homeland, the place where I belong.

Was it last Saturday? Oh yes, it is last Saturday LOL. I went for the band concert with a big grp of ppl. Let's recall who they are. Hmm. MiaoRu, Yuying, ChengDa, BengHwee, TingHuang, Andrew, JunWei, Daniel & YongLi. 3 girls & 7guys, oh god... we are being own. LOLS. B4 meeting all of them, there were 6 of us celebrating CD & TTH bday, a belated one thou. Hope they like the cake. This may be our 1st n also the last time to celebrate bday with them = we all know that. Anyway it was really fun, I truly enjoyed the whole day. Everyone was especially nice that day, n I really mean it. As in even some of us were not really that close during normal sch days, they turned out to be super nice that day. Oh yes! I want to thx all of them for bring joys n laughters for the day. It was indeed memorable n enjoyable. I would nvr 4get =) Oh yeah, most probably after CD has uploaded the pics then I will post SOME, n then send u peeps those pics. BUT thx to Mr CD the pictures are not uploaded yet. LOLS. Jk, we shall all wait patiently for the pics. Must tx yuying, if not for her there wont even be a single photo being taken. n of course thx to CD's sister for borrowing him the digital camera ^^

As usual a round-up message for ZHU:
I know tt there wont be much chance of u coming my blog anymore, but if u ever hv the chance to pass by, take ur time to read my word for u once again =) Actually most of the things I wanna say to u had already been said. But still I would lk to say some of the things which I haven gotten the chance to say.
The time we spent tgt is considerably short but they are gg to be 4ever. I hv only less than 4months with u, n then it is gg to be goodbye. u know it, I know it, n we all know it. Many a times I told myself not to think abt the time we hv left, for it will only make me even sad. Still I just can't help but think of it, but guess tt is smth gd after all. It makes me realize the more I shld cherish the time when I'm with u. If you can rmb, we only started to be this gd in June. All we hv is 6months, to cherish to show the love care n concern for each other as a friend. I know we will all part one day sooner or later, but 6months seems really fast. Even if in the future we still talk on msn or sms, things will be just diff. I don't know u understand or not, but tt kind of chat will be much different as compare to what we are now. Honestly... Wo hao se bu de... I really se bu de... Will there be a miracle whereby we will still be like this close even after we graduated? I wish the answer is a yes, but I shall not think abt it now. Sometimes when I'm with u for no reason I became sad, tt's not because u made me angry. Tt's because the tot of us parting struck me again. In fact for most of the time when I'm with u, I'm truly happy. When u are not there with me, I felt smth amiss. Still I know with or without u I must learn to stand alone, I cant be too dependent on u =] But I will nvr 4get tt u are still always there for me, isn't it?
There's quite alot we had gone thru, I seriously cant even remember when did we started to be this close. I only know one thing... I don't want anyth between us to end now. Not unless u are telling me u don't want me anymore. ZHU really thx a lot for everyth tt u hv done. Seriously I can feel ur care n concern, ur love for me as a friend. I admit... I'm afraid to lose u, Im afraid one day u will leave me alone I'm afraid... when u find a girl u lk u will ignore me. I wonder, hv u already realize ur own feelings? I wont say so clearly, u must figure it out on ur own XD yupp tt's all for u, je amour te =] seriously I do. P.S sry tt i kept teasing btw u n her, i noe u dun like it. i promise i will stop but give me some time. Goodbye

[[ahvone]] - [[I love every single one of my fren]] =D
-sotong signing off

05.08.2006 =)

2006-08-06T20:25:00.000+08:00

Song on blog:
Genre - English[soothing]
Artist - Leann Rimes
Title - How do i live

the end and the start

2006-07-29T22:32:00.000+08:00

The end and The start -

Wootz~ I've finally find some time to blog =] O-levels are just around the corner, in about 96days, and prelim is drawing even nearer, in about 44days. It is really time to stop playing or slacking, put in the best for these 96days and that's it!! I urge all my friends to have a new start now, end that leisure. It's time for me to start working too, instead of using the word 'lazy' as an excuse for not working. Hehes.

Last few weeks were disastrous but there were still fun moments. For example, last Saturday I actually went to shuhfen's church, Yhope. I saw many of my primary school friends in that church and had also made new friends =] I saw many people and they were really friendly and nice. The church event was fun, i enjoyed but I guess I wont be able to go anymore. Mummy wont allow, she knows what's church about. Moreover, honestly I think I'm really still not quite prepared to visit church often. Probably because I'm just not one of them, I don't fit in, but I respect everything of the Christians. I even got the chance to catch up times with Weiting =] the only pity was that Winstar and I didn't manage to catch up times. I miss him. There were lot memories during our primary school days. I always regard him as one my best friends. I guess he was shock to see me at the church that day, but Winstar I'm sorry... I didn't manage to chat with you; I guess things are really a lot better for you. I saw you really happy, and that makes me happy too =) take cares.

Had study group today, the first real study group I ever had. In the past those study groups ended up to be playing so I never wanted to have them anymore. But today's was different, really studied and didn't play. At the most it was just chatting and having a few interval breaks. It is going to be every Saturdays, truly hope that it will help my studies somehow or rather =] thanks pals for spending the Saturdays out to study. Hopefully it really does benefit all of us =D

YEAH~ I'm kind of looking forward towards next Saturday, no study group + it is the day of our school's band concert =D I had never been to a band concert, but this time I went because it is my last year in TPSS and I want to support Hafiz, my 7years friend =] Besides the band concert me and my buddies and girlfriend will most probably watch movie together. Not quite sure which movie, but that’s not the main concern. I just hope the outing will be a memorable and enjoyable one for everyone. As long everyone is happy, I don't mind which movie. I'm sure it is going to be a very nice and fun outing~...

Alright that's all for tonight and may everyone be blessed with God's love every single day. Last but not least, I want to tell everyone something. In life we often feel like giving up on our pursued dreams because it is really tiring. But do bare in mind DO NOT give up, because it is the thing that we want to do most. Only when we are able to do the things we like then we will be happy. So do not be afraid to pursue your dreams even if the future is going to be ultra super hard. That's because least you know you wont regret over your choice. Everyone~ BEST OF LUCK AND I WILL ALWAYS PRAY HARD FOR YOU PEOPLE TO HAVE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE =D

[[ahvone]] - [[Ganbatte nehs. Yume =)]]
-sotong signing off

A very bad week with many bad days

2006-07-23T13:36:00.000+08:00

The worst week ever in my life -
Song on blog:
Gerne - English[soothing]
Artist - Journey
Title - Open Arms

This week wasnt a very good week in fact it was utterly bad. I really dunno wat to write here. But i wanna say to my frens is that. ty very much for all those supportive things said and i definitely learnt things from within them. sorry if i have let u peeps worry again. I promise that i will take care of myself alrite. I cant assure i will be very very happy everyday, but all i can say is that i feel really contented lor. And that just make me a happy person le.

Though in every aspect of this week is unhappiness, i will still live on and pull thru de toughest time. I am sure i can and i promise i will be optimistic =D Things arent always at bad yea? Moreover i cant please everyone. If really wan think of people and relations jiu think of the happy and positive de lor. kekes. k lahs. i really dont feel like toking much.. I just wish for a better week ahead. and may all of u be happy as well.

[[ahvone]] - [i learn.. i cherish.. i change =)]
-sotong signing off

Fresh new starto =)

2006-07-18T20:34:00.000+08:00

It is going to be a fresh new start -

In every part of life there will be times whereby we go "haywire", isnt it? I had mine and so I want to have a fresh new start. Others might not be bothered about whatever changes I want to make but least I know it will bring me back right on track.

Seriously I have gone "haywire" for more than 2weeks already. I do not know what happened to me, I just started to get frustrated and get annoyed over petty issues. I know I'm at fault, for certain things are just meant to be that way, no point getting angry or frustrated. If someone does something not nice to you, just think this way "have I ever done this to some one also?" If yes, then just take it as a so-called retribution lorhs. If no, then just ignore it and remembers what goes round comes about =]

It is really hard to constantly remind ourselves not to make mistakes, for we are just humans. But no matter what there is no excuse to repeat mistakes. I will refrain myself to make unnecessary comments for I would not want others to comment on me too, isnt it? We will all end up unhappy de marhs. I will not get angry or frustrated over minor things, for everything happens for a cause. I just got to learn to accept things and let go more.

If I have made people dislike me again I think it really got to be my fault. Yes, I think things differently from others, that is precisely why I must listen to others so that I can see more views. No matter how things go... I will not stay put, I will move on =] I do not ask anything from those people for I think I really should start to learn how to pick up my own responsibilities for everything in my life.

If you allow, please trust me ONCE more... I will do my best to learn from within and change for the better. Moreover what we want after all is still peace and laughter. We just want to be happy isnt it? =) No matter what is going to be ahead of me I will face it, they are all created by my own hands so I will mend it myself. Hahas. Hopefully this time round I can really have a fresh new start and stop all those nonsense of mine =P ARRIVEDERCI ~
Learn from this pic of takki ; Look ahead of everything in life =D
[[ahvone]] - [Atashi wa Hizou Kouki - My cherish chance]
-sotong signing off

Japanese ; Italian ; French =D

2006-07-13T22:43:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is the big day -

I'm really tired today and I got myself that tired on purpose, just to let myself turn a deaf ear on "rubbish tunes" out of those kakkasouyou minshuu... This was one of my worst days, but hack with it. Andrew, hafiz and hidayah made my day though =) Before in focus period I was really irritated. But during physic in focus hafiz made me laughed quite a lot, as in I was so blur that I did things in a clumsy manner and was kana laugh at. Hahas. I was being teased by him and I almost drop things 2-3times that they laughed at me for being so clumsy. Hafiz kept saying I act cute, because my voice suddenly like different? o.O Hahas he was just kidding and he really kind of made my day =]

During chemistry I really laughed non-stop thx to Andrew -.-" Every time do practical with him I sure will laugh de lor. He way too funny especially the way he does practical. Today he actually tells me he thinks he did wrongly only after when we were going to"finish" the last experiment. Faints~ Hahas. Every time do practical he also will ask me "you stay there" and dont let me do those practical =.=" Stupid Andrew... hahas. He is really funny and lame; alright I admit I was lame as well. Hey buddy thank you for making my day =]

I was on the way home when this girl from haixing catholic came up to me and asked if I could do a survey for her. Lols later did I realize she is shuhfen's church friend. Hmmm. I had a good laugh at the short conversation with her. HAHAS! I think her name is call "xingxing"? Sorry arhs, I short term memory. >_< Anyway I had an even good laugh at night when I was with my family. Overall the day was of a bad start but a good ending =]

P.S YOU dont ask me or you dont think I was at fault/attitude you when I choose to ignore you! Think about what you did to me and having the cheek to call me as your friend? Sorry I'm not for u to be use or to be hurled around. Thank you!

Ngo mmm xiong hum, ngo dou mmm xiong lam. Bak gor yau di ye jiao hai hou nam gai sek. Ngo hum yan wai ngo mmm xiong ngo dei wai zhou yak gor eu yen yi mou tak tong yi qien yak yong. Ngo mmm xiong sak hui yak gor gam hou gor pang yau... Ngo zan hai mmm xiong... mmm xiong hum mmm xiong lam mmm xiong sak hui ngei. Ngei meng bak mahs? Zhong yau.. ngo zan hai hou tou yen gor di chuen eu yen po wai ngo dei gor yan!! Hais... sianed...

Tomorrow is the day I hope everything will be okay and may everyone enjoy. Hehes. Kind of cant wait for tomorrow, I'm so excited to meet my fellow dancers and everything. Lalalalala~ Hmmm I'm really starting to love languages more and more. Currently I'm learning Japanese, Italian and French, but all in bit and pieces xP I just want to make full use of my brain to learn things that I'm really interested/love =] Oh yeah, lewis I'm glad as well and thank you very much. muacks~ =P I'm still feeling happy afterall. GOODBYE NIGHTS!! felice notte, arrivederci, oyasuminasai =D

[[ahvone]]; [[its all an ever learning journey, I will keep moving, I wont stop]]
-sotong signing off

kiddish freaks!

2006-07-12T23:51:00.000+08:00

Short and simple -

Something happened but I wont elaborate, I just want to let those insensitive and immature people be aware of something. RUMOURS KILL!! Alright?! Stop being so selfish just because you guys think is fun to laugh and had fun at others' rumors lor. If u all have so much time to bother about others, why not take those time to reflect onto yourself? Having a human form does not make you a human, it is with the right thoughts and compassion towards others makes a human figure call a human! [Now I know "an enemy of the people" is so true about people!]

I cant believe it was those people who created the so-called rumors. Oh well, not that I cant believe it is that I do not want to believe. I should have know this kind of people "true colours" way back from those things they had did to their fellow people. Probably the best words to describe me is "naïve" and also stupid. BUT so what even I am? Least I don't harm people and hurt others, I'm not faking to be something I'm not, and I don't use my friends as a source of "backup". The definition for friends is not like that. CHERISH LOVE and CARE... hais... I hope things get better =] whatever it is I will still ignore =P suffer now enjoy later, everything YOU do will have CONSEQUENCES. BARE IT!

If readers want to get angry over what they read here, all i can say is, because your heart is not clear conscious. that's why you are angry =\ well well.. i still hope everyone will take every step of their life as their learning journey =D

May this Friday's performance night be a successful one =D wishing all performers the best and may the audiences enjoy. Arrivederci =)

[[ahvone]] = [[Don't take people as fools!! Balordo!!]]
-sotong signing off

I will be alright =]

2006-07-10T21:49:00.000+08:00

Hello everybody Im here -

Didnt went to school today for some reason, only my family and Zhu know why. My friends dont worry im fine =] some rest and Im sure going to be okay. First thing first, about my tag board I know there are people flooding nonsense but I wont care, its okay as long they are not virus. Kekes. Moreover I'm just going to ignore it. About the "passerby" comment, I feel that is nothing of an offence. Really, it isnt. Everyone has their own point of view on how things work. My definition for "two-headed snake" just might not be the same as the passerbys. But I dare to say one thing loudly "BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ME YOU DONT HAVE THE RIGHT TO COMMENT" ... Think about this sentence =) Even our closest kin might not even know us well, let alone others. For only us we can know ourselves the best.

2 days ago something happened to me, and because of that I came to learn something which I used to know but had never really learned. I cherish my life even more now; I wake up with a smile and say "Thank god I'm still alive for another day." I'm really afraid one day I do not wake up anymore. I used to hate rainy days, I really do. But the next morning after that, I saw the rainy day and inside me, it says "least I could see the rain, those beautiful raindrops." Nothing is more precious than an everyday opportunity to live. Life is so vulnerable that you really do not know when it will just be gone. Instead of living each day with regrets, hates, unhappiness and vexation; I rather live each day with gladness, loves, happiness and ease =) In fact I suddenly learnt how to see the beauty in every flaws. Including someone being "two-headed snake"... thats just the cruelty of how a human must behave in order to succeed in a certain way, and I accepted it. For no one wanted to be in that way too =] in every flaws there is a story that has its beauty.

Oh, dont ask me what happened 2 days ago, just believe me I'm fine =] and pray for me I will be okay, in this way I will be grateful and happy enough. And I want to tell all of you I truly love you people even if our memories were bad. Whats the definition for memories? My answer - it is love. Even if we all once hurt each other, even if we all once hated each other, even if we have already parted, the truth is that there was once care and this care is love. <>

pardon me for not being good, for not resting but blogging instead. I promise you I'm going to be okay, I will be okay, I'm positive =P no matter what happen I wont give up hope and I WILL remain positive. know what? In fact because of what happened, I learnt how to love more cherish more and be more positive. I'm really afraid actually. I was scared that I will not be able to see another day. However that was at first, now I'm not really that scare, because I believe I will be okay. I believe if one really had to go it will still happen, theres nothing to be scare of, isnt it? I will be alright =)

[ahvone] - [nothing is more worth than an opportunity to live; I learnt]
-sotong signing off

Such a long week ><"

2006-07-05T21:27:00.000+08:00

A very long week -

This week I have been really very busy, handling with dance classes, rehearsals and of course studies. It is indeed very tiring but still I pulled through =D and I will never give up for this is one way to test myself. Isn't it? I guess many of us are really tired, and this won't be ending any sooner. We just got to pull it through alright? Let's all do our best and I know we all definitely can make it de.

Although this week is a four day week for Monday was a holiday, still it is consider a long week for me. I still need to stay in school till 4.30pm [at least] and nearly 6.45pm, except Friday [still have things to do though]. The time varies =] Oh yarhs. The actual performance is coming soon, on the 14/07 at Simei ITE. I hope the performance will be a successful one =D

Yesterday during dance lesson something quite irritable and disappointing happened. I won't want to mention the whole thing, but I really do hope the juniors can give the least respect to the instructors and teachers. If you people really don't care about respecting the seniors, fine. I wash my hands off for I think it is not worth it. The other seniors are right, it is way too hopeless. I have never seen any dance classes like that before. Oh well I am disappointed of course and I do shed a drop of tear, but that's going to be it. You think we are too hard on you people? You haven't known what call real harshness, because you all have not gone through it before. The next lesson onwards I won't say a single thing for I think you all should learn to respect yourself. The seniors are not the only one that can't stand it, so are the instructors and teachers. If Coach Bai is still here... I guess everything would be different ='( I miss my coach... No matter what I hope the dance club will still be continued even after the seniors graduated =]

Wa... There is this person who is really too much, being a "two-headed snake" for such a long time and still happily be one. I happened to came across with one event today that I know it will be hopeless to try to talk with this person and her companies. Firstly she/they DON'T care for the others feelings and think as thou she is really that great. Secondly she has the cheek to say "because is not worth for me to get angry over these kind of people" when she is the one being pretentious all the while!! Lastly, what she does and says never tallies, is not like she forgets about it, it is just that she says "Aye, never minded it is okay I will pretend nothing happen'. What the shit!! Trying to play the role of "miss nice"... Oh god... Whatever it is I guess I really cant do anything about it for it is not within my reach, and it will be pointless to get frustrated over this kind of people =p

Who say males and females can't be just pure friends?! My male buddies and I is one good example XD Hehes. Tomodachi rawks~~ I love all my buddies all my friends and including acquaintance, I will not hate for hating only make myself even more unhappy. If people choose to be the way they are I will respect it, but don't expect me to acknowledge it =] whatever it is this is the last year so I will want everything to end with no regrets and with fun. Even if I come across people who deliberately want to cause miseries in me, I will not let them obstruct me, I will break through the barriers and carry on with my happy life =D Minna Genki Desu~ Oyasumi!!

[[ahvone]] - [Day7, my condolences zhu... ilu my buddy, do take care]
-sotong signing off

tomodachii [III]

2006-07-02T02:01:00.000+08:00

Just one day[unbearable] -

As time goes by dere will be days tt we look back at our life, izzen it? =] I had mine td. Practically doing nth the whole day n the thot of the past strucked me. I thot of many things, many ppl n of cos my unhappiness.. I realise in the past im so foolish. I didnt noe how to cherish n didnt care enuff for ppl ard me. n took things for granted.. i sorta feel bad.. i really do.

I asked myself : how many friendships were ended, failures had i made, times i had lack determination to excel n i had let go of opportunties. All diff question but 1 ans: countless. In friendships.. prolly there's a long way for me to learn abt many things. In the past i took it as thou it SHOULD be there.. but now i noe if i truely wanna maintain a friendship i needa play a part to put in effort too. Friendships are just like BGRs.. Back then i only knew how to complaint n say negative things of my frens.. but hv i ever tot of my own negative points? prolly not.. I was too selfish.. i didnt noe how to give in n sacrifice for the sake of friendships.. n in the end i paid my price.. i lost them all.. was it tt we're fated to just end there or was it both parties fault who didnt wanna carry on??

I lost many frens but i dare to say out loud, i had only truly let down 1fren.. which is totally just my fault.. tt's christabel.. trust me it was only my fault n myself to blame for this end of our friendship. Cos i didnt noe her well n so i misunderstood her. in the end i was the 1 who cause myself to lose her.. i nvr regret.. just tt i feel remorse.. cos she treated me as a gd fren lk a sister but i hurted her.. all i can say is sorry, but sorry is just a useless word.. izzen it? The price tt i paid of was bigger than just losing her.. i lost alot of frens... tt's natural =] .. as long as now her life is gd, im happy for her.. The rest de friendships tt had been ended, not tt i dun care but is tt.. everyth takes two hands to clap.. for some reasons, ppl tend to listen n trust rumours more than truth.. n when they decided to leave u, the reason they give is, cos so n so told me this n this. n when come to evidence their mouth stuck or give irrelevance reasons.. wat i wanna say is tt cos in the 1st place all of us didnt noe each other well at all, so y pretend to be so? Frens shldnt be lidat.. we shld all be lk sliblings... =] cos of wat i had gone thru abt the gain n lost of friendships... i came to learn wat is call worth to be frens n wat is call "just suppose to be accquaitance".. not every1 in this world can be ur sliblings.. only true frens are worth.. =D

Losing frens is nth gd abt, BUT cos of tt i'd learnt things i nvr knew. n i came to discover another new grp of ppl, diff BUT shares my views n we slowly bcum lk a family.. Tt's life, u lose n gain, n u gain n lose.. in the end wat u truely gain is a lifetime experience. There will be times tt are painful, but when u look back u will smile n say.. "least i know why it happened". Actually if 1 day u lost a fren cos of misunderstandings, i think is inevitable. Frens come n go, this is true. So the only thing we can do is cherish every moments tt we hv for we really dunno when they will end.. literally end or cos of life span.. So.. there is 1 thing i wanna say to all my frens or ex-frens "i luv u n i mean it, im sorry if i ever hurt u. I hv no excuse except tt's life n i accept it. It's painful but without pain i wouldnt hv grown. Thank u for all those moments given, they will 4ever remains in my soul."

I guess there wun be a day whereby i wun care abt frens, cos im still learning how to cherish n luv them lk my own family. I really learnt alot in the past 5yrs.. i really do.. bad encounters but precious memories.. i wun hate ppl who backstab, blame me for smth that wasnt my fault, who are 2headed snake in front of me or "fake". cos of these presences i learnt to cherish even more n loved more unconditionately. Unfortunate events which are in fact a blessing in disguise ^ - ^

Now short term goal is to be really hardworking n excel lor. I will still come by to blog, for being busy is not an excuse. Time management is the criteria =p No matter how much work i hv i will still blog cos i noe many ppl do read my blog, frens or not frens. the popularity is not the issue, the concern is : i hope i inspires n hv make ppl realise things they hv neglected. *ridz told me my blog is in the top 20 for most readers/popularity.. hahas. i wonder izzit true, but oh well if any1 who pass by my blog appreciate my thots, tt will be gd enuff =D* ty to all reader to spend ur time here. Best wishes to every1. gdnite.

[[ahvone]] ; [Because u never knew tt's y u will noe one day]
-sotong signing off

...

2006-06-30T16:00:00.000+08:00

Term3 of school reopen -

Song on blog :
Genre - English[soothing]
Artist - Celin Dion
Title -Because you love me
*Hovers over the song title and save target as =p enjoy~~*

WOOOTS~~ sch reopen le wor. OVERALL is still considerably very fun lahs. Just tt certain things make me not too happy, but i will just ignore it for they are not worth my care =p Save up my energies for buddies better. To me sch now very fun.. prolly cos the time left for me n my buddies to hang ard everyday in class n hv fun is cosiderably short. n i noe we might not hv the chance to meet each other after we graduated. Tt's y i cherish n care for them so much, cos they're my tomodachi... =]

MONDAY
1st day of sch was kinda alrite. n we started to learn intergration math.. i can feel de pressure of math~!! HELP ARGHS~!! Rofl. Most of the teachers are very gd to us, give us allowance to hand in holiday hw. kekes. But still alot of US[includes me =x] nvr hand in de lah. usual case. 1st welcome hw was mdm HOSH's.. pretty nice welcome back hor.. hahas. bo bian lahs, math need alot practise can understand. And i found a canto radio station 95.40fm WHEEE~~ althou it is a mixture of canto n mostly chi + some other language de radio station, i still luv it. As long hv canto n nice nice songs jiu hao. Now this is my fav radio station =D

TUESDAY
1of my favourite day of the wk, cos hv dance practise~ wheee~ happy happy. hehes. But i was havin headache tt day thx to in focus =x But i manage to make it. hahas. Oh ya, there is this female teacher call ms lee, quite chio wor. Think some of the guys in my class are gg to bcum wolves liao. hahas. But indeed she kinda pretty, esp when she smile. During PE was health check, n it shucks~ cos i dun like it. I nvr grow tall ~5555555~ sadded. for 4yrs i had only grown 6cm. Oh my~ i think i wun grow any taller, but im growing more horizontal FAINTS~ Tt'y i am thinkin of going for joggin liao. But i couldnt find any1. =( sianed.. hais. I wan go joggin who willin to go with me in de early mrn neh?? =

WEDNESDAY
Wah this is my SUAY + HENG day =.=" Early in the mrn late for sch cos wait bu dao bus. zzzz. kkz i admit i was slightly late for 2mins for my normal time. I didnt overslept, just manage de time wrongly =x Ne way, the suay thing is tt i got onto de bus n dere was this abit lunatic n abit pervert de 17-19 yrs old de guy was looking at me when i boarded de bus. From the look, noe he not normal liao, so i pretend nth happen. Then i wanted to alight the bus, he said "hey ger, come over and sit here with me". i was like wat the shutt, im already irritated by being late then let me meet till this kind of person. FAINTS~ n so i pointed to the door indicating im gg to alight. zzz. even i not alighting i also wun go norhs. Obviously. But he has mental prob, jiu suan le bahs =] another suay thing is kana stained with greeny thingy on my shirt. diaos.. But i was heng afterall, i almost lost my purse then this counsellor returned to me TYTY~ hahas. n thou i was late it wasnt being recorded down =X i wonder y but oh well, im glad tt it is not recorded. HAHAS!! oh ya, assembly was super nice, to me lahs. Abt dance the history n abt how those last time de dance steps changed into current ones. Interestin n i must say, they really danced well =D Rehearsal was ok, not too tiring but smth was in my mind then i was sian sian de. But im alrite now, nicola dun worry =] overall the rehearsal was well done~ 3cheers n 3cheers n 3cheers to all performers!!

THURSDAY
Nth much in particular except keep on hearing the rumbles of ppl who lk to pretend here n there. *Irritating.. n it makes me fuming!! sians i just simply detest it!!* Yupp sorta 2headed snakes. Last time wonder y these kind of ppl so "popular".. now i understand.. cos they are absolutely completely intelligent with words, changing them n the situations to their own benefits n will turn the other side ard n pretend like they nvr say those things b4. No wonder they are so particularly "loved" n "popular". grats grats *claps* . cos i dun hv such ability so grats to this kind of ppl who are able to do it. But 1 reminder, wat goes round comes abt. I will just pretend n ignore i dunno anyth. kekes. Ignorance is bliss hor =X I hv more things to care abt n tolerance brings a person much more further.. lalalalala- * addition things is abt zhu, ar zhu, wait har.. later then write msg to u =x * oh ya, this day was fan ye n gabriel b'day =] happy b'day dudes, best wishes.

FRIDAY[today]
Td quite alot ppl took O lvl MT oral. Hopefully de examinars all gave them gd grades =D then they can score high high. Hmm td i wasnt feeling too gd. =\ partially cos of zhu tt thing, partially cos of those peeps, i just hated ppl to gossips can? n 2headed snakes. can any1 advise me anyth?? i sorta dunno wat to do except ignore, but ignore also hv a limit de mahs.. esp there is this person who told me the other person everyth de bad things, then now still stick to tt person lk wat lidat. 1 hand say dun wan to be with tt person. then other hand get back to sch also de same wat. ultimate 2headed snake. wateva lahs.. im sianed le.. least im glad, i hv my buddies whereby we will nvr do tt. not lk some ppl lidat. lower sec tt time still tot tt person is gd.. i really eyes got stamp.. least i noe early. since the day tt person decided to walk out n dun trust me.. i shld hv seen everyth clearly. The person noe wat goes round comes abt, still doesnt learnt the lesson... i hope 1 day the person can really change.... even thou now i dislk the way the person de actions.. but oh well.. i not evil to curse.. is pointless =] alrite.. tt's this week de STUFF =p

ZHU : i noe this yr has been a very hard yr for u.. many things happened consecutively.. almost letting u outta breath.. but i noe u sure able to stand up again de lor. lk i said, convert all this things into ur strength =] .. n 1 thing, dun ever say things like "i dun wan my mood to affect u".. wo ke hui fan lian ne... i dunno y ur emotions will affect me, but for 1 thing, i care cos u're my fren. If u keep ur feelings, i will be really upset.. cos u hv 4get abt me as ur confidante XD... so dun be afraid tt ur mood will affect me.. cos is not ur fault, im just an emotional ger.. tt's all. Our days left are so limited. After graduate really dunno will still contact not.. hv a feeling most prolly not. Tt's y i cherish every moments with u n of cos all my buddies. I said b4 le lor.. of all buddies, u're the one i loved most. my beloved fren... cos u are just diff... very diff... tt i hv nvr seen b4.. DUN too gan dong wor =x wakakakas. n dun say er xin, cos is de truth!! ><" n rmb, infront of me no need act tough cos there isnt a need to do so. I wun laugh at u or wat de... is normal alrite... so in front of me, u can just be urself =] Noe wat.. i came across this phrase "True frens are sliblings which God separated." so smhow we are family =D cos u are u. hahas. u ar.. take gd care of ur health. skip ur meals smmore n i will bite u!! .. rmb dun always just care abt others then 4get abt urself alrite. n.. ni shi hao de =] for now just lidat.

alrite alrite. this entry i noe super duper long, cos is a wk's entry XD kekes. for those nvr read de, nvm lahs. i understand. my life also nth interesting =x except to myself. lalalalala~ for those who had read, appreciated n really thx for the time spent just to noe my life n my "process" of life! see ya ard~ buaiz!! n i finally blogged -.-" kekes. oyasumi~

[[ahvone]];[indulgenceInMusicEspCanto XD]
-sotong signing off

-blank mind-

2006-06-23T02:39:00.000+08:00

Edited on 24th June 4:01am
It doesnt have to be just sm1 i trusted who lie to me then i have such feelings. These feelings have been lingering with me for a long time.. And that's just my thots. Thots that when i think i feel like crying. Oh well... still i will stay strong and be happy. In btw life is happiness and sadness. I rather go on life with happiness. So this entry for those who had read once, look it in another way. Cos i noe my tots, i wun be fragile i will be stronger =D For those who first time look at this, just rmb that that's my tots and how much i wish to trust u all, cos i love all of u. And at the same time rmb, i will nvr do anyth foolish nor let myself into depression. All these once is enuff so nvr again =] that's all. shall blog later afternoon or evening. Right now gotta slp =x hehes. cya~

_____----------_______----------_______----------_______

I hate lies.
i hate liars.
i hate to be betrayed.
Why izzit always when i trust others
They betray my trust?
Isnt there anyone worth to trust?
Can i just trust sm1 totally?
When i believe and trust,
why must someone sure lie to me.
It's breaking deep down in me.
This doesnt happen once. twice or thrice.
Is it so nice to just fool me?
Is it so fun to betray my trust?
Why do ppl take advantage?
Taking advantage of my kindness?
I didnt ask for repay of my kindness
But.. Dont betray my trust can?
*cries* im really really hurt..
Im losing the faith to trust sm1.
The cuts are deep and had nvr heal,
cos.. the hurt was repeated.
Prolly de same person,
Different person still it makes de same cut.
Im not guilable,
im not a fool
im not stupid.
I just wanted to trust everyone.
cos i believe everyone shld gain trust.
But why why why...
Just cant anyone be really trusted?
*cries* It truly hurts me
Am i the one to be blamed?
Just cos i wanted to trust?
I wan to trust but y must
I also be betrayed?
I had had enuff.
Can just stop treating me like a rag?
I have feelings!! im not dead!!
I have feelings...... *cries*
Why does all those i trusted must betray me.
Why... why... why...
*cries*... ... ...
Can i still trust anyone..
Can i still... trust..
I need someone to hug me right now
And tell me. Yes i can.
Cos in this world trust still exist.
In this generation, does trust really stopped?
I wanna trust ppl.
Dun betray my trust.
It truly hurts, deep right deep in the heart.
*cries*... ... ...

-sleepless nite
[[ahvone]] - sotong signing off

Shin pai nehs~ dakara daijioubu~ GENKI GESU~!!

2006-06-22T23:05:00.000+08:00

FEAR STRIKES -

Guess i had been worrying too much lately tt fears strike me. Im scared n sorta lack the sense of security. tons of quest n fears tt im now speechless. Guess i need some time =] I didnt hv gd slps for 2nites. ytd n 2nites ago.. I had bad dreams. Dreams tt i dun wanna mention[except minz n mummy noe]. thou they are just dream, these 2 are such tt i had nvr encountered. As in i nvr hv such similar dreams b4.. hais. i hope this does not signifies anyth. Thou ppl say tt dreams are just dreams, tt's cos they dun wan face their dreams. Dreams are reflection of life.. So i hope these bad dreams are nth way too bad.. * na mo da bei guan shi yin pu sa, da chi da bei * May things be alrite =]

Zhu. smth wrong with yar too har.. thou u told me u cant say wat izzit. but nvm lahs. just hope u also will be ok lor. today we both cant console or cheer each other up, but we both wanna each other be ok. i understand. =] rest assure i will be ok de lahs. n u too must be ok yar? i dunno y u are disappointed in urself but wanna tell u "Disappointment in oneself does not come from own failure or the lack of ability to do smth right. Disappointment is when u fail to attempt the thing. Even if u feel disappointed dun be disheartened, since u realise then mend on it".

Just now watch Channel U, then there is this discussion on marriage. Abt whether there is a need for marriage cert. n also abt this generation de marriage n divorce stuff. In tt show i really agree quite alot of wat they said. Marriage is no longer just the matter of how de heart feels. Some may cos wanna split daily live cost into half. Ppl nowadays tend to take marriage too lightly. Having marriage as a game n divorce as the end of the game. y cant ppl cherish lehs? Yes there are temptations, but when two person can be tgt, tt isnt just mere chance. Tt's cos of fate. Since at the beginning decided to be tgt le, jiu dun let it end so easily. Say wat character all this not suit is fake de lor, tt's just an excuse. There's no perfection in a couple. Both gotta work hard tgt to be tgt, esp in a marriage. n tt's de beauty of marriage, to bind 2 person tgt, to learn how to love n everyth. As for de "third party", i guess tt's sorta unavoidable in a marriage. Unless u are super lucky? as a woman to be, guess we must all be prepared tt our bf/husband will do tt.. But tt also signifies if ur relation with ur bf/husband is worth to be tgt n how do u all overcome it lor. Somehow.. this kind of thing not easy to avoid even if we dun wanna it to happen.

To all GERS : we gotta be strong no matter in wat circumstances. n nvr do smth which u noe it gotta be wrong. We must hv dignity n respect for ourself. We are born as female for God created us with the strength to overcome difficulties, so dun ever give up on urself. nvr ever =] Just rmb dun ever lie to urself when u are aware of the truth. we gotta make our stand n protect ourself.. gers.. we are meant to be love not hurt.

To all GUYS : Understandable tt guys will easily be tempeted more than gers. Still u had made promises to the ger b4, so dun break it. If one day really will make mistake, rmb it is not easy for u n ur gf/wife to be tgt, think of those hard times tt u 2 gone thru. If u wanna compare ur wife with the third party, think again. U see her negative, but wat abt her positive. Or shld i say, u guys also hv negative but we females just willingly n accept it? DO bare in mind, females are not foolish nor stupid. When we decided to keep quiet is not tt we dont know. It's tt we wanna trust u n tt we believe u will noe how to back out and stop hurting us. When we decided to say nth is not tt we dun care. Tt's cos we had been hurt enuff tt we feel it will be pointless to say anyth anymore. If gers can accept u including ur negative side, y cant guys accept their negative side as well? There is no need to compare, for the range of comparison is too wide.. Just love them, appreciate them and understand them. Tt's y the world is born with both females n males. Cos they are meant to be tgt. Rmb, minimised the hurt tt u will cause to ur gf/wife, for hurt is unavoidable.

Tt's all, may everyone be blessed with love ard the world =] everyth gotta be ok. We may be born weak, tt's y we needa be strong n we will be strong over the time for it nurture us to be so. We will nvr be born strong for there will be times where u are weak. But tt's ok, we are nurtured to become strong. We may be born in btw strong n weak, tt's cos there is room for us to increase our strength to become strong one day. the strength of one mind can be nurture n learn =]

P.S these are my tots, so if u dun like to see a lengthy blog just excuse urself. i understand. thank u~ =] For im glad to be born as a deep thinker =] hehes

[[ahvone]] ; [EntagledThotsIntheRealmOfLove - DoYouUnderstand?]
-sotong signing off

genji genji genji~~

2006-06-21T14:48:00.000+08:00

Fun Laughter.. Peace =) -

Ytd was too lazy to blog, so here i come now. Ytd was kinda fun for me, esp during dance. I really enjoyed those time with my senior, juniors n frens. We all had fun n tt's wat i call "free of worries". we worked as one to complete the dance. We helped one another n all. I noe i gotta miss them pretty much after graduating =] Cos the dance practices in sec sch as compare in poly is kinda diff. Thou im sure there still gotta be fun n enjoyment. But the diff is tt, all of us will be sorta competing who is the better one[tt's always de case]. I dun like those "competition". if wan compete, then work tgt as a whole to compete against another sch. i've dance for nearly 9yrs. I dun wanna give up. Even is just for leisure or fun, i choose to continue my dancing journey. I had already given up my martial arts then.. wanting to pick it up again, is not easy. If now u ask me to choose.. prolly i will chose dancing. althou my heart truely love martial arts more.. i wonder.. do u all understand this kind of dilemma n "struggle".. hahas.. still, if ever i hv de chance.. i will pick up martial arts again =p

Wanted to slp early last nite, but ended up playing PS2 =.= cos bro's fren suddenly came over n say "eh, i've got the PS2, want play or not". DUH -.-" OF COS I WAN~~ MY GENJI~!!! lols. n so.... i played all de way from 11.30pm - 4am =x oooops... so notty arhs. i indulge in genji~ I love tt 3D game, cos de animation was FANTASTIC~~~~~~~ This game is neither too difficult nor easy. If u got the tactics right it is slightly easier, but my bro's fren said tt the last king was the worst of all!! unable to defeat lidat. LOls. i was kinda near to tt stage, but didnt manage to play it ytd. awwww~ wonder when then can see my Genji again.. hahas. Two main reason why i like Genji, the animation totally rawks, and cos is related to japanese =x wakakas XD

hmmm, yea.. tt's abt all. oh ya.. I really hope my class can just be tgt happily, dun cause troubles. Like one after another lidat. this yr had enuff probs le, it's end ya? Is like this is our last yr.. just live thru it happily instead of having loads of porbs n unhappy rite.. i just hope the class can be more understand towards each other. lidat i will jiu be very happy le =) and i guess so will everyone. all the best guys~ let's make it tgt for the last yr!! yoshii~~~!! buai buai..

Pictures of Genji~

[[ahvone]] ; [animation rawks my world]
-sotong signing off

SCHOOL RUMBLE~~

2006-06-20T01:58:00.000+08:00

Today is a nice and pleasant day =D -

LOls, actually now consider "next day" le, cos its midnight liao. Nvm abt that. Today nth unpleasant happened. 3 burdens down my shoulders. Zhu de thingy okay le, my pal de also ok liao. Then my as close till nvr part de ger fren also ok liao. It is already a great load off my shoulders le. Now i just pray that my last burden will be fine and may this thing may nvr be disclose *pray hard*

SCHOOL RUMBLE RAWKS~~ kekes. it is so damn funny XD must watch must watch, cos it will makes ur day! way too hilarious. hehes. im loving school rumble. Esp the ending song and the main character Tenma~!! She so cute and innocent lahs. And her sister yakumo has de ability to read ones mind. so amazing. sugoii~!! animation rawks =D <3<3<3>

Just now went to "blogthings" to take quite a few quizzes. Actually cos wanted to just play with zhu, exchange and see how many same lor. we both very lame de lahs. hahas. Actually de quizzes afew quite true lahs, but also alot craps. cos de questions asked weird weird de .. zzz. but nvm lahs. it was fun, cos it was lame =X .. zhu, i think we too similar le lahs *faints* ... prolly that's y we are confidants yar? hahas. maybe~ but oh well... still dun really noe u uttery. one day will de bahs. i guess... hehhehs

Asians really not very open abt huggings oh? hmmm maybe lahs. But huggings are gd wat? as in if u hug sm1 who lack of security, that person will feel nice de lor. Hugging is a kind of therapy. If sm1 needs a hug, u shld hug them unconditionally. =] Hugs are not like kisses wat. kisses are way too special, as in lips to lips that kind. Kiss cheeks are ok lahs. that's the show of affection and care lor. Lips to lips is diff le =] to me that kind can only give to signifcant other bahs.. next time grow up jiu hiu understand le. bu shi mahs? hahahas. k lahs. kinda late liao, tmr needa go dancing. wheeeeeeee~ cya guys. lalalalalalalalalalalalalala~ oya~sumi!!

[[ahvone]] ; [[onna no ko . otoko no ko . la la la la la ~]]
-sotong signing off

2006-06-18T23:01:00.000+08:00

HAPPY FATHERS DAY -

Music on blog:
Genre - Jpop
Artist - Utada hikaru
Title - First Love
Theme song of - Majo no jouken

First thing first, wanna say "happy father's day" to all fathers in the universe =) . And i love my daddy~ hehes. This yr nvr really celebrate father's day. cos daddy needa work. Haiyo he sick nehs. i hope he get well soon >_< .

Second thing is wanna thx DINE for making this blog skin for me. Now this blogskin BELONGS TO ME ME ME AND ME. wakakakaks~!! takki takki takki~~ LOls. so happy! now my blog so nice =D to me lahs. cos it is takizawa hideaki LONG ZE XIU MING~!! heees.

wah, td do chemistry do wrongly. Went to do in book instead of foolscape -.- luckily discovered early. if not jiu cham >.<" haaas. Still have alot hw not done yet. zzz. hais. no mood to study lidat. cham liao lahs~..

Hmmm today everyth seems to be kinda peaceful and alrite bahs. nth much. so nth to blog also. jiu lidat lor. may everyone be happy yar.. =) once again, thx dine!! =p nitey~~

[[ahvone]] ; [more and more horizontal *FAINTS*]-sotong signing off

Aishiteru minna+tomodachi!! [ 2 ] =)

2006-06-18T02:31:00.000+08:00

Be prepared for a long entry -

Just now went to eat with my mum n smth zzz happened. we order the food n de person 4get. so we waited for 35mins instead of 10mins *faints* lols. mum was kinda frustrated, but was ok afterall =) smhow feel tt the pace of life nowadays are so fast tt humans 4get to appreaciate the beauty of life n nature. Wat a sad thing =( .. i wonder y did the world bcum lidat, as thou we are living human robots. Mum n i feel tt human will soon be walkin robots. n i feel tt ppl will slowly lose their passion, emotions n love. Who knows.. Just really a sad thing to be mention. I really do hope the wonderful feelings can be returned to all humans. I still believe there is love n appreciation in this universe =]

Ytd went out with huiying jie, was kinda fun. the fun was not abt wat we did or wen, it's just being tgt. With her no matter wat we do or headin to, is the happiest time for me. I luv u huiying jie. n Xin yi jie, im so sorry 4 not being able to meet u, cos it was really too late. there will be another chance whereby we can meet up yar. n visit u at ur hse XD n.. really sorry 4.. anyth. =] just stay happy yar. n dun keep things inside ur heart wor. not gd for health. can always talk to me or huiying de nehs~~

NOW is abt my frens de liao. cos of wat happen to them, they indirectly affected me. 1st 2 news were my 2 besta frens, 1 s close s sista, 1 so close tt we wun part, are entangled in a triangle relationship. u ask me watta do? The s close s sista de relation, i noe all 3. 2 of them my closest. I dun wanna see either of them gettin hurt / part cos of this matter / bein hated by 1 / unhappy. Thou can say " it's ok i dun blame u cos we are gd frens".. but the truth is.. there will sure gotta be 1 who is unhappy. n im afraid smth bad might happen. I cherish both of them, i dun wish to lie either. But wat can i do... i cant do anyth. Prolly im selfish bahs, i dun wanna lose either of them. n i dun wan the truth to hurt my another close fren... I really hope the guy can just dun lk my s close s sista de fren. I dun wanna part with either of my ger frens. i dun wan..As 4 another ger fren.. She is bein loved by 2 guys at the same time, but she loved 1 of them more. yet another 1 treat her better, she knows. Hopefully she noe wat is best 4 her. since we also talked le... i really hope she is now fine. Ppl say it is blessed to be loved. But does ppl noe tt smtimes it also has agony? Now i think im even blessed.. even im not loved by any guys yet.. least im not entangled in this kind of mess. least not now.. =] moreover.. the guy i kinda lk.. s long s he is safe n sound.. happy.. bein loved by a ger who is able to be with him.. im happy enuff. For there is a specific reason y i cant lk him. still... i just pray 4 him in silence =] luv is unconditioned.. n.. luv doesnt means must be tgt. They can be not tgt but still give the same kind of care. guess tt's gd enuff. isnt it? =)

Another is the "guy" i used to like actually got angry over 1 of my gd pal just cos he ask de "ger" if "he" n "her" are couple or rather lk each other. n the "guy" got angry. 4 the "guy" smhow gotta noe abt the things that my pal asked the "ger". Oh gosh. i cant imagine how can a guy be so petty. Lidat also must angry till scold my pal mehs? so petty, dun be a guy lahs, be a ger lor. If u dun lk ppl to ask abt u n "her" then jiu dun make things so obvious mahs. Afraid n detest then still make things so obvious. u can ask abt others bgr things, then others cant mention abt a single thing of urs mehs? u needa widen ur acceptance of the heart lor. n grow up lahs.. If u keep on lidat, will only hurt those ppl ard u. n u will also lose ppl who truely wanna be ur close frens. Does everyth tt comes out from "her" mouth tt "gr8" tt u needa lose ur cool? this is absurb lahs! u lk "her" we can understand. But pls rmb, u needa keep ur cool n think things thoroughly ok? ppl care tt's y they ask. Ppl treat u as a fren tt's y they wanna noe abt ur stuff. Is not tt my pal is a kpo alrite? he just perceive the quest in a wrong way, tt's y u think he wanna "exchange secrets" with u.. grow up lahs. Luckily. my pal now already noe how to make his stand, im glad for tt. n i really hope this matter will end. Smhow i feel tt u are getting more n more ridiculous. so timid of letting ppl noe ur "secret" then dun be so obvious, cos the truth is u leak out ur own. think every1 so kpo arhs. U think every1 so free to noe ur stuff arhs. it was u who arouse every1's attention. think of ur actions b4 frustrating wateva u are unhappy on others / my pal. Dun cos u personally having a bad day then hurt ur frens. thank you very much SIR!! Truely hope u think abt wat i told u! *im glad i didnt luv u anymore, cos thinkin back, i only see my silliness n.. im disgusted by ur actions.. Must thx my buddies for making me realise this.*

My closest Zhu.. Again.. vex, frustrated n sad over his cousin thingy.. im sadden by how he reacted. Zhu, i really dun mind u vendin ur frustration on me, cos i understand how u feel. u dun wan ur luv ones to be hurt n u wish u could help more, to change things. I understand i really do. n i really wanna let u noe im will always be right here to accompany ur journey cos i care.. I care 4 u more than just a closest fren. Cos i really care 4 u. I dun lk to see my closest fren being hurt. i really dun.. there are certain things when i explain to u, u dun get it. But tt's ok, i just wan u understand 1 thing afterall, I care 4 u n supports u. Im sure u noe wat u are doin. But bare in mind. dun overly do things tt u 4get abt urself ok? rmb wat u promise me... =] u are 4ever my more than just a closest fren. We are confidants.. rmb? Things will surely hv a way out. dun be overly depressed over those matters.. There sure gotta be a reason for everyth tt happens... cheer up kz =]

Basically these are the major things tt affected me. n im kinda sad abt all these things. my closest frens.. yet i seemed unable to do anyth. The 1st situation i needa keep a secret to prevent her from gettin hurt, which is not wat i wanna do. I hate to tell lies.. i really hate.. cos i hate liars. yet i needa do so[noe how i feel?]. I wish i nvr noe this secret.. The 2nd situation, im sadden tt i used to luv such a guy, i was so dense in the past.. Luvin lk a fool when i dun even noe him well. n im tt he reacts lidat just cos of tt "ger". which is not mature. I dunno wat he had turned into or was he allways lidat but i didnt noe?.. But 1 thing for sure.. i nvr wanna noe abt his stuff anymore. Is not my business. I respect him as a fren, but if he step into my boundary.. i will give no mercy either.. For the last situation, yar i like this fren of mine, as in i admire him. Cos he is very caring towards his luv ones. But im sadden when my he doesnt look after himself.. I cherish all my frens, n seeing them get hurt is as gd as hurtin me.. Zhu.. do take care yar. we are 4ever gd confidants, tt's wat we promised too =]

Alright it's really getting late. I needa go too. May sm1 really care read this entry.. n understand how much i really luv them.. how much i care for them n how they can affect me.. Hopefully sm1 cares to read this entry.. n 1 thing i must say, I LUV MY BUDDIES N FRENS.. u all noe who u are.. =] im glad tt once in this lifetime i gotta noe u peeps, if there is next life i wanna be frens with u all again =) Im not blessed with a guy who loved me lots for now. But im blessed with gr8 ppl surrounding me. Im contented enuff.

[[ahvone]] ; [[Aishiteru minna]
-sotong signing off

CARS!! lightning mcqueen. awww~

2006-06-16T01:56:00.000+08:00

It was tiring But kinda fun =) -

Today went for eng seminar. I almost overslept again =X i didnt manage to get up at the time i wanted to. cos i turned off my alarm. haaas. luckily still in time to go for eng seminar. The journey to the anditorium was nth, cos i was too tired to speak with hidayah they all [so sorry >_<] And some of my frens had actually almost gotten lost =X BUT THEY MADE IT!! WHEE~~ + phew~! the first half of the talk was boring. But kinda efficient thou. The second part was kinda interesting. Cos the lecture interacts more with the audience. And all of us hv a gd laugh. HAHAS!! he was very funny, actions speech and everyth.

On the way back to tampines, met jeremy. And i was being di siao and crap upon by him. He is such a.. zzzzz. Not scolding him, just speechless of words =p But he kinda funny lahs. very lame. Then cos i already very blur + tired le. then his di siao-ing made me even blur. gosh. it was paiseh plus zzz-ness. haaas. I was scattered with some of my frens at the mrt train, cos it was full at one of the door enterance, so we needa run to another door enterance. LOLs.

Went back to tampines to watch the movie "CARS" with chengda, tinghuang, daniel and yongli. LOls. there are all my good frens and buddy =] . At first really dunno wanna go watch anot. cos no gers along. abit.. weird.. but oh well, forget it. They are my tomodachi after all. and really thx for asking along, cos the movie rawks~!!

Before the movie starts, i wanted to go to the washroom, then this aunty of a choco stall seller stopped us. *SHOCKED* at first she wanna us to buy choco from her. But we really no money liao. then she say, "then u all look so free, help me exchange gifts from de stall". I was like, orh okays, sure no prob. Since needa wait for the time to watch movie mahs. Lols. I kinda forget my fren and buddy, then in the end, they also accompany me help de aunty =] ty. She gave us some chocos. one lucky draw thingy and even wanna gimme one of the gifts. But i declined and ran off. saying it's ok, thx. Lols. the aunty was funny and kinda... kind.. hope her business is doing well =]

The movie "cars" is very touching, funny and enjoyable. love it lots. =) and the ending song "Find yourself" is so nice =] shall make it as my blog music one day. wakakakkas!! alrite. gotta end here. nites!

[[ahvone]] ; [I saw them n was kinda hurt, but time causes hurts to fade]
-sotong signing off

DUN FALL SICK PLS!! >_<

2006-06-14T21:19:00.000+08:00

Almost fall sick -

Wheee~ tmr gg to the english seminar thingy. lols. hope it will be fun and let's hope the talk is not too boring =X . Bad hair days are finally over. kekes. Cos i went to cut my hair. Hmm dun say i act cute, cos i didnt noe this hairstyle will turn out to be wat they so called "cute". althou i think is not really that lahs. just look very bubbly?? lols. i very long nvr cut fringe. hehes. i hope dun be kana laugh at too much >_< day ="D

Oh my. i really nearly fall sick, or in fact i think im falling sick kinda soon. i hope dun fall sick. this few days few that is very cold, even when not raining. And then very very tired lidat. sob. dun wan fall sick lahs. zzz. Anyway i hope my frens dun fall sick as well, cos some of them already having slight fever or wat de liao. may everyone be healthy and happy =)

Haven really do alot of homework. die case. hais. im so mad at myself. cos y wun i just be good and start to do my work already?!! im really mad and disappointed at myself =' hais.. may things change for de better pls.. alright. that's all for tonite yar. take care guys!! *YAY! later have project runaway <3>
TAKKI CHIBI ANIMATED *venus cha cha~
[[ahvone]] ; [ i love my hair but they look so dry always = ]
-sotong signing off

2006-06-12T22:32:00.000+08:00

Sunny days my happy days =D -

Woot~ today de feeling is not too bad. so far nth too good or too bad. Just normal. If my days are always so peaceful i will be so contented. I dun ask for lots of colors in life. I just wan white, blue and green. Those colors that can let me relax and feel peaceful =) Anyway today mrn when for Lit seminar. Kinda fun lahs. as in the journey, NOT the talk >_< zzz ="X

MDM YASMIN RAWKS!! lols. she gave a small small so called "speech" at the seminar thingy. she impressed the man of the seminar talk. wahahahahs!! 3 cheers and 3 cheers and 3 cheers for mdm yasmin!! =D then me and shiping so sians in the bus that we keep taking pics. just for fun. then i di siao jeremy that he very "zhi lian" cos he also taking pics =X then he say he was just trying the phone. LOls. so... fake... WAKAKAKS =X .. anyway we are vain ppl cant blame. hehes..

Whee~~ just came home not long from family outing. as usual. very happy and contented. have so much fun =D And.. i bought alot of things again. haaas. if im rich i sure very vain.. and always buy alot of things =X .. sorry lahs.. i just like to look nice.. haas. even shiping also says "gers like to look nice wat".. really mahs. also dunno hu hai one. who ask guys nowadays only look at looks. later gers cant get married also them to be blame >_<>

Yay this thurs going to english seminar with some classmates. so happy. cos is de last yr le =] just a pity cant be with most of the classmates lahs. I hope can make it fun. i really hope. cos is de last yr. probably also even our last outing? or maybe one of the few outings.. =] i think i gonna miss everyone much.. haaas.. i pray that the outing will be fun.. Oh ya! fri also gg out. so long nvr make-up i hope my make-up skill no slack or drop =X .. for months i nvr put hor. hehes. fianlly got one day can.. ya, i noe i vain. pardon me =D alrite gtg for now. buaiz. have a good slp everyone. *off to drink bacardi* buaiz~!!

[[ahvone]] ; [ty zhu tou]
-sotong signing off

Aishiteru Minna!! =)

2006-06-11T22:09:00.000+08:00

Rainy days im sad -

Music on blog:
Genre - Cantonese
artist - Xu zhi an + Chen hui shan
Title - ku kou liang yao

I've changed the song of my blog "nostalgia" to this, due to the sudden remove of tt link. Since i dun feel nostalgic as much anymore, so i change to this canto song norhs. hehes. sorry arhs. some of u didnt get to listen to tt song. But nvm, this is just as nice, or even nicer? hehhehs. Canto songs are very nice de norhs. n this 1 very meaningful. It's a love song =]

Sians, tmr needa wake up early to go for the lit seminar thingy. my slp time. haiz. nvm lahs. Sians. My revisions keep stuck half [not really half >_<] way, im really start to scare le. sm1 help me arhs!! T.T im starting to feel a bit down again. My mood hadnt been so gd lately. I dun feel like thinking, i dun feel like doing anyth, n worst of all.. i dun hv appetite.. hais.. Im tired. im really tired.. sorta got the feeling of depression again, but i hope not. haiz. nvm.. i guess i will be ok soon. hopefully.. =\

This season is just not my days.. not my mood. not my everything. i dun like it.. im feeling bad.. but everyday still hafta goes on. I just wish sm1 would tell me "i love u" even is just as a fren / companion / confidant. yea.. i hate to be lonely. I like quiet moments/time of being alone. But being too alone with too much of quietness. im afraid. who understand? wateva lahs.. friends who come across my blog, gimme some time. i will try to get back to my normal self =D

homework homework and more homework. Revision and revision and still revision. zzz.. i wan more breaks more rest. cos everyone needed them badly =X hahaaas.. k lahs. need an early nite. goodnite my frens. i love all of u. maybe things arent tt negative yar? least.. i still hv my tomodachi to warm me in the cold seasons =] * jie see u this fri.. oyasumi! slp tite everyone!!

[[ahvone]] ; [[Aishiteru minna!! Aishiteru tomodachi!!]]
-sotong signing off

I really destest rainy seasons

2006-06-11T00:49:00.000+08:00

Confusions and fears -

Is it due to the rainy days tt affect my mood or is there just certain things tt stir my feelings? I wish i noe n can get rid of them. I hv 2negative emotions today, confuse n scare.. ='

Confuse: Why i cant just be a gd gd ger dun care abt whether izzit lk the person a not? Now i very confuse. I dunno. I really dunno. I dunno if tt is call like? funny ehs? i suddenly dunno how to tell wat is like anymore. hahs.. haas.. hahahas... Too sudden le, i also cant accept it. Let alone if he noe? i really afraid tt later even frens also cant. I just wish for this feeling to go away. really. I noe he dun wanna me like him also. Cos it is really better to be just frens. Really i really just wanna be frens. why must this prank happen? it's 1 of the greatest joke!!! >_<>.<" yi ding mei shi de har.. mei shi mei shi...

Fear: Im afraid i will drift apart with 1 of my jie. We gotta noe each other cos of bball. Now i decided to let go bball for personal reasons... i really... afraid 1 day i n her will drift apart. Cos i scare our communication will hv a gap[esp i dun really like to hear "bball" this word cos it really contains too much unwanted unhappiness. too much hurts. too much too much things. tt im afraid to face it again].. i dunno. im just afraid. Althou she said tt it wun n also tt we had also said no matter wat happen we will still be tgt de. True lahs. but im really afraid... Maybe i've been worrying too much lately. I guess everyth will be find yars? =) I really love my jie.. i really do. hopefully god dun break us up. We had made a lifetime promise. We wanna make it true. Please please dun break us up... n i think im too vexed / paranoid lately. stupid weather !! grrr~~!! haiz. really sorry jie, to think of this kind of thing >_<. aishiteru huiying nee-san =D

Wooot~~ i realise some korean songs also can be really nice de lors. Like the "she is" from de kdrama "my lovely sam-soon". really very nice. Like tt song alot. very soothing. Just now also search back alot of canto songs. wheee~~ nice nice.. happi happi hehes ~ =)) I just wanna be happy. Study learn achieve n happy... im afraid of alot of things, maybe no sense of security.. but i will move on.. strong? maybe.. =] recently i n my mum also not in very gd terms again. sad... hopefully everyth will be fine soon. really really hope. . . *pray* gtg for now. buaiz buaiz. nites [sleepless nite for me again]

[[ahvone]] ; [cold cold weather everyone take care wor]
-sotong signing off

he is just plain good =]

2006-06-10T01:15:00.000+08:00

Rainy days my confusion days -

Music on blog:
Genre - Jpop
Artist - Ken hirai
Title - Nostalgia

* finally uploaded this song thou it doesnt refers to my feelin now. Now here it is due to last wk's delay. next wk will post "first love" by utada hikaru. Thou an old song it is an unforgettable one XD
WOOT~!! finally infocus has ended XD BUT there are still loads of hw to be done n next wk needa go for 3seminars. Zzzz. So much hw i wonder how to finish. hais, think i do those 100% sure must hand in de 1st =X hehhehs. Gosh, i think im growing more n more horizontal, sob T_T .. hais. id this goes on i soon will be a pig >.<". Somehow i got tired of food but still needa eat. The more i eat the more i feel horizontal >.<>

I've a fren who helped to brace me up again when i was crestfallen abt "falling outta love". Tt wk he was also in a troubled mind state, but he didnt tell me, in fact he kept it to himself all the while n even help me + listen to my rants. It was until ytd then he release his furstration n pain? to me. I feel abit sad. Cos i feel tt i was so selfish. I didnt think abt if the other person izzit also having an unhappy day. He is helpful n caring, i think. He himself got prob le, still so overly concerned abt his classmate. I really abit shocko.. cos i dunno wat to say. He always stay in the dark, now then i realise this fren.. abit too late but not too late =) Hey, u noe who are u bahs. I hope u dun give urself so much "headaches" le, macham wanna burst le. I hope u leave some time for urself? just take it easy kz =) AND, is u copy me not i copy u!! XD .. zzz ..

Recently watch a kdrama, 1st time watch kdrama. Is a comedy , "my lovely Sam-Soon"(wo de ming zi jiao jin san shun). The ploting very nice n there are very touching scenes + love stories. Awww, 1st time feel tt kdrama is NOT boring. n the songs are also kinda nice - soothing. But i haven find out the titles (n_n).. i recommend this to ppl who like kdramas n also nvr watch kdramas b4 =))

Im so glad tt tonight channel U hv "spirited away". 1 of the best jap animation moive. The storyline so touching~~ n sorta tell the truth of human, eg. one shldnt be greedy, etc. I watched this anime some yrs ago, btw pri 5-6. But it is still worth to watch again. Bring backs memories. hehhehs.

I think i hv lost the ability to noe whether i like a person or not. As in bgr. Ever since then, i lost how to differentiate. Probably im too afraid to FIL.. Ya, there is this person tt opens my door, but i dunno how to describe tt kind of feelin. Somehow now still only like as a friend bahs. I think. I dun wanna scare him, cos like so sudden. but i just hope to be gd frens. tt's all i ask for n nth more. =) really. Cos i noe it gonna be another impossible 1. SO i really just hope to gain another close fren. which is him norhs. WAteva lahs. i also dun wan vex. also dun wan unhappy things. just peace =) i guess he will wanna stay it this way too. wun he? .. haaaas.

K lahs. kinda late liao, really gtg. hehhehs. jap animation rawks my world~~ wooot~~ DAISUKI!!

[[ahvone]] ; [Friendship love is just as great as BGR love =)]
-sotong signing off

Our guardian angel in silence

2006-06-08T18:44:00.000+08:00

Everyone experiences their darkest moment -

This is an inspiration i've got while looking into the sky at nite :

Looking beyond the sky, i feel the calmness, darkness and quietness.
We often compare our darkest moment as dark as the sky, unable to find a path out.
But how many of us could understand the sky other than its darkness?
No matter how dark the sky is, the stars will always accompany it.
Sometimes the presence of the stars are not able to show their most beautiful twinkles,
That may be because they are small.
But no matter how small they may be, they are still the brightest.
They twinkle across the endless and dark sky.
The darker the sky, the brighter they are.
The darker the sky, the clearer they are.
Why dont we see our misfortune in an optimistic way?
There will always be paths for us to choose,
Paths that either let you start ur life "again" and ends your misery,
Or letting you to fall deeper into your own misfortune.
No matter how difficult life it, there will be a path for us.
This path is just like the stars, twinkling in silence, waiting for people to notice them.
They are waiting for people to discover how they bright up the sky,
Enabling everything to be seen clearly.
Darkness does not mean the lost of hopes.
Confusion does not mean the lost of paths.
Just rememeber when life is at the darkest moment, it may also brings an alternative.
The alternative to grow up, and solve unwanted problems.
When it is the darkest moment of ur life,
It also signifies the chance to let you see your life in a clearer view.
Darkest moment is not your despair moment,
In fact it is a chance to wake yourself up.
With the calmness that darkness creates,
Everything could be done in a much easier way
And that adds on to how one will appreciate and understand others.
No matter what, we should all always be opimistic!
Gods love us, they created stars and darkness as our guardian angel.
We are never alone, for there will always be someone there for us.

- written by Juvone

Stars/light, the glimmer of hope =)

Nth much to write, so i decided to put this up to encourage anyone who is facing difficulties, to brace themselves up =) im also reminding myself of how i shld move on with life no matter wat i meet. I hope wat i have written will be able to help some of you. Remember, darkest moment of ur life is not for u to be despair abt. Stay strong, have a clear view, learn from it and move on. Thou it is hard to be done, but im sure u can. Since there are humans who are able to do it, im sure we can all do it, for we are humans. WE are SPECIAL =) that's all for today!! bye bye~~ have a good rest everyone!

[[ahvone]] ; [Thx to Literature, i appreciate and love life]
-sotong signing off

sad case nehs. god bless =]

2006-06-07T23:34:00.000+08:00

Are humans getting more insensitive towards others pain -

Those "shanghai ppl" off to shanghai td le, BON VOYAGE!! hehhehs, all must be happy n take care ar. There's alot of hw n revision to be done, but somehow im still not very ready to start? Cos im still blogging right here. zzzz. I slept from 1.30pm to 4pm, and then stuck at computer again >.< haven study lehs. And so much hw also. I FORGOT TO BUY FOOLSCAPE ALSO.. zzzz sotong.. Anyway i noe y td i seems kinda moody n feeling not too gd, cos it is the day.. zzz hope tmr still able to go sch. Say till sch got 3 things to say =D

1st: finally i was able to reach sch on time for infocus! WOOT~!! 1st time for infocus. Thx to ah da waking me up from my dream. zzzz. actually i wake up le, but still rolling on bed, my mum was like "sighz, u this ger ar".. hahas. But when i woke up earlier than the past few days, she said "OH! u wake up le ar, so early orh".. then i just nod head rub eyes then blur blur head to toilet, lucky nvr bum onto anyth -.- hehes. anyway lucky i got to sch in time. Huee~~

2nd: Im blessed with buddies, to help me pass thru my so called "worst time"... needless to name their names, they all noe who are they =] really, w/o them, my life will not be that beautiful anymore. w/o them, it wun be call "juvone's life". W/o them, i will nvr rmb wat it is call tomodachi. My buddies [ger + boi of cos] are all just so great ppl. Maybe we wun last 4ever or eternal. But the memories, happy moments are for a life time.

3rd: I see hypocrites n more n more insensitive ppl. I sorta sadden by all this lor. i wonder y one human can do these kind of things to another human. I really sorta dun get it. Does it really sastisfy them seeing the pain of others? when ppl scream in agony they feel happy? tt's beyond words to describe.. i dunno wat to say. i just hope n pray de "victim" will pull thru. No matter how hard life is, there will still be sm1 worst than u. In the darkest moment u see the clearess.. i believe =]

Wanna ty sm1 who came my blog read read, but nvr tag b4 de XD k lahs, gtg liao. i suddenly forget got anymore to write mahs. but that's abt it i guess. hehhehs. oyasumi!!

i just wanted peace and smile like this =]

[[ahvone]] ; [[DarkestMoments = ClearessTruth]]
-sotong signing off

im afraid.. i really do. but i will be optimistic =D

2006-06-06T23:20:00.000+08:00

I guess i just need more slp -

Smhow i guess i need more slp, or else i will think of useless stuff again. But i just sorta cant bare to slp early. Maybe the nite is just too peaceful n beautiful to be let go. Or was it tt i still couldnt really let go of certain things or im bothered by certain things? I wish i noe n wish sm1 would ans me. Smhow i just wish sm1 probably a guy? would understand me.. even thou i hv lots of great ger n guy frens, is naturally i would wan sm1 to understand me as a true confidant. Dont u? Hopefully i can got over wateva is sota troubling me, soon enuff =) Honestly, i really luv the nite, way too peaceful n soul calmin. Just LOVE it.

Im afraid..of my eyesight. Just feel tt smth is not right. But i tell myself it is tt im tired so i feel tt my eyes very dry n things i see are abit blurred. Haiz. hopefully nth wrong with them [guess tt's wat bothering me, cos im afraid i will go blind]. Ppl say i hv a pair of beautiful eyes, n wearing specs is a pity. Like shutt i dunno.. but wat can i do? I dun like to wear also mahs. But wat done is done, guess i can only wait till i grow older then do laser treatment.

Td late again, cos mrn feel abit unwell, then jiu late lo. Luckily mdm lim so gd, asked me b4 9.30am reach jiu hao. So i reached at 9am. Luckily ah da msg me, arbo i also drop back to slp. He also late lor, but still reach slightly earlier than me. wat the... zzzz.. nvm. haaas. Just now just chatted with him, he always kana bully by me =X too bad he not those guai lan type, so sorta let me bully le =X wakakaka!! paiseh lor. but he is a gd fren =] Just like andrew n beng, more like andrew i think. They always give me similar opinions -.-" win liao lor.. hahas. tmr dunno he or i wake up 1st, who wake up, then who sms 1st =X maybe both also NVR wake up?! then die .... =.="

I found myself sorta wun allow myself to fall for a christian? not tt i hv opinion abt them, but cos it is kinda impossible bahs. I wun change my belief + religion de mahs. Lidat lor. "just answering a person's quest =p" .. i respect all religious de hor =) alright la, gotta get prepare to slp le. Read bk then orh~ orh~ le =D buaiz!! take care all. oyasumi

A scene in "Yoshitsune" i also watching now!! very nice oh! i guess most of takki's shows are always nice =] Just like him shooOO~ much, i wonder y sometimes. He is nice looking, but still have others also very nice lookin, but only takki is the best to me =] i sorta like obsessed with him =X but i just adore him lahs. zzzz. Aww takki look so sad in this pic.

[[ahvone]] ; [DAISUKI TAKKI!!]
-sotong signing off

明天会更好。我相信　＝）

2006-06-05T22:52:00.000+08:00

SATOMI HAKKENDEN -

Im indulgin n addicted to "satomi hakkenden" a jdrama starring takizawa hideaki ~ *eyes shinin brightly* LOLs. I feel tt satomi hakkenden sotry line has a deep meanin. Not only is the fighting scene nice, so is de story line and actors[esp TAKKI] + actresses. Actually is abt 8dog warriors[their name have inu blah blah blah] tryin to save a clan. This clan was being curse by a woman with hatred. The she cursed the princess and the princess sacrifice herself to save her clan partially, still the curse goes on. On her death, she sorta gave birth to 8warriors, which in fact at first was the curse. The princess believe this 8dog warriors will save their clan. The drama is far more interestin than my describtion. Anyway is a short drama, lasting only abt 4hrs. Hopefully u all will like it =D

In sch i was able to at least say bye bye to "him". I guessed is kinda a gd start to end off the past =) n i think im really alrite le. Now kinda carefree bahs. I THINK.. Wonder this carefree feelin will last how long. Hopefully till O lvls end. Lols. Cos meanwhile i hope to hv peace. Ah~ really feel like stayin in a peaceful place n live there 4ever. Somehow, i feel tt the city is kinda too complex for me. hahas.. shall see abt it.

Geez~ the a maths is not easy lor. SOB!! i dun really noe how to do. Just now try try, only like can do two quest out of 4. zzz. Haiz. really gotta buck up le, but it is so sians to study subjs tt i dun like. However gotta be positive lahs. LEft a few mths n with the cert i can go n study the things i really want norhs =D OH YA!! GRATS WEI-QI!! hehehes. happy jiu hao =)
I kinda feel tt even thou sm1 has gd teletaphy with u doesnt means tt is the ideal person to be with bahs. Things are always diff as we tot to be[i guess]. I dunno. hahas. Meanwhile just wanna treat every guys as buddies n gers as my gd pals =D OH YEAH~ i cant wait to go out with huiying jie lahs~~ n i gonna flood her hp!! wakakakakas!! alrite lahs. Not feeling too sober, needa rest soon. buaiz!!
"satomi hakkenden" - 8pearls are the symbols of the son that the princess gave birth too. each pearl has a meaning.

Satomi princess(pretty yar) just gave birth =)

Inuzuka Shino(TAKKI!!) talking to Satomi 2nd princess.*cant find her de nice nice pic yet.
WOOT~~ gonna fight soon. Cos of the Tono misundestood him.

Last pic~ TAKKI as the Filial son =)

[[ahvone]] ; [[I just want peace ; Let me appreciates it]]
-sotong signing off

好啦!!!! 开心~

2006-06-04T17:43:00.000+08:00

Feeling energetic and super fine XD -

AWwwww~~ blog cant post in chinese de, zzzz nvm nvm train my singlish~~ =X Lols, anyway Im considerable totally fine le lohs, tmr will be the "first time" seeing them again. hehhehs, i guess everyth gotta be alrite de bahs. lalalas~ we all gotta be positive n happy, arbo life will be so mizerable yea? I believe everyth will hv a gd outcome as long as we pull thru n be optimistic.
So far now online is got tok to him lahs, but also nth much. Basically all craps, cos also dunno wat to tok mahs. so zzzz de. But wateva lahs, at least can be NORMAL frens, least there will be no regrets upon looking back ^-o-^ hehehs.

Just headed to buy some chocolates again. i realised tt no matter is happy or sad i also like to eat chocolates, gosh, i gonna gain pounds. zzzz wateva lahs, happy jiu hao =X . hmmm so far nth much to blog le. I just wish for everyth to hv a positive outcome n may i be having such a lighty feeling all de way =D.

Anyway i haven been study lately, oh gosh, tt's shutty shutty shutty shutt!! LOLS. hmmm hmm hm must start liao i guess, arbo my life will be very cham le!! lols. Since now having gd feelings, shld be able to put down my steps n start studying le lorhs. i guess! buaiz buaiz!! may everyone have a nice day, or least make it nice! P.s oh ya huiqian went to desaru lehs. hope she have a gd time over there. hahas!! *-wheee~~ tonite have sandwiches to eat!! XD

MUST smile like takki and treat others with care like milk~~ =D
[[ahvone]] ; [[TAKKI~~ suki desu]]
-sotong signing off

已经好多了 =))

2006-06-04T02:44:00.000+08:00

Konban wa I shld be really alrite le =) -

Hello td very late then blog cos was doing smth from evening till now. Oh ya, now my friendster so cool XD cos full of takki stuff lols. here is my link http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=4318387 . hv time pls pass by oh tyty!! En, after ytd nite drinkin, td feel alot better n i guess i really gotta be ok le lohs. just now even got chat abit with him but the feelin now is just as a normal fren.

Also told "her" tt i do not hate her. they are my honest words. Upon looking at the only photo tt i took with her, i sorta miss those time. n i really do wish to be her fren, but smhow smth wrong with me, i just couldnt get along with her even w/o "his" presence. I wonder y.. this is kinda saddening to me.. i hope she n him is alrite as well =)

In sch i will try my best to at least say hi to him + her, but gimme me some time. cos it is not easy to speak smth after so long nvr tok face to face [for him] , as for her, it is not pretty difficult, she is not those petty kind de. haaas.

Smhow lettin him go, i feel much more better. probably in the past i had been to stubborn to hang on. Now tt i've let go, i can start to move on again, wun stay "unmove" 4ever le =D Maybe now i can really focus onto the things i wanna do w/o for not much distractions le xp hahas.
One last thing, i really wish u both the best, n im really ok liao, may every1 hv a happy ending. Now is time for me to re-explore again. Im on my way to achieve the things i wanna do. Everyone let's jia you n jia you bahs~!! *nvr knew it was so gd to let go, now i dun lose anyth, in fact i gain alot of things*

^Takki forever that charming =) aishiteru
[[ahvone]] ; [DAISUKI TAKKI]
-sotong signing off

嗯．．真的放手了．．我会更开心 =) 一定会!

2006-06-03T01:16:00.000+08:00

New start new life I will be better -

Music on blog:
Genre - soothing
Title - Brave soul [OST of satomi hakkenden]
By - S.E.N.S

Just changed my blogskin, well not really change lahs, just change to my beloved TAKIZAWA HIDEAKI~ awww~~ so nice so sweet so handsome, so unique so ... alrite STOP! hahas! 4words - I luv my blog =) Actually i had alot of things wanna write but i dunno where to start from, ytd wanted to blog but in the end also nvr. anyway friendster de horoscope come back le, kinda happy =)

Think the best is to write abt ytd stuff 1st. as a msg to "him" lo. Whether he noe a not doesnt matters le, but i just wanna write it. * What shld be said all said ytd le. It is really needless for sorries or anyth anymore. Im sorry tt i told others abt ur so call "secret" which in fact it is already more than obvious. Still tt is my fault i willin to say sorry. But ur sorries.. i no longer see anyth to it, besides letting urself feel better, i tink there is nth more to it. u dun wanna hurt me, but the fact is.. those hurt had been implanted into me. I only hv myself to pull out all these hurts. Least no matter wat, u n her hv each other, n i can only depend on myself, cos even friends cant do pretty much, they can cheer me up everyday, but how long im gonna indulge in this state? i wun let it go long, it's time for me to learn to stand up even if it hurts to stand on ground. n i wanna say again, i really dun hate her -.- n even i cant get along with her, it does not involve u. Cos ever since we noe, is already pretty hard for me to get along with her. god knows y. n i will nvr hate a person, no matter wat. hating is pointless.. lk i said i did try to communicate with her. im trying very hard le... just couldnt work. The hurt we gave n took is as much as the stars in the sky, 4ever unable to count. when u told me u need to care abt her feelings.. i knew tt u really fall quite deep for her le.. n i noe is really time 4 me to leave n depend on my own le. wateva izzit, just let me be selfish 1 more time. i dun wanna noe anymore le. i just wanna let go n just walk away. Whether u feel gd or not. i cant care much. u hv her.. i think u already will feel gd enuff le. i unhappy i will solve myself.. n i will got over it. like i said, i cant promise i can still treat u as a fren not, even thou u treat me so. Take it as i petty take it as im bad or wat. cos.. i think, when things gotta end it really gotta end. 1 day n soon enuff b4 sch reopens, i will be fine. cos i will live a better life. cos finally i can put down my harvest n explore again. really =) nth to be sad abt anymore. no 1 to be blame anymore. nth to be guilty or sorry anymore. Let Go bahs....

>.<" my stomach warm warm de. cos i had been a bad ger td, using beer to erase my unhappiness, but oh well, just for td. Two cups of beer to just erase my unhappiness, n then erase 4ever. I will be ok after waking up tmr. althou seeing them will still be uncomfortable, i will soon get used to it n take it as nth =) anyway the beer is nice . THX KOR!! for de treat =X guys dun worry, drink abit beer no harm de =P n i wun use beer harm myself, im just enjoying it n release de pain. [shutt!! tmr better dun headache =X] -smhow i feel myself sober after drinking beer, so ironic >.<"

Wanna thx all those who had helped me to stand up n cheer me up, just wanna let u guys noe, im ok le la. just need a bit, just a little bit more time to let me totally be alrite. Now wat left is myself to start to walk. since now i can stand, walking will be done in no time =D n cos of u guys, it really brightens up my days n ife =) even thou others may start to comment abt me again cos of this incident, i dun care. Cos i noe i hv strong connections with u guys. n really really much appreciated, i luv u all =)) 1st name is ANDREW[cos he say he wanna me give him a big thx zzzz], beng, nicola, tanghuimin, ah da, huiyingjie, miaoru, ccc juniors, and many more[even thou u all dunno wat happen to me but u all still try ways to make my day]

alrite gtg liao. nth much le, the rest will still be the same n things will move on~~ lols. u all got u all de happy, me have me de contented n enjoyment plus tomodachi. actually im glad to leave u. least tomodachi is 4EVER. yea? haaas. bye bye!! daisuki tomodachi~~~!! 1 day i will find my luv.. just a matter of time n opportunity =)

[[ahvone]] ; [[im afraid i will go blind 1 day, as in really blind]]
-sotong signing off

P.BUKOM TRIP =}

2006-05-31T22:14:00.000+08:00

FUN FUN DAY -

I really enjoyed my td XD. Mrn blur blur then overslept..put alarm clock 6.50am then woke up at 7.35am -.-" hehhehs. anyway i not the only 1 tt overslepy, Ah da[cheng da] also as late!! To wait up early in the mrn is so hard. Durin the math lessons, at first is concentrating, then left last 30mins start to switch off le =X I dun like the combine class, cos i dun like to see him. Not cos will paisehx but will be sort of aggravated! I really feel like disclosing his identity! i already dun like him le, there is nth 4 me to be paisehx. But i noe i shld respect others identity. So i wun mention.

Hehhehs~! back to topic, then afternoon went to P.Bukom. Actually nth was consider very fun, i dun understand wat we were trying to learn abt. LOLS. But nvm, the journey was a very enjoyable n fun one. SORRY BENG, i noe i teased u alot td. ooops~! hehehes!! The best time of the journey was taking the ferry, cos i miss tt kind of feeling. n we one grp of ppl say we shall visit the beach tgt after o lvl [if we nvr 4get]. kekes~ Truely miss the scenery, those fun , those craziness at the beach =] Ah da keep quiet really very quiet, but he actually is those can fool ard with de. I think td we both crap alot n shared alot of our experiences =) He is actually a very nice person, just tt he likes to act blur =.="

When on the bus way back to sch i fell aslp!! oh god, so paisehs, but wat to do, really tired. Then chinhui keep laughin tt i slp with a lollipop in my mouth -.- she say later saliva drool out !! LOLS NVR WOR. hehes. OH YA! almost 4get 1kinda funny thing. i tied my hair half, then those guys see liao all stunned, they ask "Y UR HAIR SUDDENLY SO LONG?!" zzzzz. guys are really guys.. 1st is hafiz, asking, "hey u went for hair extention?" then fan ye "hey, y ur hair so long?" then some ppl add in, wha so long =.= i think gers will noe that diff way of tieing hair can make the length of the hair look diff ya? But anyway i dun think my hair is LONG!! i think is still short, cos my intention is to curl it ma~ hehes

==================================
I really feel like hating him for the way he do things! In this world it doesnt only consist of u n her. n i think Jerry is rite, does u guys' happiest means can make others in agony?! we didnt forbid u guys to be tgt[we hv no rite], wat we ask for is u both to disclose the truth!! Just frankness! Is tt really hard?! i really feel lk hatin the both of u[but i wun cos is pointless], cos u both no longer can gain my respect n blessin, cos u both... really not the past tt i knew. y must pretend nehs? Luckily ccc gonna end soon, n i had started to accept how to ignore n PRETEND LK WAT U ALL TAUGHT ME TO!! im disappointed n near to disgusted... I dunno y did i ever fall in love with u.. i really dun. when i think back, i only knew my obsession was foolish!! pls dun treat others lk a fool.

I finally got to know alittle bit more of wat kind of guys i will easily fall for. NOT "HIM" TT I FALL 4. gd in sports or not is another matter, famous or not also another issue. FOR ALL I NOE NVR EVER GONNA BE THE KIND OF "HIM", NVR!!!!!!!!! i thot u n winstar were alike, i was wrong, utterly wrong! U CAN NVR BE LK WINSTAR! nvr nvr nvr nvr!! Winstar is way better than u!! Now i noe, even if 2 person gave u the same kind of feelin, they can still NVR NVR be the same. Somehow witty [not nerdy =.="] ppl attracts my attention, maybe cos i not so witty bahs. hahas. ppl who are very tactful, dun speak much but do think. n of cos, willin to be open n frank with me abt their own past n experiences =] But oh well.. tt is for now, i still dunno wat im really lookin 4 in a spouse.

Yea, getting married? hahas. Maybe, i did say b4 wanna get married at 22yrs old, not just for the sake of gettin married but to hv a blissful family. Kiddo desu~ anata Desu~ family! But right now after all my BGR feelin had been awre, i dunno i need how much time to pick myself up with the courage to fall in luv again, let alone marriage. However i noe god loves me, someone somewhere somehow is in a corner waitin =] or probably already in front me but i haven notice? I dunno, god will lead me, i guess. wahahahahs!! alrite lahs. gtg liaos. tatas~~

[[ahvone]] ; [[daisuki~TAKIZAWA HIDEAKI]]
-sotong signing off

brian sir.. dokoro?

2006-05-30T22:42:00.000+08:00

Lots of laughter -

****[[[Finally had a reply from mdm yasmin and here are the extra details i would like to put up. This matter is actually genuine but there are certain things i would like all of you to be aware of. To donate blood as well as bone marrow, there will be a procedure. Donors who are 16 years old and below will have to seek their parent's consent, and the minimum age for blood donors are 16. There will be a need for donors to pay an amount of money. However i had came in contact with the father and he said he will pay for this amount of money as long as the people are willing to undergo the procedure of checking of thier bone marrow. Once again i will like to reinforce the donor enquiry number : 62130626
Anyone who is still having queries about the procedures of donating blood and bone marrow, please call the number. Hereby, i want to apologise for any misconception in the previous post and also the inconveniences made.]]]****
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I knew there will be many more complicating procedures involve in helping someone and sometimes might landed up with consequences. Im willing to face them, at first im afraid. But now i realise smth, if u had decided to help sm1 help it to the fulless. Since i have started i will not stop half way. Cantonese has one saying "Bong yan bong dou zhun", Once u start to help, do it to the fulless.

Lessons in the mrn is sians and boring. And my own intensive lessons are gonna start soon, really cant afford to play le. gotta think abt the future le. Afternoon time with nicola was fun [sorry for letting u wait thou], and dance time was just as enjoyable [thx coach for understanding] i hope ppl dun come late and dun not come. late can be understandable but not so much rite? zzz.

Indeed today is a very tiring day, but things still gotta be done and move on =] i think i gotta go have a rest now, if not tmr will drop dead, cos still have the P.Bukom thingy~ wheee~ gonna have fun =D

Yeah. i dun have feelings for guys now. as in i not prepared for bgr le. Miaoru told me abt he and "zhu tou" im happy for her, i see her as myself when back then woofy and i lidat.. but hers might have a better outcome. Mine i already forgotten how it was started. Now i just dislike his everyth and no longer wanna think abt him. He made me change. to a .. quieter person.. if u are my confidants. u wld have realise.. im diff after all. and somehow mr lai is clever to spot it. But nevertheless im still fine. cos i have smth else to keep me moving =D oyasumi

[[ahvone]] ; [[Brian sir, dokoro?]]
-sotong signing off

Chi o lvl XD

2006-05-29T14:52:00.000+08:00

Still Nostalgic over it -

Actually i noe the word "nostalgia" cos of Ken hirai's song XD. this fri will post it, n u will noe y i luv this song so much. The song title matches the song just right, the right feelin & expression =)
Lols, just came back not long from sch, took the 1st O lvl paper. CHinese!! hehhehs~ hmmm. easy? NUUUUUUU~ hard? ehhhhhh... hmmm.. kinda.. So in another words, i think can pass but not sure will get distinction ma.. anyway 4get abt it, nth can be done already XD so just say bb to the paper n wait for results. Now shld be the start of revisin/muggin ?? haaas.

Im waiting for mdm yasmin call !!!!! dots. i waited for like 4days le n still nth. hais. im worry abt the kid, but right now mdm yasmin haven reply me i will not contact the father yet.. Hopefully the kid is still doin alrite. *god bless ken chew jian han*..

Keh! I really dislike ppl who act here n there. grrr~ but wateva, is none of my prob XD in fact i think they gonna "deserve" wat they hv at the later stage =X ooops~ .. haaas. i will always rmb not to let this kind of ppl affect my life n mood, cos not worth it! =D "we hv our life so do others. Wat others do does not need our interference. If we cant accept it, just close an eye n walk away, we will feel much better this way, happier & contented with wat we are".

*read more learn more*

[[ahvone]] ; [MissBrianSir-DaisukiTakizawaHideaki]]
-sotong signing off

Daisuki brian sir T.T

2006-05-28T20:29:00.000+08:00

I miss Brian sir lots -

I've learnt 1 word td, "nostalgia" means "home-sickness" or "sentimental yearning for smth of the past". Sentimental doesnt means it gotta be btw 2 couples. n im havin nostalgia over the period when i was in taekwando. Tt period of my 16yrs of life was the most memoriable, happiest & sweetest. I will nvr 4get it, especially those with brian sir. i really miss him lots T.T feel lk cryin whenever i think of him.

Those time were the best of my life cos my sirs & mdms luv me lots n will shower me with care. My seniors love me as well, often asking me to stay alittle later after training to play n chat, n also often ask if im used to trainings. My juniors were fun-loving, thou some were naughty, we respect each other. N the one tt i can nvr ever 4get is Brian sir.. sob..

He was my neighbour as well as my coach. I rmb when i 1st met him, he already took much care of me. n few mths later, he will send me hm everytime after training. Even when he needa go where else he will still send me hm. So sweet rite, brian sir is a very nice n sweet guy. The best thing i like most abt he send me hm is when he ride me hm on his bicycle. thou it was a short journey, but i enjoyed it. Now i recalled, he is the 1st guy whom i ride on the bicycle with. Probably tt's y ever since then i luv tt kind of feelin. a few mths later again, he will send me hm to my hs doorstep. Our parents are acquainted, n i still rmb well tt he was always very shy infront of my parents. Hahas!!

Smtimes after/during trainin he will treat me with drinks. Actually i was very fortunate, i got to train others in a kinda early stage. n he always taught me alot of things [appreciated]. Sob.. i really miss him.. I still rmb his rm full of trophies & medals. so much tt they filled up all the way from the corner of the rm. Haiz. I had lost contact with him n i had not seen him for nearly 2yrs. The last time was when he was bringing his son to visit his parents. n ever since then i nvr see him again, chances are rare cos i had moved hse T.T

I heard tt his marriage was a shot-gun marriage. I was kinda.. sad.. i couldnt imagine the sweet nice n lovin sir will do such a thing. But.. nvm abt tt. Im happy for his wife n his son. cos i noe he will be a gd husband & father. He love kids alot, probably tt's y he look after me so much back then[7yrs old diff]. I noe i had disappointed him much when i quitted due to his leave for NS, cos he had nurtured & care for me alot. Sir.. i really miss u. waaaaaaaaa~~~~~waaaaaaaaa~~~~~. If i had been abt 2yrs younger than him, i will definitely fall for him, or shld i say i did fall for my sir b4? but back then i didnt noe? i was lk only 8-11. moreover tt time i look up to him as a big bro, but now.. probably not.

i truely hope he is doin well n hv a blissful life with his family. i will always rmb him in my heart. Brian sir, i miss u n love u lots, cos u had loved me so much back then when i was young. We were like brother & sister. hahas. It is impossible i will 4get u. i could still rmb ur look.. ur handsome & charmin look... daisuki... alrite gtg liao, cos tmr got exam. gg for my dinner, revise alitte more n then to slp.

[[ahvone]] ; [My long lost memory that i yearned for]
-sotong signing off

Pleasant day =)

2006-05-28T01:56:00.000+08:00

A very fine & pleasant day -

I enjoyed my day. b4 i rumble on n on, i wanna thank andrew for ytd midnight. I was kinda broading over smth n he chatted with me, all the way up to nearly 3am. Hahas, he actually can go slp liao, some more he risking, cos he might get caught by his mum for staying up so late =X hahas! anyway really thx lot. He is a great listener n now i no longer tt vexed le, cos i Noe tt im not gg to be les, just not prepared for bgr for a period of time. Andrew is a nice buddy to be!

I wanna apologise to christina lor. I didnt noe i hv dance this tues, it was just now nicola tell me then i noe. I actually promised to lend christina my track pants, but now i hv to take back my words for i need it. Im really really sorry, n hope she is not mad. But if she really will, there is nth i can do cos i really didnt mean it. hopefully she can find the track pants in time. I will try to call her asap to let her noe. Im truely sorry >.<>

Woke up pretty late td n went out with mummy to buy some stuff. hehes. n then at nite went out with family to buy things again. Lols. very long nvr go out as a whole family le. We had a gd meal, n bought many things. Like me, i bought really kinda alot. they may not mean much to some ppl but is still a lot to me. Bought : 1packet strawberry choco[exp!] 1big bar of choco. 2big packet yoghurt drink, 2aloe vera puddings, mashmellows!! my favourite "kuei"[2], Facial toner n clay mask =X. hair wax[damn exp zzz]. Hmm yupp tt's abt it, but till got other things shared among de family =D so happy td, then alot stuff from jap de. kekes!! Mummy gonna help me buy other jap products =P im so so happy!! i feel tt im becomin more n more vain =X hehes. Now wat i wanted most is to slim down la!! sob.

Haven been revising at all. im so naughty!! kekes. dead meat. tmr must revise le la. all the best to all Chinese O level candidates XD.

I have found so many gd buddies with small tots! LOLs. 1 of them is jerry[yea we noe wat]. then the rest is more like can tok abt anyth! Just chatted with weichong, for ages nvr tok. for some reason we chatted. It was kinda nice =) LOLs k lahs. gtg. oyasumi nehs

[[ahvone]] ; [In love With Jap stuff ; DAISUKI takizawa hideaki]]
-sotong signing off

lossing the heart for BGR love but not the compassion to love

2006-05-26T20:38:00.000+08:00

THE RAY OF HOPE -

Music on blog:
Genre - Jpop
Artist - Mr children
Title - Hero

Ytd was probably 1 of the most comforting/best day tt i have lived for 16yrs of life. b'cos of a young life tt may perish any time, i got to know tt compassionate ppl still exist. They helped despite not knowin him, n im glad to hv these ppl as my friends/confidants. ytd durin midnight i looked up into the sky[is a habit] from my room, i saw the sky covered with stars n i mean really covered. For the 1st time i saw the sky full of stars, n hard to believe it happened in s'pore. I had only seen it when i was in M'sia. I was moved by this beautiful scenery. I know it might be a meteorology phenomenon, but at that moment, in my head i tot "there is gonna be hope for the boy! he will survive!" The sky was so beautiful, i nvr gonna 4get tt night. i luv my room/house so much, cos the scenery at nite is always so beautiful.

I believe every glimmer of light is a given hope. There are a lot ppl i wanna thank with the contribution of helping this toddler.
- Ppl who are willin to check if their marrow matches / donate blood
- My sch, for approvin to send out the msg
- mdm shi & mdm yasmin[im waiting for u to call me!] for helpin
- Zaheer, shakina, hidayah, hafiz, farahdillah, yuying, nadiah, tinghuang, chengda, daniel, [hopefully nvr leave out any] 4 helpin me to give out the flyers.
- Jerry for helpin me when i was in a fluster
- Terence for helpin me to find out abt "aplastic amenia"
- ppl in msn who helped to pass the msg.
- ppl who pray 4 the boy n tried to help

I noe this is kinda doubtful but im sure it is a true, cos of the source it came from n the msgs the father sent [no1 will give so much info if it is fake!] I noe im foolish to help w/o even thinkin much, but i feel i SHLD. i cant go against my conscious of ignorin. Even if i had been cheated upon [which i think im not] i wun be angry. Cos such cases do exist n many was/are not able to get help. If the person had decided to create such lie, all i can say is he will get his retribution 1 day 4 playin such joke.

Im not a parent, but im a fren. I understand how much it gonna hurt to lose sm1 who is dear to us. i've not personally feel it, but i understand the situation. n now i truely understand one thing : CHERISH YOUR OWN LIFE. I think i had said wat i wan. so gonna end here regarding this matter, any further info i'll update.

IN SCH -
Nth more than warmth n fun =) I realised i laughed alot td. dunno y..maybe cos feelin happy tt my frens are all so kind hearted ^ - ^ Td's lit was a kinda funny period cos of mdm yasmin =.=" she gets excited over things easily and then distracted. LOLs. Inside lit room was full of joys n laughters. n i contribute 1 jap word "hayaku" n mdm yasmin 1 french word "pronto" both means "hurry up" =D im missin MISS PICCA...wonder how is she, if she noe my result she sure gotta be shock n disappointed..

Yea, i flung my MYE. wan noe result? no prob lahs, just laughed XD L1R4 = 31, L1R5 = 40 i can go shit liao if i i con'd to be lidat. hah! anyway wat over is over i not gonna be bothered by it. Erm.. i noe mr lai concerned abt me, cos of wat he told my dad.. but gotta understand. over the times, ppl changed due to circumstances.. n tt is cos the more u understand the ugliness of ppl u tend to become quieter n quieter.. but i wun let them affect me. im still the happy and contented me ^ - ^ [Daijiou bu~]

I noe i very lond-winded, but posting for 2days wat =.=" PROMISE LAST THING
Is easy to love but hard to 4get. I can nvr 4get but i choose not to rmb. u claim to be friends, u sure? Im not a fool n so dun treat me lk im. Im no longer charmed by ur way of doing things. I used to think i cant survive w/o u, but didnt i pull thru? Thots often ran thru my mind "was it worth to lose gd opportunities cos of u", "was it worth it to be despair over BGR cos of u", "was it worth it to luv u so long", "was it worth it all this while". I finally noe de ans, worthing doesnt matters, i might had wasted the time but i cant blame any1, n least i learn loads from within n changed due to it. If cant take ur lies as white lies cos it hurts me more than a normal lie. I dun hate u but neither do i luv u. i cant even bring myself to admire u. maybe i had misunderstood u, but the truth is "u nvr wanna be frank with me, hence we can nvr be able NOT TO misunderstand each other". im not pushin blames. But it is clear i had given out enuff n is time to stop. COS IM NOT A FOOL... i can no longer understand u. was it tt u had been lidat 4 all de while n it was me who dun understand instead? i dunno. Im just totally disappointed in u, there is nth tt i see in u anymore, except the past lessons u taught me. I can no longer fall for guys tt easily... Im not prepared... tt's y now i treat all guy frens as my buddies, nth more nth less. I ever tot i gonna be a lesbian cos of u. I dunno, cos i did almost fall into it, almost fall for a ger. n from then on, i feel im becomin like a bisexual. Can lk ger or boy. Hah. My luv life is distorted, i need time to adjust back. BUT RIGHT NOW IM NOT A LES OR A BI.. zzz i just say i feel as thou im.. so i need time to re-adjust. Probably lidat also gd, no more BGR stuff, just family, work, career, studies and friends =)

- the end -

[[ahvone]] ; [Right now i luv ... TAKIZAWA HIDEAKI! wakakaks XD]
-sotong signing off

SAD ... SOB ='(

2006-05-25T23:58:00.000+08:00

URGENT IN NEED FOR MARROW/BLOOD DONORS -

I have got to know that there is this 2years 4months old boy being contracted with a bone marrow disease "Aplastic Anemia", causing blood to form stem cells that are unable to produce enough platelets and blood. This boy is my friend's, so on and so forth friend's son. The parents are seeking for kind hearted people to donate all kinds of blood but best with AB+ to hospital to help this 2yrs 4mths old child. The father sincerely hope that AB+ blood people could try to match with his son's marrow to save his life. So please spread the news to your family members, relatives and friends, hoping that one of them may be in match with his marrow.

According to the father, he was told by the doctor that actually any blood type can match his son's marrow. It is a tissue they are loooking for in the blood. To look out for a match, it is 1 out of 20k. therefore to increase his chance, anyone who is willing to donate blood, do give this child a chance. As the blood bank do not have enough blood platelets doner, any blood is a chance for him. Even if the blood does not matched his, the blood can also be a life saver to the others!

For blood donors making their way to donate blood to Ken, please go to the blood bank at collection center HSA building and tell them that you want to donate platelets with HLA typing match KEN CHEW JIAN HAN a 2years 4months old boy. I/C T0402637Z, warded 7523 in kk children hospital. please call 62130626 before going down. Operating hours of the blood bank at HSA as well as marrow bone office : tuesday to thursday, 9 to 6.30pm. Friday 9 to 8pm. Saturaday 9 to 4.30pm. Sunday 9 to 2pm. Moday close. Doner enquiry 62130626.

The father would like to thank all those who supported and helped him. About Ken's condition, he had platelets transfusion over the weekends and his condition has been stablised. He still needs to do transfusion regularly for 3 to 6 months. Therefore pls continue to donate regularly as Ken is still not out of danger. The HSA had told them that the blood expires in 4days, hence advised to donate at staggered timing. For those who has AB+ type, they sincerely hope you can be a marrow doner as that will increase his chance to find a match and save his life.
Although we do not know them directly, we get to know such case. We can't just do nothing, all human beings have compassion, and it is time for action too. On behalf of the Chew family, i thank you all for helping out.

here is my email : honeylemon_90@hotmail.com thx for those who had helped me to spread the msg, esp my buddies and confidants. Erm, and let's pray the child will got over it. =)will blog other stuff tmr. too late now.

[[ahvone]] ; [[i cant pretend i didnt noe abt it, it concern of a life *god bless*]]
-sotong signing off

Getting used to the new pace =)

2006-05-24T23:25:00.000+08:00

Im no fool that u think im -

Hello all, just completed my stuff so i came by to blog. Chinese intensive tests gonna be over soon, meaning Chinese O lvl is drawing nearer [this coming monday]. I dunno how the paper will be like but i hope i will be able to tackle it. All the best to all peeps taking this paper =)

I kinda like my new pace of life, i realised that there are alot of male buddies that are really kinda nice to me. Thou shall not be named, if not ppl will start saying i like them [but i wun fall for buddies, that's y is call buddies]. Erm, yea, maybe cos i kinda boyish, so we always call each other buddies. Thou dun talk much but the concern is there, surprisingly but yes. eh... im not sure, but i do feel that smtimes ppl dun tok much but the concern is there.

Maybe im foolish but i really do believe in horoscope to a certain extent, somehow it helps me to help myself from moving forward. i believe i can pull thru all this time. gotta keep smiling ya? haaa~

Im not a fool that u think im! Trying to tok me into wat u think i will? im sorry but probably not anymore, i will be much better to decline ur "invitation" that u think i will join willingly like i used to. Im not a fool, i just pretend that i dunno anyth, rmb my motto IGNORANCE IS BLISS that's y certain things even i noe, i pretend im ignorant of it.

Things are getting more and more exciting for me somehow. haas, i also dunno y, just feel.. kinda diff now. I will continue to do my best and strive for the things i want. alrite is getting kinda late, gtg for now. nites dearies~~~

P.S wat's btw u and her, i honestly cant care less anymore, just LEAVE ME ALONE, cos i already DUN love you! everyth has an expiry date, so does my feelings for u. over the time im really getting tired out of our matters, i realise is time for me to truely back out. i just wan peace. . . if u need my blessings i will give, but i just wish u can give me peace by stop treating everyth as thou is definite for me to face it! enuff is enuff. Everyth always have a time to sayGOODBYE, and that's now.

[[ahvone]] ; [[DAIDAISUKI Takizawa Hideaki]]
-sotong signing off

My new pace..

2006-05-23T19:33:00.000+08:00

Gettin used to what i usually dont -

Maybe in life there will be certain times whereby we do things against our well and tend to be thinking of it in a negative way. Similarly i had met mine. It is hard to get by the time im gg thru now. Only my family, huiying and maybe some of my confidants can understand what i mean here. Nevertheless im going to pull thru and not let those things affect me.

Yupp, i probably getting used and learning to enjoy this so-called " new pace " of mine.. erm. yea, smtimes feel lonely, but as time passes by, i understand, that isnt loneliness la, moreover i have frens, just that we are all busy with our work and i cant be selfish to want them by my side.

I noe this is just part and parcel of life. so i gonna take it and learn it. Even the hardest time i will still overcome it and outdo it! cos i believe, and i gotta be more positive le =] .. When it is the darkest moment, everyth cloud be seen clearly and the clearest..

for those who treat me like dirt, i wun curse u, but i believe god has eyes. I can only say i WAS stupid, to believe in u all again despite how i was treated back then. My dad was right, i shldnt "eat return grass"[translate from chi] .. i was really stupid. I SWEAR I NVR GONNA DO SUCH THINGS AGAIN! I LEARNT MY LESSONS. right from then i shldn have seen it clear by i blind-folded my heart again. i shld noe wat was done once will be done again! it was my mistake.. now i understand my dad's words and huiying's jie words.. i shld really just be me and dun care abt those peeps who are pretentious. i noe i was wrong in my decision to return... i hope god forgives me for my foolishness..

Nonetheless of the hurts again and again from those ppl, i still trust fully in my confidants. And now i noe wat is truely call confidants rather than frens. i truely miss them, more than words can say =p ashiteru.. i love them..

[[ahvone]] ; [gonna learn from my foolishness]
- sotong signing off

Tiresome journey

2006-05-22T19:34:00.000+08:00

Tiresome [feeling much better thou] -

hmm.. wasnt feeling too good this few weeks even thou exams are over. I had been thinking of smth which i can nvr come to an answer. why those people ard me can be so nice yet so hypocrite? i crack my brains and think abt it but did not came to an answer. In fact it only caused me to be even unhappy only.

Now that i have thot over it, i shouldnt even be bother abt it. This is wat ppl wanna be, so if they wanna appear so, i shld just respect it and let it be. This shldnt be affecting me at all, in fact i shld think more positively lo. yea, now kinda fine le, just that feelings kinda tired =)

I noe haven done well for my MYE, not even a pass, and i guess my overall wun be of much different. Haiz. i noe i had not done my best and true euff i do not noe my textbook. So i really gotta buck up for the remaining time i have. Probably, i shldnt stress myself so much le. Like daddy and mummy said, as long as really do ones' best, no matter wat is de outcome of the result, least there is no regrets and there will still be a way out. So i must jia you le. alright that's all for now, gg to revise some work then if possible slp earlier bye bye!

[[ahvone]] ; [[Jap stuff + taki gonna be my movtivation and not distraction]]
-sotong signing off

Jappie jappie all de way~~

2006-05-20T16:30:00.000+08:00

BOOOOO -

Today so far kinda a good day =) morning went for de literature talk. I expect it to be really boring, but it turned out kinda ok. i got alot more infos and useful notes for JLC. hmmm i also enjoyed being with shiping and hafiz, we kinda crap abit. And everyone there have a good laugh at questions being asked. LOL. hahas, shouldnt laugh, but it is really hard to bare with it! hahas.

Dun intend to study much this week =PpPp. Hmmm. cos otherwise no more time to slack le mah~ haiz. stress is coming up soon, with O lvl chinese on its way this 29 may! hahas. no matter wat, just jia you bahx. that's de only thing that i can do lo.

Hmmm feeling much better today~ not to sians like ytd le, also recover much more le [must drink more water]. Wakakakakakx!!! i found a few more shuai jap guys nehs~~ other than takizawa hideaki. but stilL!! he is my one and only love for jap guys. NO.1 de!! Let's intro de others, potential and really jappie look =D According to my own liking, here goes the ranking of my top 10!!

1st : takizawa hideaki
2nd : Uchi Hiroki
3rd : Kamenashi Kazuya
4th : Yamashita Tomohisa
5th : Ryo Nishikido
6th : Tachibana Keita
7th : Kimura Takuya
8th : Teppei Koike
9th : Akanishi Jin
10th : Imai Tsubasa

[[ahvone]] +++ [[Jappie all de way]] =))
-sotong signing off

Atashi wakaranai minna

2006-05-19T22:45:00.000+08:00

Atashi wakaranai minna -

wasnt feeling too good today so didnt attend sch, but i got to noe my results, i flung of cos =X .. yea i noe it is a wake up call and i am still working my way out to handle this prob.. hard but i gotta somehow someday and quick!
Zzz.. tmr still have to go back to sch for a literature talk. haiz it will be nice if tmr need not go back. Haiz. nvm la. forget it.

Song changed =D
Artist : shibata jun
Genre : Jpop
Title : miseinen(youth)

Erm.. Not in much of the mood to write much. everyone take care. byebye =]

[[ahvone]] ; [MaybeCertainThingsTillThisDayIsHardToBeExplainForTheChangeInHumanity]
- sotong signing off

Inspirations ; diney bday

2006-05-16T21:07:00.000+08:00

HAPPY B'DAY DINEY -

Hahas. My blog like very wordy and the profile like quite long, but that is for friends who are interested to know what is going on, if not just ignore it XD .. Still i love this current design of my blog, and truely thx to the designer.

My friend who after reading my blog tot i depress zzz. Aiyo~ i not depress, just not really that happy due to the bgr stuff, but no worries im fine wor. Probably im already used to it le, moreover if the person u like is really blissful with the partner, guess it is best to give our blessings to them. We all still young ma~ But also cos i've decided to put my effort and engery onto my career path. So bgr stuff, for now i wont be overly concerned, when time to come it will arrive.

Recently got a few ppl told me they are inspired by me and my thots [indirectly or directly]. I didnt know i had done so, but im really happy that i could make a difference in their life and make them wanna excel in their own aspect. To me it is nth to boast abt, in fact i think that is what frens are for, to help one another and to engage each other to excel. If my friends are really inspired by me, i really appreciate and i hope my inspirations will be passed on to other ppl. if it can help smone, it means it can helps others too. And i hope my own inspirations will bring me far too~ ^ - ^

Today end MYE le, but also time to prep for o lvl le. Now dun start, cant catch up in time le. But finally i have a bit time to draw norhx. I miss those time drawing nehs~ if have time maybe will pack my room *messy messy*. LOLs. Alright, gtg for now, haven even have my dinner. zzz hungry~~ anyway, today's dance class was nice despite being sick. I love dance class. I also enjoyed the chat with Nicola mei today, mei dun give up ohh~ Ganbatte nehx~!

[[ahvone]] ; [[Move IT]]
- sotong signing off

你有你的选择,我会尊重．

2006-05-15T22:56:00.000+08:00

Another kind of start again -

Just changed my blog's skin this evening. nice ma? hahas. i kinda love it, and suits my theme "All shall dream the dreams we have" =p The background song is "sotsugyou" by Takizawa hideaki. If i have time i will change the background music every week. Pardon me if it is ALWAYS in japanese. hehes. i will put chinese and english songs too, I will find more soothing de.

I am in love with Shibata Jun's songs. soothing. touching and soul calming.. especially yume(dream) and miseinen(youth/a girl). Her voice is kinda unique too. will play her song next time. Hope all visitors will like it. arigatou~

Certain things i really wun like to keep in the heart anymore. Till this day i still dunno why ppl can fake to friend each other. Backmouth behind their back and then pretend to friend them at the same time. If you wanna tell me abt anyone's negative side, pls keep it to urself or say to ur so-called "tomodachi". If you tell me smone else's negative side, it simply means u may also say me one day. I dont mind if it is joking, but dont to the extend to comment overly ma. i really cant tolerate when u pretend to be nice to everyone. One word "like" or "destest". No need to act "high class" as thou u are invenerable right? every human beings need care. Even one who does anyth wrong b4 also deserve to be care. Imagine you are the one being outcast? Smtimes being out of these ppl and be alone might not be a bad thing afterall, least u need not worry to curl up into a mess of gossips and entangle in the "push-blamer" game. I just wish for peace and everyone to care and concern their fellow beings. is that too much to ask for? Even if one day a grp of ppl start to slowly leave me behind i will still choose to think positive =D i will rmb the words i put here today. For i may seem alone on the surface but the truth is, my supporters are supportive of me in silence. No matter wat, i still wanna treat everyone as tomodachi despite whateva cases.

to[woofy] : i gave the trust in u. somehow i feel betrayed. whether it is or not. does not matter anymore le. you choose to do it i also cant say anyth. u emphasis close frens. but ur msn nick means more than a close frens. maybe im sensitive, but wat i see deeper is a possibility btw de both of u developing feelings. You dare say u do not have "more than just a fren" de feeling for her? i doubt so! do some soul searching bahx. maybe the destination btw us had long been reached. Like i said.. ur love life, i have no right to interfer. if it is like u said "u happie i happie" btw u and her.. then.. i give u my blessing. hopefully de tormenting will not cause me to bleed too much.. or have i already bleed to numbness long ago? Daijiobu.. is all ur choice. Least. once we were good frens too. but our destiny is meant to end here. no more further.. u choose ur path.. i witness and give the blessing. final last goodbye. Sayoonara.

Tmr last paper le, will come by to blog more. =) now new blogskin i hope i need not fill too much of [woofy] stuff anymore. cos i already noe, he fall for her. And that's my ending, pacing along de beach and waiting for another wind to blow pass me. Sore ni..Daijoubu~ Atashi honto ni give the blessings to you both. ^ - ^ JA NAI!

[[ahvone]] ; [[con'd the journey to learn my japanese and acheive my dream]]
- sotong signing off

体弱多病呀~!!

2006-05-13T01:30:00.000+08:00

Got sick during the exams period -

i noe it has been ages since i drop by. hehes. eh. i first time nvr attend exams due to falling sick o.O" first time wor!! diao =.=" nth to be proud of. kekex. zzz...this year fall sick alot of times. oh god, i hope i dun keep falling sick cos this yr 'O' lvl nehx~ aiyOooos~ anyway now recuperating le, so shld be okay. Just that wateva i tried to read into my mind just pour back out! zzz. noe i gonna flung my MYE. But i not gotta care much, at most burn my june holidays. hahas. yea got abit planning liao. =D

Thx for those ppl who are concern of my absence in sch and my health. for those who didnt ask a single thing, is ok, i noe everyone is busy, so smtimes all this thing will slip thru the mind de. still..a fren shld care for one another ya~ ^ - ^ everyone try to take care as much as possible wor. cos the weather now very bad~~ haiyoo! Dun like me lidat keep falling sick. hehes.

to [woofy]: if u ever come by my blog i really wanna tell u these lo. Thx for the concern that u gave me, it might seems simple but it comes together with a kind of warmth. Hmm. wat gotta be say already said le, hopefully we had already sort things out. Right now we both noe we cant be "normal" towards each other, but we also had decided to face each other again after leaving sch. Thou the feelings u have for me is just a fren, but the care is geniue, and i too care as much for u, cos we are frens~ so hope by then things will be ok. No one knows what will happen tmr, so i cherish our past out present and our whateva future to be. I noe i wasnt being very understanding towards u in the past and had hurt u over and over again. Despite all these u still chose to understand me even more and give in to me. There is nth more i can ask for, and the gratitude i have towards u, can nvr be express in words. Thou there may not be any chance for us to be a couple, and it doesnt matters to me anymore. I feel that i am already contented enuff to at least have such a fren like u. =) Least, those memories that are left will be the happiest moments. and the present will be the most pleasant. and the future gotta be forward looking and soon be cherish. wateva it is, still last two words. usual words : "Sorry" & "thank you". abt ur love life. oh well, i wun poke my nose in. as long u are happy, i will be just glad to hear so.

[[ahvone]]--[[Not everyone is as lucky as me to get back a lost fren]]
-sotong signing off

一切也该有了断了.

2006-05-04T17:31:00.000+08:00

精疲力尽了 -

也许我真的十分疲倦了, 在也没有多余的力气去注意你的每一件事. 你告诉我你和她只是要好的朋友, 我想相信但听到大家对你们的欢呼, 看到她对欢呼而笑, 我怎么信你的话? 你让我好辛苦, 好想哭, 但我曾经告诉自己不能在为你而哭泣...算了吧, 也许我的选择是对的. 不管日后会怎么样, 我会往前走,不在为你而难过. 一切也该有个了断了, 我愿意把你给忘掉. 我一点也不恨你或她, 因为我已经不是从前的我. 我会开开心心,好好过日子, 你放心吧 =)

Aiyo. very tired ars. from today till 16/05 will be mid-year exams. After mid-year exams will be chiong all de way liao. this time really to prepare for o lvls liao. times really flies yea. Back then i only recall myself as a secondary one student and now, here i am already going to graduate this year. Haha. kinda look forward to the future stuff.. also dunno why =X hahas. anyway, all de best to everyone in their mid-year examinations. currently really tired. after mid-year then blog more bahx. also wanna thx to those who rmb my birthday and wish me a happy birthday. Thou no presents, but i can sense de sincerity from de bottom of u guys heart. gotta go! take care loads. tatas~

[[ahvone]]::[[gottaMoveOn.SomehowSomedayONEDAY]]

Examination symdroms

2006-04-28T22:52:00.000+08:00

Examination symdroms -

Haiz haiz. Oh god, my "examination symdroms" have start to react on me norhs. As usual, whenever it comes to having the period of examination, i will become kinda pessimistic and i will be in my abnormal status. I mean i will be kinda moody and then easily irritated as compare to what im usually. In addition i will also lose my optimistic side. Zzz. Just a routine for me whenever it comes to having examinations. I will be okay once the examinations end.

However, i am trying hard to overcome these fears in me for i dun wanna carry on having this kind of mood whenever it comes to letting me face a "test". well well, i wun allow my own fears and pessimist inner side to ruin the ways i want things to be like. I wun give up, i will perserver. Ganbarimasu~!! I will make it somehow, someday and FINALLY =D oyasumi

[[ahvone]]::[Nth gonna ruin my ways]]
- sotong signing off

想做的东西

2006-04-22T00:07:00.000+08:00

Things that i wanna do most-

How many of us actually knows what we really wanna do most? All the while i just kept on doing things just for the sake of living on, but what is it that i really wanna do? probably after so many things that i've gone thru' i think somehow i truely knows how i wanna head on. hehe. a few of my frens noe how i wanna head on =) and i really hope to acheive so.

I hope my TRUE frens all by now truely knows what they wanna do lo, for the sake of interest/future. hehes. I really wanna do things that i like every single day, but meanwhile i cant afford to do so la. Well, "hardships first, and the desserts follow by." - i believe =D .. ganbarimasu neh~ well well, now i will just hang on with the "Tolerance will bring us far"concept... hehes. "Nothing is impossible unless you try to do it right!" .. lalala~

okay lahx. also nth much, just trying to push myself to study abt secondary sch stuff [against my will but i will still do it].. hehes. To only TRUE friends [those not relevant pls leave] *oops~ sounds kinda rude: sorry, but i just dislike sm1 really alot =X but i know i still shldnt do that.. gomen gomen* ====>> those taking O lvl de. this might be our last yr together but our friendship is deep within the heart forever. we gonna pull thru together this year, so give our best shot. and those not taking O lvl de, i noe no matter wat we face we will always stay by each other sides..

We shld always have a heart of sympathy, cos even if sm1 have a lot of friends, does not means they are very popular. In fact they are afraid of having no friends and they are truely lonely despite the load of friends. So rmb, we shld all care and concern for one another no matter what. So what if ppl really dislike u? just pretend lo, i still choose to treat them normal [not hypocrite] but just that i find everyone desevere care no matter how disgusting they can be. One needs no favour in return, i believe, what goes round comes about, so if u wanna ppl to be good to u, u must treat others good first =)

[[ahvone]] == [[Oyasumi neh~ add oil, add oil, add some more!! hehes]]
- sotong signing off

Stay calm ma~

2006-04-15T17:33:00.000+08:00

We should all be calm -

Often ppl let their emotional side overpower their ability to think. In this case i guessed it is almost the same. How many is willing to think TRUELY think in the victims shoe without adding in any of ur own opinion and emotional? im not saying i can do it totally, but somehow i can [maybe cos i used to have frenship probs and i came to understand that we shld all understand one another instead of critising] .

I know her sis care for her, but she must be calm first too, being hot-headed always will be the LAST to benefit.. And those who comment like it is ur business, oh my.. maybe i understand the sis feeling now. So dont u think ALL can actually just calm down and be in peace?

The victim might be still angry of me cos in msn, i actually tell her i am not siding her or the guys, but i told her to reconsider abt the decision. I understand the sis says "sorry cant cure the hurt". true enuff. but has the hurt been that deep to the extent whereby the victim must do such harsh decision? might not. And the victim has misinterpret my concern. Im not pleading for de guys, im concerning that she might be doing things in a silly manner due to being emotional. God knows why in the end will the ending be she thinking im not siding her [in fact i neutral lehx. zzz] ..

I dun care whether ppl think im fake siding her, or ppl think im stupid to side her..[which in fact my stand is clear, neutral, cos still i tok to everyone] but think this way.. either siding her or discriminating her is coming to the same conclusion.. everyone just wanted this thing to end CLEAN and FAST.. isnt there another alternative? there is if u could just stay calm and listen to what ur hearts say..

To victim and victim's sis : if u ever come across my blog, pls rmb wat i said.. stay calm alrite? no use getting angry or upset, affecting ur optimism.. Well.. i m not good at my words.. but one thing for sure. i noe such situation is nvr nice.. so i noe the victim is not feeling good too. And as a blood related person and esp. on sis.. sure will get agitiated and angry. When my bro knows i was bullied by [thx to the person who noe who SHE is] he got so agitated that he wanna go down to find her. but in the end didnt, cos i told him "things arent so bad.. over the time it will be over". i choose to just let it be.. and im what im today.. understand things and others much better.. well. all in all, i just wanna a CONCLUSION.. neither one will be hurt.. and pls pls pls.. think carefully.. has the guys totally did that or just that the victim is PERSONALLY uncomfortable with it?

Alright.. end of my LAST POST for my stand and abt this matter. No point rumbling on and on when the ending will be the same. If ppl wanna comment that im wrong to be neutral and dislike me at the same time i can only say this "The mind is urs, u have the right to think that and i wun care. The mouth is urs and what u wanna say i wun care either, cos it does not matters. The one up there[GOD] will noe how to deal with things at the right time. AND i dare to swear to god, i did not do anyth that is hurting anyone. wo dui de qi tian di liang xin!" thank you =)

[[ahvone]] - [[the majority does not always signifies the truth and the right thing]]
- sotong signing off

truely - ignorance is bliss..

2006-04-15T00:16:00.000+08:00

Neutral -

Indeed to a certain extent there might be anger, but i still standing on de fence [neutral].. cos im not her, i cant really say wat's on her is wrong. I cant side the others cos indeed there are to some point they are wrong. But isnt all of this come to a balance when she threatens back with a scissors? I dunno, personally my view, it could be really a simple matter to be solve. Somehow she didnt even give her own opinion but just afraid that she will be scolded by her family members and just follow on. Well, for cos there is no wrong for that.

I only hope god will bless those victims of this matter and hopefully things will come to a peaceful end soon. I dun wanna see any of them in trouble, in agony or even discriminated. I just hope there is another alternative, a better way out instead of all this chaos.

No matter wat izzit, to me, wat over is over, no point dun tok to the female victim or wat de lo. ppl just have diff thinking and i will still accept it. moreover.. it is time to mature. in fact. the mature standard is hard to define la. God, pls bless them with calmness to solve this problem. maybe im selfish, i choose to just bless them in silence..i feel there is nth i can do. gomen nei. genki desuo~ i feel sorry for everyone. but there is nth can be done. look things in the positive view bahx. It might not be really that bad.. and i understand those proceeders made... but sometimes is better to just listen more than comment.. oyasumi..

[[ahvone]] = [everything is gonna be fine..i believe =)]
- sotong signing off

Class chaos

2006-04-12T18:17:00.000+08:00

CLASS CHAOS -

haiz... last year i beg u all dun lidat la.. why must make things lidat? i noe no one wanted it to be this way..
I truely feel that NONE is at fault, just misunderstanding. But u guys can dun add oil into fire ma. haiz.. she is a ger also lehx. think for de parents who are worry for their daughter ma. U all sec4 le... time to think and grow mature le. I REALLY DUN WAN to see any of u being transfer to other class. i wan 4e3 to be forever 4e3. GOD BLESS U all. haiz.. i hope this problem will be settle asap..finally, my name is cleared -.-" .. those people finally noe back then it wasnt my fault and it's "it" fault.. and i notice the changes in "it" surrounding.. aiya. there is nth i wanna comment abt that.. and those ppl who noe wat it is like.. noe it perfectly well, no need me to say at all. and those who dunno, it is ok that u dunno but one advice, be careful of who u mix with AND REMEMBER, the majority might not always be the right one =] ... alright.. that's all..

[[ahvone]] -- [[im finally freed of "guilty"... they finally understand the TRUTH!]] -whereareumrzzz~
- sotong signing off

Super nice day~!! lalala~

2006-04-10T17:01:00.000+08:00

A blissful day for me -

Oh my, i cant believe how happy i must have been today. Thou miss picca is no longer teaching us from today onwards, i must say, today is a good start off of my week. there is four main things thou, and i shall start now =D

Firstly, i know im slow but i've only comfirmed smth today. now i totally believe in retribution cos it had happened back to that person. I wun wanna say anyth for i dun wan wat goes round and comes abt, so i give an advise to all my frens : dun treat others badly, cos one day u might be like them.. think in their shoes.. be sincerely nice to them.. and just think things simple and u will be happy. Sometimes, i must truely thank it for doing those hurtful things on me. If not i will not be able to be the person im today. the one that i think, is truely me.. the inner me that im able to express.. and contended. God bless u and everyone =]

Secondly, i saw this sec2 guy who looks much alike "rabbit".. oh my.. he makes me think alot of things abt de past, thou he is not "rabbit".. dun worry i wun fall for him de.. when i first saw him was when he came to chinese dance [for once only HAHA!!].. then after that i realise he is in my peer tutoring class. oh my.. his face really makes me think back of those happy moments back then with "rabbit" *smiling*

Thirdly, after just now peer tutoring i have been thinking and missing "rabbit" real hard.. haha.. and god knows how much i miss him.. And when i reached my house after alighting from my dad's taxi, i saw "rabbit" infront of me. Awww. how nice was that, and i wave to him as thou i have not seen him for years! LOL [when it was only like few mths].. anyway... God has always been really nice to me [ty].. haha.. Haiz.. but somehow i see his tiredness in his eyes. i really dunno how has he been, but i hope he is alright after all. God pls help me look after him, i noe life hasnt been easy for him all these years.. thank you =]

Lastly, awww, probably the best round up for my happy day. haha. Glen finally got online and thank god i finally noe he is not dead [just kidding =D].. hmmm. i didnt realise he is online, until he said hi to me. LOL. anyway, it is always nice to see a "long lost" fren again. haha. as usual he is funny. wakakaka, congratz glen, u gonna be a brother again!! lalala~ happy for de mother actually. LOL. maybe cos im someone who love kids la, so... ya think u all get me. Hmmm. anyway, glen seems much better now.. not as sad as i first noe him. Alright, still as crappy thou =D...

So, today is really a very nice nice nice day for me. thank god for rounding my day in such a way, truely appreciated it =]
[[ahvone]] - [[life is just so wonderful sometime ... i love my life really alot]]
- sotong signing off

Bon voyage.. genki desu~

2006-04-07T17:48:00.000+08:00

Kinda a neutral week -

Good and bad things have happened this week. Let's talk about the not so nice stuff or rather appears to be sad to me. Firstly, today is the LAST lesson with MISS PICCA.. awww. i really miss her, feel like crying thou. 2yrs may seems long but not really short either, i miss those happy times with her. I just didnt expect her to leave us much earlier than expected. Haiz. guess it is just a matter of time that she will be seperated with us. But i truly truly miss her.. take care miss picca ='( bon voyage =]
Secondly, this week is not very nice thanks to sm1 who commented on almost everyone in our class. talking behind others back and still pretentious as a good fren. Man, i was almost fooled by him. He said others including me about our negative side but did he ever reflect on his own behaviour? NO! If ppl are wise, they will noe what kind of person he is, after him trying to criticise others and pretend to be good to them as well. where is ur moral?! think abt it - no one is perfect and if u dun really understand others, dun comment, just shut, all will definitely appreciate u, thank u =)
Lastly, the event that sadden was what happened yesterday after PE. I was having recess with my pals and i came to realise smth that i was kinda sad. I saw many people who are alone! sitting alone eating alone.. i just cant stand those sights, they really make me sad. Cos i noe being alone is a terrible feeling. What is most saddening is that they are being stared with a kind of negative response. I mean why should ppl every leave them in a launch and even NOT wan to share tables with them? what's wrong with them? they are our feelow species and mind u they are also human beings with feeling lo. I noe that kind of loneliness de feeling. Imagine u are the one seating there alone, do u feel good? definitely not. Dont say u have a lot of frens and this will nvr occur to u, everyth is hard to predict, so think of others in their shoes, DONT ever make them feel any more down! i hope these ppl will stay strong and just ignore others lo.. those who make them feels bad, will have it in return one day! just they wait. may god bless all lonely souls. haiz. This world is just so cruel sometimes.. take cares man.

Finally the good things, actually also nth much for why this is a good week. Simply just because friday marks the end of a schooling week and i also have my fun times in this week. Especially when Beng is being teased so much that we all can really laugh and fall off from our chairs =x . sorry ar beng u really very funny ar, we just couldnt help but con'd laughing lo. =D Also this week i came to realise ppl can be just so double headed snake, that's y im happy least i discover now. Thou many unhappy events happened this week but i am happy least it is all over and the better things are to come soon. Anyway, HAPPY INTERNATIONAL FRIENDSHIP'S DAY TO ALL MY TOMODACHI !! frens for eternal [to those who really worth it] im off to find taki and SID stuff~ buaiz .. enjoy the weekends guys!

[ahvone] = [Dont mount over the past, we gotta move on. GENKI DESU~]
-sotong signing off

Just life.. i will live it to the fullest thou =D

2006-04-05T17:41:00.000+08:00

Just sort of didnt expect it -

I know u gonna have a good birthday with those loads of frens around u. im happy for u, and envy u =]

Probably im really tired already.. After encountering so many ups and downs, even thou i overcome them.. i have already worn out myself. I no longer wanna think so much and talk so much. I rather i can just stop talking and thinking for one day [impossible thou =x]. After it tok to me i find myself toking alot again. that's not i wan. really indeed i need to be more and more careful.. things are just always so unexpected. I shld talk less to it even thou it talk to me!! i cant be distracted even thou im tired.

Tired is tired.. but i will pull till the end. cos i noe wanna wat i wan to go for. But i have worn out in BGR and friendships.. i just dun wanna bother as much anymore. cos if i this and that also wanna care, how on earth is life gonna go on? LOL. wateva izzit. deep in heart i noe least im true. ppl cant see it, i also wun say anyth to prove it, it is pointless =] .. i see ppl change. i see myself change, i see everyth change. those drastic changes. is enuff to make me realise life.. that's why i got really tired.. cos life is just hard to be explain in words.. u gotta experience it.. and understand it urself... i suppose..

For goodness sake, TAKIZAWA HIDEAKI DID NOT went for a plastic surgery. oh my, i actually doubt his look, how can i be so unobservant? oh my.. luckily i realise my mistakes. and i start to realise one more thing.. time for me to learn to be not so guillable and be more observant and wise =D ... ashiteru~~ suki desu~~

Sob. miss picca is going to italy in 4 days times. honestly im sad. but still life gotta go on. I noe is not as thou i wun see her again. but witnessing a teacher's leave, is just saddening. Haiz. after she transfer to another sch.. i think i might not have de chance to see her again. im not those who dare to auto ask teacher out de. dun ask me y, i dunno =x God bless her father with a peaceful leave.. and may she overcome her obstacles. miss picca i really love u. but i accept the fact that, things and even ppl just come and go, so i must learn to accpet it.

[[ahvone]] --- [[i've accepted life, but i DO NOT give in to life. it is all within my hand. i believe!]]

My memories.Move on.Gotta make it far!

2006-04-01T18:26:00.000+08:00

Few more days to his bday -

Before i go to bath i shall blog =) ... hmm. looked thru my past photos on my computer [was clearing for space].. saw alot of pictures that brought me back to the past memories i have. Suddenly i realise i was like just stun there, i did nth except stare.. Not really feeling hurt, but actually smiling back at them [sounds crazy].. But really, when i look at those photos with those frens i used to be with i just smile at them. Probably i have came to realise that.. "least those were once my time, and now it is my memories".. "nth can be done, so be happy if they are doing well".. "smile for u are happy".. hahax. that's why i smiled back at my pictures. I really do care abt memories, but wat's more impt is to move on.

There are really loads of things i wanna do, so i must move on no matter wat the past is like. my memories had cause wat im today.. and i must really thx every single one of them. i came to realise one thing .. "nth is forever even thou it has been said out before".. because when i see the photo i rmb ALL of them telling me "we will be forever".. but now. just another story =] .. no matter wat. i really love my memories. for they are all part of my life. and i still love all of them even thou now not together. Just that. i will nvr go back to wat is like in the past anymore. I cant be any more contented with wat i have now. really =] *just smiling*

Aiyo~ alot hw lehx. so sians. "ganbarimasu!!" that's wat i tell myself to keep myself going. listen to T&T, taki and boku dake madonna songs to keep me going lor. if not really very tiring =D . so far still ok la. hopefully de project that me, yan ran, gabriel and felix are doing will come out good. ganbatte!! Quote for de day : "Only when u believe then u will acheive what u have thought to be".. today is a very nice and happy day for me!! bye bye!!

*in my heart not gonna forget : bel,sujun,shujun,jingting,jingwen,suping,dine,xinying,efgh :those fun fun fun times we used to have.. not forgetting. the lanest that i once love so much.. -tears.left[someone]*

[[ahvone]] = [[IbelieveIwillMakeItEndOfTheDay//iwannaexcel//thePainIsworthToacheiveTheSuccessOfmyLife]]

It's taki's birthday! sugoi!!

2006-03-29T19:51:00.000+08:00

TANJOUBI OMEDETOU TAKIZAWA HIDEAKI!!

It's taki's 24th birthday~!! whee~!!!
happy birthday to u
happy birthday to u
happy birthday to taki~~
happy birthday to u!!

yeah, the image is takizawa hideaki, aka taki =D . I know his existance when i was pri 4 and started to like him when i was in primary 6. Partially the reason that got me into liking japanese stuff. lalala~ Few weeks ago, while i was thinking back about my primary sch day i actually recalled abt taki!! LOL. that's y i "once again" like taki. i have almost forgotten him =x well well. I dunno wat to say but indeed he attracts me. Thou i dunno him in real life, but i guess, sometimes certain things are just lidat, even if u just see it, it is already good enough. heees. today is his 24th birthday, i wish him all the best and a smooth career and may his dreams come true. i love takizawa hideaki forever =x. lalala~ definitely gonna love japanese stuff for life. taki taki takizawa.. [alright just ignore me] =D Ganbatte neh, takizawa!! genki desu!!

[[ahvone]]::[[I will work towards my goal ... Atashi honto suki nihonjin desu~!!]]
-sotong signing off

peaceful week~

2006-03-24T18:37:00.000+08:00

Totally peaceful week -

Hey~ everyth so far so good lo. least this week is really a very peaceful week that i totally enjoy everyth. Today in class also kinda have fun la. hahax. This week so good no homework lidat, can finally revise abit =D ... hmmm particularly im just feeling kinda happy now. Cos it marks the end of a week. wakakak!!

however there is one thing i kinda sad abt ar. one of my fren actually fall into depression, hopefully she can get out of it asap. having depression is no joke lo. moreover she is under counselling now, hopefully things will be okay in no time. hahax! i believe she will walk out of it as long as she is willing to open up and tok to her doctor.. hmmm god bless her.

Wheee~ finally my downloadings are gonna end super duper soon. lalala~!! takizawa hideaki's dramas rawks!! hehex!! I realise a few fun loving ppl ard me too. lol. thou are guys but they are super de funny la. found another person who wanna be a media designer as well. mr wee beng hwee. LOL. wakakka, that's y we tok kinda loads now, cos we like jap and we wanna be media designer!! whee!! design rawks and animations rawks to the core!! He funny ar, i told him i wanna go learn jap then he say he pull andrew and cheng da go together, then we 4 learn jap -_-" wait until i got money then say first =x.. wakakkax!! meanwhile kanbatte for o lvl ars. zzz

Things will be so nice if ppl could shut their mouth and dont comment and tok extra nonesense. nonetheless, life is not always de way we wanted. so we shall ignore ppl who wanna interupt our peaceful and beautiful like. =D . anyway it is really very saddening to noe that ms picca is really leaving soon [next week] and that her probs are so much. I noe she is a strong person and hopefully she can overcome her ordeal. haiz. ms picca, i will miss u so much u noe =( do take care... now now, everyone enjoy ur weekends ar. wakakak. see u all in 3days time!

[ahvone] ; [ignorance is bliss - i truely love the art of ignorance!] ; [5moredays!! to 29.03.2006!]
- sotong signing off

true bliss - art of ignorance

2006-03-23T18:23:00.000+08:00

LOL it is not like i care =p -

[someone just told me "it" overheard someone saying abt me] : LOL in the past i might be upset over such stuff, probably not anymore, just petty stuff thou. The mouth and the mind belongs to others, it is not within my boundary or right to stop them for speaking and thinking what they want. Everyone sure has someone they dun like for whatever reason. having de reason "bu shun yan" just simply child-like to me. Well, think in this way, u dun like a person, there will be still someone who dun likes u wat -_-" LOL . anyway my advice is, if u dun like me then dun tok me or rather keep a distance, it is not as thou i will plead u to be mine fren for i really no need this kind of so call frens, thank you for i have true frens who appreciate me and see me of what u dun, so kindly scram =]. Hmmm. not pinpointing anyone just just to those who dun like me, u will noe who are u.. lalala~

ppl dun like me is their business, i wun dislike them just because they dun like me. In fact i will still be myself, the choice is urs, it doesnt matters to me. Just rmb, what u felt of others, others might felt the same abt u =] wakakkaka!! Maybe i changed a lot bahx. all those times i had when though, those darkness of my years had really changed me... strengthened me as well. some realise that and some really dun, well doesnt matters.. cos what most importantly is i noe it is for my own good.

Since today tok abt my change i wanna thanks those ppl who used to add on to my misery, if not cos of u all i will not slip into my darkess part of life, and i will not from there noe who were real and who were just for a show, i will not have learn the ability to stand up on my own, i will not have learn so many things that even i lost count of wat they are, i will not even be motivated to do certain things, i will not ever be what i am today. I really wanna thank those ppl, however i really dun wanna bother much, i just wanna be wat i am now. i am contented enough, if there i see anyth where i really need to improve on i will. So far so good, for i feel good and mentally stronger, i finally noe how to differentiate wat is true and who is worth to be true to. lalala~ see ya!

[ahvone] : [Only when u are abandon by frens then u will experience the change of ur life - ENLIGHTEN] : [WHEE!! 5moredays!]
-sotong signing off =D

arigato term 2 first day of sch =]]

2006-03-20T20:44:00.000+08:00

First day of term 2 -

LOL, i still come online, cos i just cant bare to leave my downloaded jap songs [esp T&T and taki] and stopping my boku dake no madonna download. so i just sit infront of my computer listen to my beloved musics and do homework, in fact lidat i can concentrate more =D hmmm today was a good start of another term [i suppose]. Felt like i was different in a certain way, dunno how to say but just happy. i just feel good. I wanna stay like this forever and ever and better [KANBATTE] YAH~~ Peer tutoring was tough and i really hope vanessa will cope better with her maths now. Hope my extra mile of effort put in is not in vain =] jia you wor!! I believe u can do it one =D Just dun give up! There is nth call impossible in my dictionary, it is just whether u wan or NOT.

Huiying jiejie: Hees sure will update you thoroughly and more specific on my things de, when i free lo. You also must tell me wor. when we both free we shall be like in the old days, toking together and laughing madly away =x . Meanwhile i will push myself harder de. I will take care of myself de and u too must ok. Wait for me, it gonna be all over soon and i will do my best =] *OurPromise* dun think so much on unhappy stuff also =] MUACKS!

Not forgetting XINYI JIE : i also miss u de lor. after o we shall go out out out~~~ wakakkax. and i promise u i will also do my very best and take good care of myself. You too ok, dun always stay up so late in de night. Not good ar. hehex! muacks!

AndrewChoo: Arigato for really helping me find T&T's venus. Thou dunno at the end can find anot but really thx for de effort lo.
BengHwee: sorry ar i sotong one, so ytd it was u toking to me i also dunno. I tot it was just a online fren wanna me send music =x You cant blame me im always blur. Maybe ytd too indulge in watching takizawa's videos! wakakakax. eee anyway, i will tell u more abt jap songs as long as i can get good infos, provided if i can rmb.. =x

[ahvone]:[pushingMyselfToReachTheDreamsOfMyLife]:[WHEE!! 9moredaystotakibday!!]
-sotong signing off

atashi suki nihonji desu~

2006-03-19T20:18:00.000+08:00

Last day of term 1-

In a blink of an eye term one will be over this midnight. This means alot closer to O lvls. Sob, i dunno why i still not panicking.. seems like a bad sign though. Hmmm, this holiday honestly didnt study [bad ger~]. But i found my motivation~ whee~ taki!! hmmm... why let term one be the mark of end of honeymoon with the last search of taki~ LOL [ignore me].. and also let taki marks the start of my motivation and the motivation for me to do good etc [my small secret.shh =D]

Just now during the afternoon, i was thinking abt plastic surgery and i feel that it will be saddening to see a handsome/pretty person and know he/she underwent plastic surgery b4. At first i was searching for the truth whether someone have went to plastic surgery, as first i wanna deny the truth, but after that i admit, that person does did a little bit of plastic surgery. Hmmm, at first was shock, but after that i have a "eureka". Actually plastic surgery also nth de ma, if it can booast de person moral and be happy, i also happy for de person. Now that person so sucess [gratz gratz!!].. heees. Well who knows one day we ourself might go for plastic surgery? So still too early to say "i wun do plastic surgery"...
Wakakaka. some sure kana cheat by me tot is who rite. LOL.. it is just taki.. hmmm. Actually he got plastic surgery or not i also not very sure but i think got do alittle bit, but honestly i see his past photos and current one, also still very nice~ whee [ignore me =D] lalala No matter wat, still like taki de la. hehex!! alot of things in my heart. thanks for de motivation... =]

[[ahvone]] :: [[atashi suki nihonji desu~~ =D]]
-sotong signing off

i miss alot things. i love jap guys

2006-03-15T00:16:00.000+08:00

Back after a month or so-

Finally blogging after million of seconds since i blog the last time =D Now i got blog le hor. dun complain le =p. Hees. i finally update my blog's stuff, like my profile and adding the music [thou i think there is error but meanwhile i hack care]. actually cant make it properly very sad la..cos at first i tot it is ok but later realise cant change music or stop T.T ar.. nvm..

Study at home very fun =) oh ya. all my frens are so busy. o lvl de, busy with o lvl, wan go poly de also busy poly, working de also working. really no time to even sit down and tok or wat so ever. however my frens and i have "booked" each other to go out after our o. thou it sounds very early, but this year will fly very fast.. in a blink of an eye.. well well, who cares fast or not, just complete and do my best can le. same to all my frens oh =D

eh.. also nth much la.. now that so much things have happen i realise one thing.. dun post too many personal things online.. is dumb =) .. i miss buryyourdead.. i miss genji... i miss some one who looks like tackey... i miss huiying.. i miss xin yi. i miss huimin.. i miss sokkuan.. i miss my dance coach... i miss rabbit... i miss brian sir and michelle mdm... i miss 2005 nov-dec holiday... i miss alot of things... and i finally mean it... but.. somehow.. i dun miss woofy as much.. maybe.. im just numbed of his.. every everyth

[[iLoveJapaneseStuffandGuys =p .. tackey so cute and handsome =)]]-sotong signing off

i dunno. wakaranai...

2006-01-21T00:08:00.000+08:00

Back after a long weekend -

Wakakakka! i consider quite long nvr blog la. Nth to do then blog blog lor. Nvm even is "reader-less" nvm i noe it doesnt make sense. hahax. I was down with gastric flu this week. Such an unlucky week man! suddenly on tuesday gastric flu just drop by to say hi to me! zzz. Time for this week "reflection" wakkakaka! sch teaching us to reflect lot. so much reflect =x

Monday : Went to republic poly, hoping it will be somewhere nice to be at, but to me and my "molecules" it is plain boring and nth interest me as well. But well, me and my "molecules" and some others were having loads of fun in the bus. The most noisy ones on the bus. wakkaka. [molecules - hafiz, ivan, hidayah, farahdillah and me].. that was the day where ivan was really sad as well. my condolence. "Life is short, leaving the destination in life may not be the worst of it, god loves him".

Tuesday + Wednesday : Fell sick so stay at home and sleep sleep sleep like a piggy. Oink oink!!

Thursday : Hmmm went to NYP also another sians sians poly de lor. but then better than republic la =x me and my "molecules" drifted away from de class somehow. wakkakaka. then we "tour" de sch man. wakkaka. but we still manage to get back to them la. of cos! lol. hmmm then ran 2.2km. omg! i got 22.36s. although is cos i sick, but i sure even nvr sick also fail de la. so long nvr run liao. super tired de lor. I losing de enthu to run lor, leg cant tahan also. zzz. sob sob. hmmm overall ytd wasnt that bad la. But i just very tired.

TODAY : well well. elaborate more tmr bahx. i very tired. All i can say is i really have loads of fun la. LANEST to me, u all have improve alot. way alot. im relaly truely very very happy lor. =D

zzz time to get more rest / slp le bahx. lalala~ nites all
[im missing u again. why huh? i dunno also. oyasumi]-ahvonn

the misses

2006-01-15T02:17:00.000+08:00

Yea i am finally back -

but im lazy to blog wat happen for this week.
Infact i came in just to write abt wat i really miss badly.
Probably not really that bad but, i do miss them loads.
Because of studies i neglected my drawing and i really miss those time drawing.
Because of my slacking and playing, i miss those time to draw.
Because sch has started and his hp still have no money, we didnt contact.
Because i dunno where he is, i misses him so much.
Because human always look back, i realise i somehow miss my pri sch days.
Even thou there were really loads of bad memories.
Because i miss my pri sch day it makes me misses huimin and a few frens and "rabbit" loads.
Because i am so busy with rushing thru my life, i realise i miss smth badly.
I misses those time which i could just forget abt everyth and just slack.
Truely enjoy wat i can do, but i spend it onto unwanted relationship probs.
I dun regret anyth, just that i miss those things alot.
The greatest miss i have is...thinking back of taekwando life.
Maybe if i were to be still in there, things may be diff. may be better. i dunno.
But there is one thing i really wanna say.
Brian sir, michelle mdm, seniors/juniors i really miss u all loads. T.T
yes miss is miss, but i am still contented with wat i have today.
this is because, i believe, because of the path i walk now.
That is y i am a stronger person now.
the one im happy to be.
The one who noe wat she really wans as the days come.
Truely contented. and my encouragement.. come from all those misses =)
Finally realise. how important are my misses to all of u.
Truely misses everyone of u. maybe somehow include "woofy"..

[Feelings Linger.Natural to Miss.I cherish for the rest of my life]-ahvonn

Mother of 2-3 * Grandmother of 10 or so grandson * Die in peace * Having the best memories with my old time partner

2006-01-08T01:51:00.000+08:00

So far so good -

Have a good sleep last nite. I dreamt of smth but soon forgotten it. Anyway it was smth nice i suppose =) I am falling in love with rainie yang's LI XIANG QING REN [ideal lover] and ZI XIANG AI NI [only wanna love u]... awww the MTV is great and the melody is nice and the lyrics is maverlous. lalala~ if only the MTV does become a reality to all gers, it will be just so sweet and blessing.

I wanted to tell u, i was online for yesterday and today. But in the end, i chose not to. It is okay bahx. I dun wanna disturb u, asking u come online. maybe u are busy as well. Well, hopefully things over u there is good. And i realise one thing.. Indeed alot of gers is falling for u. LOL. and one of them even add me in friendster =) well well. to my special fren. looking forward to chat with u again.

to my kawaii ZHIHUA : I cannot promise u anyth for i easily forget things. and i am afraid that one day u will say that im a promise breaker. I dunno we will be able to last how long but least for now i noe that we both dun wanna end at all. We gotta con'd even till we are old =x hehes. not kua zhang, just that that is wat i hope that we could be. I really really dare not trust fren too much not to u but even to everyone. I just couldnt find the reason to somehow. Not that i going to ignore them but is like become i too careful with frens lor. im afraid to met those encounters over and over again. Thou we dun really noe for decades but i think is long enuff to start to noe each other further. I noe u are being hurt as well. So now we both are like supporting each other lor. and i am glad u helped me and is my hornour to be able to help u as well. Hopefully we will be able to help each other to walk out of the fear of being hurt by frens. If i am a boy i sure will fall for u. But because im a ger i am really treating u as my very goodie fren =) hmmm anyth u need to ask me just sms me lor. For now i dare not expect anyth, i just wanna cherish those moment that we gonna have =)) just wanna really say a big thanks to u norh. ARI~~~GATOU!!!

I just hope to have peace for the rest of this yr. Nth but just purely peace. I dun mind to be alone. Just like me and glen agreed. Is nice and good to be alone SOMETIMES. and smtimes i really like the feeling of being alone. That's is wat i call. having a peaceful mind and life =) simple and easy. No need to entertain no need to pretend no need to adapt towards others. occassionally hang out can concern fren and then have fun. Do things i like, head towards fashion design. Make a career out of it. marry a good guy, probably a rich and stable one. Be a mother at the agge of 22-25 of 2 or 3 kids. Be a grandmother of 10 grandchildren. die at the age of 80 [still fit de] but time to go. so contented life.. if only wat i tot will come to reality. but some are just beyond control. But having the tot, imagining is good enuff.. at least to me... =]

Just went to walk the dog with my bro's fren. we 3 are crapper man. thou i didnt crap much la. hehes. hmmm the dog is call tiffy. LOL. then walk pass 813. alot memories indeed arouse... thinking abit back of the pass. thx tiffy =) u let me rmb those good old times at those places. there are indeed alot alot alot memories that i really dun even wanna acknowledge. BUT after today. i feel that all this good old times good or bad i shldnt be unhappy. cos because there is this memory that is why i am here now. the juvone i am today now. totally contented. the future i dunno wat it will be like. but... i just hope it will be similar to wat i dream of =) oyasumi...

[[Mother of 2-3 * Grandmother of 10 or so grandson * Die in peace * Having the best memories with my old time partner]]-ahvone

2oo6 first week of sch

2006-01-06T23:06:00.000+08:00

FIRST week of sch's recap -

TODAY : today was cca day and also sec 1 orientation camp. During de cca day display it was kinda fun la. eh basically crapping with samantha and blackie and wen qin ah gong lor. yeah nth to do. waiting for 2.5hrs b4 started to do some work lor. hahah. then we watch kungfu hustle on mdm shi's laptop. wakkakaka!! super fun la. even thou watch b4 it is still super nice. Me and samantha keep teasing blackie. lol super funny! then he like to shake his legs so much! omg! =.=" he is a funny guy and is super black =x He plans far for all i noe. zzz way too far i think. wakkaka!! oh ya got a very sad news today. Mr sharil's mother just died. My condolence to u.

Thursday : eee yo actually nth much ytd. Was concentrating in class lor. Hmm nth humourous or special to tok abt. Have tea break with my mum and dad and his fren as well. omg his fren's crap really make me LMAO!!! oh ya uring pe lessons take weight. omg la.. gain so much weight. sob sob. so fat. haiz haiz.

Wednesday : First day to meet new SH teacher - mr Sharil, he is funny stern and firm. im sure with him our SH can improve as well. Assembly was pure boring. zzz. mr fatiuh is back to tpss as a DM.. ee yo he is checking our attire class by class. omg! and my class only one pass. the rest all fail cos ankle socks =x + color socks + hair length + etc la.. was tired that day thou i dunno y. hmmm. i cant recall much thou. Oh ya, also the day i started to hang out with zhi hua =)

Tuesday : also the first day of sch. Usuals, cleaning de class and organise etc. Lol. i became the math rep. to me it is ok la, better than in committe =x NO OFFENCE! just that i wanna relax more. Well nth much thou in class. For dance that day, probably was the saddess dance class in my life. Some like me, cried, cos of the changing of dance instructors. Maybe u all cant understand the pain that we felt, knowing and going thru the lost of instructor bai. THe time isnt long but it isnt short as well. I really wanted to be his good student, be a good dancer that he will be proud of.. But he just left suddenly. Haiz.. sad stuff shldnt be repeated too much. I really wanted to give up at that point of time. But i recalled wat he said. and deep in me i knew. i dun wanna give up dance and also.. i will continue to dance. is a promise to myself and my last promise to him. and i gonna fulfil my promise =)

Overall this week : i learnt alot alot of things. like i stated in previous year, 16yrs old is the year which i gonna learn many things and pick up many things. time to learn things to be even wiser and mature. Just for one week i learnt, to be more tolerant, calm, cool and also ignore certain things. Learning alot alot things which deep down i noe. it will carry on with me and im love this way to be. alrite. that's all for my 4days sch =) take care dudes!! lalala

[[miss instructor bai -take care wor]]-ahvone

YEAR 2oo6 ANOTHER BEGINNING

2006-01-02T17:53:00.000+08:00

TMR is marks the day of sch repen -

Cool~ so fast is 2oo6 and fast enough im in sec4 le. I kind of look forward to it but also not really looking forward to it. Me and huimin make a pact. we gonna overcome the o lvl war!! and i believe we both can de la. hehes. 2oo6 gonna be a special for me. At least. hehes. Cos i relaly have no idea of wat will be ahead of me =) i dun intend to expect anyth, cos when have a expectation and if it is not going to happen they will be dissapointment and will be sad. So i dun wanna be sad, therefore i just gonna carry on. Contented with each day. Step by step plan for the everyday to have. Thank god, everyday i wake up im still alive =p

Hmm i hope everyone will enjoy sch reopn bahx =) may it be a good a bad yr, live to the fulless to no regrets. lalalalala. 2oo6 SEC 4Express students this yr gonna be our last yr. NO one is gonna stay and all will be PROMOTE. i believe we can =) I just wish to have some peace for my last yr.. Ignorance is bliss. alrite. not much. i wan go prepare smth. tmr there will be dance =) going to call mdm shi soon. heees. tataz! see my class mates very soon and of cos sch mates!

[[No expectation=No worries=No sadness=Happy ever after=Step by step]]-ahvone

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2oo6~!!!

2005-12-31T21:28:00.000+08:00

It's gonna be 2oo6 ! -

Before 2oo5 gonna end i wanna blog abt 3bad things and 3good things.
Bad things: [1]Next yr miss picca wun be teaching lit anymore and heard that she might be leaving for good. She wun be the class form teacher also =( sad. wun be seeing her lidat. [2] Dance instructor is going to change thanks to tampines secondary sch useless principals! Sch no money then open sch for wat?! excuse only. Without this instuctor, tpss wait long long to get any more syf dance medal! Just wait till u all noe u all did the wrong choice also wun get a medal! This sch simply sucks. giving lame excuses that sch no money! why not make it clear that u all wanna give the money to other cca?! and not giving dance club a chance! Ever since dance club was open YOU ALL NEVER ever willing to support. all just a fake front giving support. Now still wanna change instructor! How can the student adapt so quickly. YOU ALL ARE JSUT DESTROYING ALL OF US! i hate u guys! WE will try all means to get my instructor stay in this sch. last time bball instructor also lidat now dance instructor also lidat. you noe this sch managment really sucks! put me to detention if u think i wasnt rite! think abt it TPSS MANAGEMENT! [3] sch is reopening soon meaning more stress and less fun =( hahax. And in sch will meet some unsightly ppl and things =.=" yeah 3 BAD things enuff for me to be sad abt..

Good things: [1] It is going to be a new year = new start and also nearer to my dreams!! whee~!! thou didnt get to meet up with huiying this yr but we are going to have alot planning next yr!! wakakakaka! i noe i will be a change person when sch reopen someone probably more selfish le bahx. cos i dun wanna care others anymore. because chinese have one saying. good intention to help in the end become de one being blame. i dun wanna care. and that is the best for me. next yr must concentrate study =) [2] Yeah!! next year change form teacher then i can dun be chairperson le! wakakakak! i have been waiting for this day =x i dun wanna serve this class at all. not at all. i am so happy abt this!! [3] ytd went to serangoon there to have a nice dinner with my lovely family. daddy passed his taxi test and now working le. lol. i noe is hard for him but i will be encouraging him de!! by studying hard =) Now i noe.. being a taxi driver is really harder than it seems.. =

Yeah, glen is back today liao. we going to count down to 2oo6 =.= hehes. he is my CRAPPER wakakak. one of the most crap person i ever noe. but still lose out to brother =x hehes. hmmm well well. i wish everyone happy new year!! in abt 2hrs30mins it gonna be a new start of life. whee~!! it is a pity daddy is not at home. i wan party too =x wakakak. nvm la. i think of myself it is a party in my room. lame. zzz. ja! take care guys! HAPPY NEW YEAR 2oo6~!!!!!!!!

[[Everything gonna be a new start and i am waiting for surprises to happen]]-ahvone

like hell i gonna give it a damn =x

2005-12-30T01:36:00.000+08:00

LaLaLa -

Tmr have dance so i cant chiong my maple too late. hahax. But tmr sure slack de, cos no instructor, moreover in the evening i have to go out again. Cos my bro is treating de family for a meal~!! whee~!! so happy. hahax. Hopefully tmr wun be too tired to enjoy the meal lor. If not it will be like so such a waste XD ... Yeah~!! Glen is coming back tmr le. wakakakax. but i think his hp also no money, so cant sms =x

sch reopening soon, to me it is nth to look forward to at all bahx. Some ppl is the sch are just detestable to be seen maybe via verser =x wakakak!! but it doesnt matters to me at all la. whee~~ ignorance is bliss. moreover only happiness matter. Also chatted with my bro abt it and he gave good advice. whehehehex!! least i have a bro like this and u dun =x ... hmmm and jac also told me a few things which is really gr8 too =)) hehes. hmmm when glen comes back he surely will say good advice too de =)

Lol. like hell i gonna give it a damn le bahx. Nth matters even if in class gonna feel as thou im alone. But actually im not lor. Is not like MUST mix with gals or only guys ma. there are still some ppl cos care de =) hehes. tsk tsk.. well well. I not gonna care. Is YOUR problem NOT mine =p.. alrite i wanna get back to my game le =x

[missing TANGHUIMIN and YIPHUIYING!]-ahvone

injured + aching =(

2005-12-29T01:55:00.000+08:00

ohayo -

yea.. its midnight again. hehees. Ytd dance too much liao then de leg blue black and was abit swollen. Kinda pain la. Tmr's extra class was cancelled by me very few ppl coming, so i rather let everyone rest. Let my leg rest as well. I hope it dun swell anymore. Haiz. yea at the ankle. my whole body is aching as well. old le lahx. wakkakax. ytd dance too much liao. hmmm over dance o.O lol. glen is coming back in two days time. the time i gonna chat with him online is also minimising as sch is reopen soon. well well. my hw are stuck. not moving. i cant be bothered =p lazy. zzz erm. alot to catch up when sch reopen. awaiting many fun stuff too! whee~!! wakakakax. no matter wat there is only one thing in kind. HAPPY =) tian tian kai kai xin xin. i nvr forget this quote of mine =D alrite. gtg for now. hope u guys will be happy too even if u are my enemy =p whehehex

[wish my ankle a speedy recovery * LetMeBeWithYou]-ahvone

wen qin ah gong + dance

2005-12-27T18:33:00.000+08:00

yoyoyoz -

Im back from my bath after from my dance class abt an hr ago. today was even tougher and even more pressurise, especially instructor bai cos he was asked to create the dance finish by this week. He was so mad today because we were slow =( told the teacher incharge le ma. cant ask him to faster de, there will be worst de. In fact will slow all of us down lor. Alot dance steps added and is really nice. I just worry that some will later wan come dun come lidat. then we all will be affected lor. hopefully they will continue to come. Wen qin ah gong so good lor. Came to watch us dance from 9am till abt 3pm lor.

After the official lessons, four malay gers, michelle, jia xing and me stayed back to practice the dance [with company of wen qin ah gong =x]. really wanna thx those gers who stayed to pratice. althou we didnt stay as long as expected but we did go thru more thorougly those steps and i noe it will help them better. For those who didnt stay. i dun see the need to scold u all or ask u all stay if u all are not willing, i just hope u will will come to ur senses and come this thursday and friday. MOST importantly dun be absent for official lessons =) thank you for the coorperation..

Today i really enjoy much as per normal, probably even more than usual. there is wen qin to accompany us and cheering us and also alot of craps. I love ah gong!!! =x i meant love as in a fren and ya as a ah gong as well =) then we were all fooling ard after lessons and is really a nice one lor. [during lesson was hell ~~] erm. then me jia xing and michelle stayed abt 30mins to chat with mdm shi lor. we tok so much =x and uncovered those "idiot people" wakkaka. dun need be afraid if u did nth wrong. we talk really alot stuff man but is our secrets. shhh~~!

Michelle was screaming that she saw herself in me =.=" but i admit la.. in a certain way lor. hahas. she is nice actually, just that she is like me, hard to get ppl who will understand. michelle i wish u all the best. wah now super tired. lol. but i wanna play maple. forget it la homework.. i just letting it rot =x wakakaka

[wen qin thx for everyth today =) it was indeed memoriable and enjoyable]-ahvone

Busy~~~

2005-12-26T20:49:00.000+08:00

hihihi -

Wah this week i will be kinda busy le.

3 dancing lessons this week. especially tmr from 9pm -6am.

But is it worth it afterall. hehes.

All the dancers are so excited =x lalala

Just hope that the dance can be complete asap.

Then we have more time to train on lor.

hmmm my hw is stuck smhow.

i really dun wanna do it liao.

sick of hw. making me dizzy >.<

I think a few also nvr complete hw bahx =x

hehes. at most kana scold lor. wat can i do.

haiz. i just plain lazy. too lazy to do hw.

i will just pia next year lor.

everyone enjoy b4 it is all over >o<

[smth is missing in me. i need u to mend it]-ahvone

yeah! just in time =x

2005-12-25T01:29:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS~!! HOHOHOX!!

yeah~!! christmas le, also mark that a new yr is coming near o.o hehes. erm is midnight again. just donw with those greetings. some will greet thru sms tmr. hahas. Just celebrated at home with my family. Drank beer but not nice de.. so bitter. maybe wine is still the best alcohol to me =x hehes.

oh ya, luckily this time i got check msn then noe that glen is online lor. so greeted him and everyone online merry christmas. lol. some one even asked me out with him o.O but i didnt. i very guai de. i dun go out late at nite. wakakka. moreover i dun really noe him well. didnt see the need to go bahx. lalala~!

hmmm nth much. just wanna wish all my frens merry xmas and put aside ur unhappiness if u have any and enjoy this festive first. enjoy before it gonna ends!! wakakaka. MAY all ur wishes come true~!! i wanna be santa claus!!! does that make sense???? no i dun think so. hehes. i just wanna play the fool~!! wahahaha! buaiz!

[yeah! i manage to say merry xmas to u in time =) luckily..takecares]-ahvone